1. < Just Want to Talk

Conflicts between a mother and her 32-year old son who moved back home

Posted by marilyn1942 @marilyn1942, Jan 11, 2017

My son was very happy being married to the woman of his dreams for 5+ years. She started to see other men and women. He moved back home and occasionally is impossible to live with. Sometimes he can be nice and other times he screams profanity at me. I don't charge him rent and I buy all of the food. I asked him to stay at his girlfriend's apartment and to take his 2 dogs with him. I can't take his abuse.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Just Want to Talk Support Group.

Minnie1971 | @lesbatts | Jan 14, 2017

Such a heartbreaking story Marilyn. That must have been so difficult seeing your husband die, but at least he died a peaceful death. I think about the people in my life that have killed themselves and most of them used a firearm to do it with including my brother. I was very close to him and he was a very handsome young man with a great personality. Anyway for the longest time I couldn't get over the idea that he had used a shotgun to kill himself with and what he must have looked like. I don't think about that very much anymore it's to depressing and negative. I try to think the good thoughts.

Leslie

REPLY
1 reply
safetyshield | @safetyshield | Jan 15, 2017
In reply to @marilyn1942 "I am homesick. I miss the people and the area very much. My sister and brother-in-law..." + (show)
@marilyn1942

I am homesick. I miss the people and the area very much. My sister and brother-in-law are in their 80's and my sister will not fly. My son has friends who have offered to help. First, I have to fly back East and find a new home which should not be difficult. There are tons of new construction developments that I love. Thank you. I can't wait for my next trip back and hopefully, I will find a great home. This home is beautiful but too far from the people that I love.

Jump to this post

I am hoping for the best for you but no matter what you do please keep in touch

REPLY
safetyshield | @safetyshield | Jan 15, 2017
In reply to @marilyn1942 "Oh my dear Nancy. Your tragedies are far worse than mine. I nearly fell over when..." + (show)
@marilyn1942

Oh my dear Nancy. Your tragedies are far worse than mine. I nearly fell over when I read about your sister taking her own life. Other people have told me stories about family members taking their own life. This will be the first time that I have ever seen a counselor. I should have seen one when my husband passed away 8 years ago. He was such a great person and was very healthy (we thought) until 3 days before he died. He had a massive heart attack and they could not save him. Shortly before we passed, he smiled at me and told me to give him all of my kisses. I said, "absolutely." His eyes were so blue and beautiful. Then he told me to go home. I told him I was staying with him because the computers indicated that he was improving. He closed his eyes and died. I remember the doctor removing his wedding ring and that is all that I remember.

Jump to this post

I am sorry for your loss but keep strong. Do not think to much on what you should of done but now on your present and future

REPLY
marilyn1942 | @marilyn1942 | Jan 16, 2017
In reply to @marilyn1942 "I am homesick. I miss the people and the area very much. My sister and brother-in-law..." + (show)
@marilyn1942

I am homesick. I miss the people and the area very much. My sister and brother-in-law are in their 80's and my sister will not fly. My son has friends who have offered to help. First, I have to fly back East and find a new home which should not be difficult. There are tons of new construction developments that I love. Thank you. I can't wait for my next trip back and hopefully, I will find a great home. This home is beautiful but too far from the people that I love.

Jump to this post

I should not complain about a family issue. I have read several of the discussion posting and there are tons of people who are really physically and emotionally suffering. I have not commented on any of the posts because I am not sure it is appropriate. OMG, I hope the doctors find out what is causing your current problem and that you get well. I will stay in touch. You too ok?

REPLY
marilyn1942 | @marilyn1942 | Jan 16, 2017
In reply to @lesbatts "Good luck to you Marilyn I think that you are making a wise choice." + (show)
@lesbatts

Good luck to you Marilyn I think that you are making a wise choice.

Jump to this post

I have not been online for a few days because I was not feeling well but I am getting better. As an update, I would like to report that my son has been doing all of the laundry and cooking plus he prepares vitamin C drinks for me several times a day. His female friend stopped over on Saturday. As usual, she is not super friendly and my son's attitude toward me changed immediately. He is not hostile but our normal relationship as a family changes. It becomes cold. I just walk away.

REPLY
marilyn1942 | @marilyn1942 | Jan 16, 2017
In reply to @kanaazpereira "Hello @marilyn1942, and Welcome to Connect, Thank you for sharing your story; you must be feeling..." + (show)
@kanaazpereira

Hello @marilyn1942, and Welcome to Connect,

Thank you for sharing your story; you must be feeling so frustrated, and sad with this interaction.
@lesbatts has given some great advice and suggestions; I also wonder if your son feels vulnerable, or 'powerless' about his situation, and is reacting by lashing out in anger so as to feel in control of things?
Sometimes, verbally recognizing the cause of low self esteem, or acknowledging how hard this may be for him too, can make a difference.
What you shouldn't do is assume blame for his problems or shortcomings; you have to take care of yourself first, so that you can take care of your family.

@marilyn1942, have you thought of getting your son to see a counselor? A neutral mediator, sometimes, may be able to reduce tensions and anxieties and, hopefully provide a solution that neither party may have thought of.

Jump to this post

Your comments and suggestions are very wise. I love your responses. Thank you.

REPLY
safetyshield | @safetyshield | Jan 16, 2017
In reply to @marilyn1942 "I am homesick. I miss the people and the area very much. My sister and brother-in-law..." + (show)
@marilyn1942

I am homesick. I miss the people and the area very much. My sister and brother-in-law are in their 80's and my sister will not fly. My son has friends who have offered to help. First, I have to fly back East and find a new home which should not be difficult. There are tons of new construction developments that I love. Thank you. I can't wait for my next trip back and hopefully, I will find a great home. This home is beautiful but too far from the people that I love.

Jump to this post

marilyn1942 that is the beauty of this sight. If you have something or thought that you want to add to a discussion than please do it. You sound like a thoughtful person so I am sure that what you would have to say is important both for you to say and others to hear. When in daught dive in and say what you want to say. I am also sure others would like to read what you have to say, In order to relate to you their stories to yours. So I am looking forward to hearing from you in the future

REPLY
safetyshield | @safetyshield | Jan 16, 2017
In reply to @lesbatts "Good luck to you Marilyn I think that you are making a wise choice." + (show)
@lesbatts

Good luck to you Marilyn I think that you are making a wise choice.

Jump to this post

I am sorry about your relationship with your son but I am glad that you are proactive in your own health concerns

REPLY
marilyn1942 | @marilyn1942 | Jan 17, 2017
In reply to @lesbatts "Good luck to you Marilyn I think that you are making a wise choice." + (show)
@lesbatts

Good luck to you Marilyn I think that you are making a wise choice.

Jump to this post

How are you doing? I am healthy except for an occasional minor health problems which are easily treatable. You have major problems. Tell me what is going on with you.

REPLY
marilyn1942 | @marilyn1942 | Jan 17, 2017
In reply to @lesbatts "Such a heartbreaking story Marilyn. That must have been so difficult seeing your husband die, but..." + (show)
@lesbatts

Such a heartbreaking story Marilyn. That must have been so difficult seeing your husband die, but at least he died a peaceful death. I think about the people in my life that have killed themselves and most of them used a firearm to do it with including my brother. I was very close to him and he was a very handsome young man with a great personality. Anyway for the longest time I couldn't get over the idea that he had used a shotgun to kill himself with and what he must have looked like. I don't think about that very much anymore it's to depressing and negative. I try to think the good thoughts.

Leslie

Jump to this post

to It was difficult seeing him die. I held him until he took his last breath. He kept asking me for a drink of water. You have experienced far worse. Why, why have so many people killed themselves? Especially your brother. Those people had the whole world ahead of them. Had any of those people confided in you? I am sorry and I should not be discussing this. It is depressing and negative. I want you to know that my prayers and friendship are with you. Where do you live?

REPLY
View MoreView Less
Please sign in or register to post a reply.