I'm not recovering: Could meds be causing suicidal thoughts?

I just had to comment on your post. It's such a small world, I use to live 20mins from Longwood Gardens. It's a gorgeous place. I miss being able to go there. It is truly heaven on earth. I believe that if you can get outside and see the beauty in nature, God's creation it will lift your spirits. At least it does for me. God Bless

Suggest you look at their site and any other pictures and comments as they've had huge upgrades over the last ten years (maybe more?). We live 30 miles away in NJ and I've been looking at homes near there forever. Problem is it's in the wrong direction from our children and rest of family. Another positive is that it's close to medical providers from Philly to Wilmington area. Thanks for the blessing, never have enough of them. Take care... PS: planning a visit this Friday if the weather holds.

I never had thoughts of suicide until I started taking anti-depressants. They flick a switch in your brain that control inhibition, in other words nothing matters, and you don't care. I even become aggressive over trivial matters. I stopped and conservatively take medicinal cannabis oil.

It doesn't matter if I take meds or not. I have suicidal thoughts with and without meds.

I had taken a combo of antidepressants that worked for years - regular life and no suicidal thoughts. The combo stopped working. I was off all meds for about 3 months and became really concerned when the suicidal thoughts came back. This year has been the most depressed I've ever been. When I became desperate, I
decided to try something again. I retried Lamictal. It isn't working either. I've been on it for 5 weeks. In the last 2 weeks I've had intermittent suicidal thoughts. Today was really bad. When I think I'm a burden to everyone who means the most to me and I think I just can't try again to make anything right again, my thoughts change to it would be better for everyone if I just disappeared.
I tried reaching out to my spouse and he didn't give me a hug or tell me things were not as bad as they seem. I can see he's tired of my depression too. I cried histarically in my car, alone with my dog, convinced that I need a plan. I tried calling a friend, but they didn't answer, but then she reached out via Facebook messenger. I told her that mental illness was winning. We talked. She said what I've been trying to do isn't working, that I need to try something different instead.
I feel that I've burned so many bridges, I don't how to recover. My diabetes is out of control, my parents are dealing with a new chapter in their life that I'm grieving over, my siblings and I are not getting along, my kids are seeing a side of me I don't want them to see, my spouse is tired of being supportive, and I can't function in most situations that are outside my room. I am broken and I have a real hard time seeing a way out.

Breathe deep!! You are valuable and special!! (I wrestled with suicidal thoughts too.. ) the voice you are listening to is not the one you need to be hearing.. (I can't get too religious on here.. I'm a born again Christian..you are God's specially made person.. He created YOU for a purpose..ok.. here we go.. the voice you are hearing is not from God.. they will probably edit this .. but if it helps you I don't care) You have children..??? Oh my goodness !! Blessed!! They need you!! You have a husband.. oh my goodness.. Blessed!! You have a dog..oh my goodness !! Blessed!! .. PLEASE!!! Don't think of hurting yourself!! You must be a loving sensitive person to say and think the things you think..I am sticking my neck out here.. but I've been there .. 38 at my head.. and you can't take a bullet back.. as I've said before.. My best friend shot herself in 2006 (she was very ill) and her husband and grandson found her.. her grandson became addicted to drugs ..attempted suicide (shot himself in the head) and survived but is serving a life sentence in prison for drug dealing..her daughters lives were shattered.. we still cry over the loss of her.. PLEASE!! Look up (and I mean UP..) and take a deep breath and feel the air you're breathing in.. so many people would want you to keep doing that.. breathing.. I pray you find peace and joy unspeakable... sending you the BIGGEST HUG!! LOVE YOURSELF!! YOU ARE LOVELY!!

The suicidal thoughts have disappeared with an intense headache. So, hopefully, I'll get reprieve from the suicidal thoughts for a bit of time.

I appreciate you sharing your experiences. These decisions of the lives that are affected do cause me a lot of concern. My kids are the biggest reason as to why I continue on. They are such great kids! I just don't want my deep depression to negatively impact their lives.

I'm so very glad to hear this!! Praying you have permanent relief!! God bless you sweetheart!!

Yes, meds can absolutely cause suicidal thoughts. Take it as a giant red flag that it's time to change your meds. I have had chronic depression for decades and my experience is that finding the right antidepressant at any given time is a crap shoot. And even when you find one that helps, after a few years or so, it suddenly stops helping and the hunt begins again. As they say, suicide is a permanent answer to a temporary problem. I hope you are able to hang in there.

Your brain is tired and in turn you are, I to have become a burden when I once worked and my wife stayed at home to bring up our children. Long story short I am unable to work due to receiving a lung transplant, this had me setting up kits of banked meds and other bad ideas. I am not sure of the legality where you are, but I just tried medicinal cannabis oil. I have CBD in the morning and THC/CBD at night and only small amounts. It takes some time to work out the right amount that suits you but of an evening the racing thoughts and worthlessness slowly disappeared. I have had instances where I relapsed, but I mostly felt much better. It is not something I now need every day, I can travel overseas without taking it with no withdrawals. But it must be done through a professional, not just a bonnet sale in the car park at the local supermarket car park.

Please, please when you have a chance read my posts.

I attempted suicide three times a year ago after having been put back on SSRI

I have had thoughts of suicide, my whole life as a result of profound childhood trauma.

This was never understood nor diagnosed nor dealt with instead after a very successful career and selling my company I was placed on psychiatric medication.

Despite never ever having attempted suicide before, even though it was a continuous thought I did not act on it until after I had detox from all psychiatric medication, and they put me back on Effexor.

For me, suicidal thoughts, are how I dealt with profound unresolved trauma, as was being incredibly driven and focused and successful in my life.

When I sold my company, the chickens came home to roost and instead of helping me my doctor poisoned me

I have been fortunate to make it profound recovery, heavily documented by my physicians, who are searching for explanations as to how I could possibly have been so sick and have made such a profound recovery in such a short period of time.

They are coming too as I did and as science is now proving that SSRI’s and SNRI’s poison

They can provide an initial placebo effect and thereafter the cognitive blunting can feel like relief, and in fact may well be relief temporarily because blunting cognition, blunt emotions, reducing the intensity of those emotions, but nothing is dealt with until it’s dealt with

At best, these medications can be used to jumpstart a program of bringing the body into alignment what I called the four pillars of alignment

Body mind, spirit, and environment for me. It is the only thing that has worked.

From 14 medication’s 18 months ago, I take nothing now

Demand answers take control of your health peace and good health is your birth right demanded it.