Managing Lifelong Mental Health as a Senior

@johnjames Thanks for your post about your fox hole. It doesn't sound silly at all! A safe place is anywhere that we feel safe (or safer) during a crisis. Thanks for that great insight in finding a safe place even during a war. As I think about it, I realize that we all have our “war-like struggles” and to find that "safe place" is very important. Just a message to the rest of our group, @georgette12 @safetyshield @jimhd @rspaulding @lesbatts @overwhelmed @ihatediabetes @johnhans, please share with the group, if you like, where your "safe place" is. Thanks to you all for your wonderful kindness and support to each other. As I've said before, you all really bless me! Teresa

@johnjames Thanks for your post about your fox hole. It doesn't sound silly at all! A safe place is anywhere that we feel safe (or safer) during a crisis. Thanks for that great insight in finding a safe place even during a war. As I think about it, I realize that we all have our “war-like struggles” and to find that "safe place" is very important. Just a message to the rest of our group, @georgette12 @safetyshield @jimhd @rspaulding @lesbatts @overwhelmed @ihatediabetes @johnhans, please share with the group, if you like, where your "safe place" is. Thanks to you all for your wonderful kindness and support to each other. As I've said before, you all really bless me! Teresa

@johnjames Thanks for your post about your fox hole. It doesn't sound silly at all! A safe place is anywhere that we feel safe (or safer) during a crisis. Thanks for that great insight in finding a safe place even during a war. As I think about it, I realize that we all have our “war-like struggles” and to find that "safe place" is very important. Just a message to the rest of our group, @georgette12 @safetyshield @jimhd @rspaulding @lesbatts @overwhelmed @ihatediabetes @johnhans, please share with the group, if you like, where your "safe place" is. Thanks to you all for your wonderful kindness and support to each other. As I've said before, you all really bless me! Teresa

@johnhans and @elizabethbryant Thanks to you both for encouraging @brit in the idea of getting a second ENT opinion. You are such great encouragers! Thanks to all of you! Teresa

Oh, just want to say something and then i will sign off. I gave my phone number to theresa and colleen. So i now can be contacted.
But i need to say one more time that i feel much safer than i did last week. To have our online community care so much and wonder if i was okay was not expected and it has so overwhelmed me with gratitude. I will definitely not do stupid things without checking in with you guys first! Blessings

Johnjames, thanks so much for telling us about the pain specialist . i am praying that you will have more and more strength each day. I did not know that there are service dogs specifically for psych issues. I am going to look that up. My english bulldog serves the purpose for now. I lost my bassette hound last year at the age of 14. Long life for a bassette. My chow mix had also passed 6 months earlier. I got my puppy before gracie died because i knew i wouldn't do well when she passed. I stayed with my chow, louie, and of course with gracie as i had to make the decision to let each of them go. I still can't look at their pictures because it is still too traumatic. But louie did live 11 years which is long for his breed.

Oh...i used to work in rehab/hospice/alzeiheimers (wrong spelling there) facilities and we brought in petting zoos for our patients. We actually brought into the building and even up the elevator a llama, goat, pigs and rabbits and all sorts of unusual animals. They sat on the beds (well, not the llama and goat)! And everyone came out of their yukky mental and physical stuff they were dealing with. Even me! I carried a baby pig around all day but, unfortunately, the zoo wouldn't let me take him home. They found me hiding in a closet with him but they heard his squeeks through the door and found us.

It sounds like you have a loving wife and your comment about not wanting to leave her alone to suffer if you were "not here" is extremely compassionate and sensitive. Those who take their own lives have no idea of the life-long trauma they leave for their loved ones. It sounds like, even though you live with such mental and physical pain, you put your family first, and friends. Please keep us informed as to what is happening with you. You are definitely a role model and i feel encouraged when you share. Blessings.

These people are supposed to be Christians? I'd try another church if I were you and don't tell anyone about your background.
I do not go to church but I had plenty of it when I was a child, enough to make me not want to ever go to church again.
My family and close friends know that I am Bipolar and I never tell anyone else. I thought the bias was lifting against people with mental illnesses but I guess not.
Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Georgette12, don't take from my post about the inch worm rule that I start out with distrusting people. I have a basic trust in people with the exception of those I pick up on right away as not being trustworthy. I will sometimes use the inch worm rule with them, and other times I will just stay away from those I think are not trustworthy. I understand that those empathic feelings I have are filtered through my own experiences and may be my own issue and not reflective of who that person is.

In the past I was too trusting and I had few boundaries, which meant I laid my heart and life out to everyone and was not able to discriminate between those who would respect and be kind to me, and those who might take advantage of my nievete'. I would often be hurt by untrustworthy people. I learned through therapy and years of personal work that I have boundaries that are real and necessary for me to live a productive and happy life. I learned to use the inch worm rule when my intuition told me that I needed to be cautious until i knew a particular individual better. This worked very well, especially in business situations. (I have worked all of my life, retiring in 2016.)

My life has been filled with situations where I could not trust the adults in my life, and had to rely on myself to keep me safe. Since I was a very young child, I didn't always make the right decision about safety. I also learned that at times the best way for me to get support was to open up to everyone, looking for the person who would love me. That is where my insecurity and my hyper-vigilance were in conflict and confusing for me. I first sought help with counseling when I was 24 years old. I grew up with my parents separating when I was 18 months old, after my father pulled both my arms out of my shoulder sockets sending me to the emergency room. My mother was pregnant with my sister at the time and she was very sick. She decided to send me to live with my aunt. I lived with my aunt until I was 4 years old. Then I came back to my mother, and I was totally confused about which woman was my mom at that point. By the time I was 5, my mother realized she could not take care of my 2 older brothers, my sister and me. She sent my brothers to live with our father in Denver, and my sister and I were sent to an orphanage in Missouri, where my mother lived. We were there until I was 12 years old. My grandmother bought a house so my mom, sister, and I could live with her. That lasted 2 years, and then my mother couldn't stand living with her mother. So, she took my sister with her and left me to tell my grandmother that she had gone to Denver. I ended up living with my mother in Denver after she had remarried my father, when I was 16. I was pregnant and married by the time I was 19. I needed to create my own stability. I had been in counseling for 3 years when realized my marriage was a mess and my husband was an alcoholic. My first husband and I were married for 9 years.

That's a snapshot of my history, which in detail is disturbing, but that would be just too much for this forum. Suffice to say mistrust and confusion were a big part of my psyche. I really needed counseling and I was aware enough to ask for help when I was 24 years old. My life steadily improved since then. I only realized about 4 years ago that I was depressed for most of my life, and again I asked for help. I am taking Citalopram now and it has had a tremendous affect on my happiness. Life is good now; I am fulfilled; I love my second husband of 34 years. I am very grateful for what I have learned and the opportunities I have had to choose to be successful in my life.