What activity do you refuse to give up? How do you adapt to age?

Posted by Sue, Volunteer Mentor @sueinmn, May 23, 2025

I spent the afternoon in my favorite place - my yard and garden. I have gardened since the age of 9, had my own gardens for 54 years, been a Master Gardener volunteer for over 20 years and in two very different climates. I'm not "old" at 74 but I have a lot challenges with arthritis, bad shoulders, bad lungs, occasional vertigo...

While "removing winter" and preparing for the new season, I thought a lot about how to simplify 8 very different garden beds so I can manage them going forward.

Here are my ideas so far:
Simplify:
Replace annuals with tough perennials and attractive ground covers. Replace aggressive perennials with low-care shrubs.
Replace high-maintenance plants like roses with natives and other easy-care plants.
Use natural mulch and ground covers to keep weeds down, instead of wood chips that need to be replaced often.
Adapt:
Use mulch, Preen and ground cover to reduce weeds.
Hire help for the heavy work, and for intense seasonal tasks like "putting the gardens to bed." Even once or twice a year is a big help.
Put heavy patio pots on wheels for ease in moving.
Reduce:
Smaller gardens. A few vegetables in pots instead of a big garden (after all, you can get produce to can or freeze at the local Farmers' Market and support small businesses.)
Shrubs, decorations and landscape rocks in place of dozens or hundreds of plants.
Plant an "esy care" lawn rich in native clover or other ground cover and tough low-need, low-growing grasses.
Automate:
Irrigate with drip lines set on timers, or and irrigation system. The initial investment pays off over time.

What is your favorite activity, and how can you adapt as you go forward?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

raebaby | @raebaby | Jun 18, 2025

In reply to @qaaz "That sounds like it would really be relaxing. I'll have to Google gel pens and coloring..." + (show)

Look on amazon. I like glitter pens the best. Also, it's fun to use alcohol pens. They work well for big areas where the gel pens would be used up quickly.

qaaz | @qaaz | Jun 19, 2025

In reply to @cmbg "Exactly! I am discovering new interests (like Braille) and inventive ways to do things which I..." + (show)

The last sentence was beautifully put and very inspiring. Thank you. I wish you well with your new challenge.

margotcc | @margotcc | Jun 20, 2025

In reply to @cmbg "Exactly! I am discovering new interests (like Braille) and inventive ways to do things which I..." + (show)

I admire you.
Feel the same, want to be a role model for my kids!
I am doing well most of the time, but ran into a problem. Because I was so positive, the kids thought, still do, that I am just fine. (They live out of town, have busy lives with work, etc.)

My back gave out yesterday, it was, and still is, darn painful. A question about my health, and old age - am 84 - sure would be nice.
So I’m now trying to find a balance. Am trying to be honest, but not harp on my issues.
That seems to work, somewhat, lol.

Not related… the best thing I’ve read online for a while:
Just move!
So I don’t harp on getting my steps in, doing exercises and stretches that are too strenuous, am learning how to relax more, AND EVEN ASK FOR HELP!
Wish everyone a good and relaxing day!
Smiling now….

Sue, Volunteer Mentor | @sueinmn | Jun 20, 2025

In reply to @margotcc "I admire you. Feel the same, want to be a role model for my kids! I..." + (show)

My Mom's version of "...Just move!..." was "I can stand up and MOVE or sit down and RUST." My PT liked it so well he is having a sign made for his treatment room.

The hardest thing for my husband and me is to ask for help - but we're getting better at it. My daughter and her husband are teaching their boys to help others, so at 6 & 9 they are even beginning to spontaneously offer help sometimes. And they love to show off their muscles by moving heavy pots and rocks, digging holes and carrying packages for me.

mrterry | @mrterry | Jun 22, 2025

I'm 79. The rototiller doesn't like me anymore. So i turned my garden into a self sustaining wildflower plot. I've always wanted to try it. Looking good. My newest hobby is minimalizing. Better to find a home for things i don't need instead of the dumpster the kids will throw it into when I'm gone.

slarson14 | @slarson14 | Jun 22, 2025

In reply to @mrterry "I'm 79. The rototiller doesn't like me anymore. So i turned my garden into a self..." + (show)

Am turning 70 in Sept. Am sorry to hear your rototiller doesn't like you any more! I am having arguments with my rototiller and my shredder....they are getting feisty in their old age.

cmbg | @cmbg | Jun 23, 2025

In reply to @margotcc "I admire you. Feel the same, want to be a role model for my kids! I..." + (show)

I hope you can find a way to connect with them. I am terrible, I contact my kids a lot. I know they are busy so we just exchange ‘Love you’ texts much of the time. I tend to focus my attention on what’s in front of me and I suspect they do too. So, I go ahead and make the first move. I try to contact them every few days just briefly. I probably drive them crazy, but they are kind enough to let me do it.

margotcc | @margotcc | Jun 23, 2025

I’m trying.
All three grown kids are different, so I try different approaches. The oldest still talks on the phone, does so about once a week. If I don’t hear from her, I’ll text in a couple of days and ask how she’s doing. That works.
The middle daughter is polite, only texts, not often, works a lot of overtime and is wrapped up in her own world;
the youngest lets his wife do the communicating. And she thinks I am perfect, lol.
But if I have a specific request they all do it. Overall, they are good kids.
My problem is me!! I have to let them know that I am Not OK all the time, share the bad with the good.
I am trying to be part of their lives, don’t hear much there, guess we all have problems sharing.

One big problem I have is that two of them, who are the closest to me in proximity, can’t stand each other, they are middle aged and I wished they’ll grow up! Of course I don’t tell them that, but I did tell them that I’ll stay out of it and don’t take sides.
I don’t like drama.
Enough for tonight…… guess I needed an ear. Thanks.

wck | @wck | Jun 24, 2025

In reply to @margotcc "I’m trying. All three grown kids are different, so I try different approaches. The oldest still..." + (show)

margotcc
Suggest that you keep the lines open and, I agree, share both the not so good times with the good times, that way may let them come back to you with their life challenges in turn.