Conflicts between a mother and her 32-year old son who moved back home

Safetyshield, I am so sorry that your mother passed away. I know how she felt and you feel regarding leaving your state of birth. The neighbors back in PA were so kind and helpful. We never felt alone. I also worked in Philadelphia for 25 years before moving to AZ. I can't seem to find a way to connect to the people in the West. I live in a great community and there are activities that are interesting and beneficial. When I finish the activity or class, I leave with a feeling of discouragement. I am extremely friendly and love to be with people but that connection is not here. I will keep trying.

I am homesick. I miss the people and the area very much. My sister and brother-in-law are in their 80's and my sister will not fly. My son has friends who have offered to help. First, I have to fly back East and find a new home which should not be difficult. There are tons of new construction developments that I love. Thank you. I can't wait for my next trip back and hopefully, I will find a great home. This home is beautiful but too far from the people that I love.

Good luck to you Marilyn I think that you are making a wise choice.

Hi Marilyn I just wanted to let you know what I've been through. My Dad died when he was 45 totally unexpected. My brother and five of my cousins took their own lives. My mother died a painful horrific death, she was my best friend. My best friend from first grade on died two years ago from a seizure.
I have Bipolar Disorder which can be very difficult to live with. I've been on at least 35 different meds. I have PTSD from all the things that have happened to me. I get up each morning looking forward to the day. Some days I feel awful and other days I'm better. I have no idea why I'm telling you this. I guess it's because you can get through anything if you try hard enough. What makes my life worth living is my husband, My three children, my grandchildren, and my siblings whom I'm very close to. I also make my own glass beads and jewelry. When I have the time I'll do some sewing also. Okay enough about me I'm getting bored.
Hopefully you'll head back east so you can be close to your family and friends. That's really what life is all about, having people in your life that you love.and that love you. Take care, write soon.

Leslie

Thank you @marilyn1942, yes it is challenging to have an adult child living at home, and the disability adds another layer! My daughter is 42 years old, she has never lived on her own but she is engaged to a Canadian and will eventually move to Canada. I so want her to have a normal life! She has been through a lot in her life, and I'm happy that she's found a soulmate. I moved from Southern California to Arizona a year ago, the Phoenix area. I have always lived far from my relatives so it wasn't a big deal for me, except for friends, of course. I'm a Christian, so I found a church and started going right away. I have found many good friends there. Also, joining groups of interest to you is a great way to make friends. I go to Zumba classes. :0) It takes time, though, to build friendships. Hang in there!

:0( Such a rough path you've been on. You must be an incredibly strong person to be still standing! I have experienced some of the same tragedies, my dad also died at age 45, my mother died at 31, when I was 7. My sister took her own life in 2000. My youngest daughter died 2 years ago of colon cancer, and my older daughter, as I've said earlier, is disabled. Two of my friends died in the last 2 years. I too had PTSD, depression etc but I had a great counselor who helped me through all of my past, using EMDR with regular counseling. You might want to check EMDR out, it was a lifesaver for me. I wish I had grandchildren, but that's not in the cards for me unless I 'adopt' some kids who need a grandma! I am blessed to have a wonderful husband who supports me 100% of the time, and friends who really care. There are always blessings mixed in with the challenges of life! God bless you!

marilyn1942 one of the more detailed way that I was able to cope with my move was to connect with a group of people that have the same hobbies as me. Fortunately a friend of mine back home knew of such a group and gave me a name and I have been part of this gaming group for 13 years now and have met many new people. Also on facebook I have connected with old friends who live in my state and throughout the US. I connect with them daily. It isn't the same as being with them, But it helps. Contacts your neighborhood church or religious organizations may get you started. I realize from you comment about feeling discouragement when you leave the activiites; Is the activities that you have left classes? Can you tell me more of what type of the activites that you have been apart of in AZ. There are activities that I have done to keep me busy or not feeling so alone or depressed. These were not feeling alone activities and when I got home I would feel OK but not as satisfied as being with people with the same interest or people that I can call friends. Well this rant of mine was just food for though and to let you know that you are heard. Keep in contact.

Oh my dear Nancy. Your tragedies are far worse than mine. I nearly fell over when I read about your sister taking her own life. Other people have told me stories about family members taking their own life. This will be the first time that I have ever seen a counselor. I should have seen one when my husband passed away 8 years ago. He was such a great person and was very healthy (we thought) until 3 days before he died. He had a massive heart attack and they could not save him. Shortly before we passed, he smiled at me and told me to give him all of my kisses. I said, "absolutely." His eyes were so blue and beautiful. Then he told me to go home. I told him I was staying with him because the computers indicated that he was improving. He closed his eyes and died. I remember the doctor removing his wedding ring and that is all that I remember.

You are such a nice person. I apologize for the delay in my response. Friends from PA have been calling today and I am delighted. I was a runner. I ran and completed a marathon. My time was horrible but I finished. I also loved cycling. I did complete a 25 mile trip. I never attempted to run another marathon. Once was enough. Here in my community I work out on occasion but not nearly as often as I should. Since my husband passed, it isn't much fun getting involved in physical activities. The next time that I open the community web, I will copy the activities and send them to you. Dancing with the Stars will be performing here on 1/20. I can't wait. Thank you for your kindness. Everyone has been so responsive and I feel better. I am getting a little tired so let's talk tomorrow.

Hi Nancy,
You're the strong one here I can't imagine how you've gotten through all that you've been through. I guess we have to keep on going no matter what. Please take care of yourself.

Leslie