M.A.I.D. If MCI progresses

My wife has dealt with MCI for 7 years and still drives to nearby familiar places. She has not gotten lost nor had an accident. I would not allow her to drive others due to the liability, though. But she has great difficulty with executive function as well. But she is very aware of her cognitive impairment and has never been in denial.

MCI may or may not progress to full dementia, but my wife's progression has been extremely slow. Since MCI is a spectrum, no one can predict his course, unless you see rapid changes or neuro testing shows rapid change. I would certainly discourage assisted suicide without knowing a lot more about his prognosis.

Thanks for reminding me that MCI can be a slow decline as well. I don’t know if he threatens assisted suicide from a place of fear or if he really believes it’s his only solution. I am so grateful though that we have this wonderful doctor working with us to help guide me. Can I ask if you are comfortable driving with your wife. 🙏🏻

First off, hugs and virtual support to you. 🫂
My husband needed to relinquish his driver's license when still in MCI stage (due to scary near miss and worse and worse driving over time).
My husband is not aware that he now has dementia, so it's very challenging to discuss his condition with him.
Since there are several types of dementia, the assisted suicide seems very extreme as a first response to losing his ability to drive.
My husband still operates our tractor on our property, so is afforded a bit of independence.
All the best to you both.

Hi @marketlink
I asked Perplexity.ai about mild cognitive impairment and qualifying for MAID. Here is a brief summary of the information:

Key Takeaways
A person with MCI can apply for MAID if they meet all eligibility criteria, especially decisional capacity and informed consent.
The exclusion for "mental illness as a sole condition" does not generally apply to MCI, as it is considered a neurocognitive disorder, not a mental illness.
Loss of decisional capacity (as MCI progresses) would make a person ineligible for MAID.
In summary: A person with MCI may apply for MAID in Canada if they retain decisional capacity and meet all other legal requirements. If MCI progresses to dementia and capacity is lost, eligibility is lost as well.

My husband, who is a Canadian, has Alzheimer's Disease, since at least 2017, but diagnosed in 2019. He's pretty content and relies on me for everything. When he was younger, he always said he would kill himself if he got a chronic, debilitating disease, but that thought has completely left him.
His cousin in Ontario was diagnosed with MCI, now dementia, a few years ago. She's in the process of applying for MAID. I don't know if she'll qualify, and when I first heard about her decision, I had problems with it. I've come to terms with her decision though. Who am I to tell her what kind of life she must live? She has deep religious faith, and I just wish her the best, whatever happens.

I wish you and your husband the best as well.

Thank you @tsc. He was very depressed when we got the diagnosis a year ago but is living a full life right now. I’m so afraid this will make him spiral again and he gets his worth from acts of service. It’s hard to accept that this is out of my control and no matter how much I pray or try to fix it,I may not be able to. It helps knowing there is a community I can lean on as we move forward.

Hi @marketlink, when my husband couldn't draw a clock with 10 past 11, the neurologist recommended he stop driving. He gave it up graciously. I think he was relieved. Now I wonder if it was wise for him to continue driving with a diagnosis of Alzheimer's. I always drove with him and was constantly telling him what to do. One day he went through a Stop sign because he didn't see it and the next day the neurologist recommended no driving.
Maybe your husband can find fulfilling volunteer work that doesn't involve driving.
If he was primary caregiver to his father with severe dementia, he must be terrified he's going to go down the same road.
Is there a support group available to you nearby? Another woman from Canada posted (in Day Programs, maybe) about the wonderful programs available to her husband, support for her, and free transportation as well.
Again, don't lose heart. If you're in despair your husband will sense it, so you must be strong and reassuring. It's hard, I know, but you will find the strength.

To be perfectly honest, I have not ridden with my wife as driver in a couple of years. But whe she rides with me, she is engaged and very much the "back seat driver". I have offered to ride or drive with her to some other nearby shopping places she might enjoy, and she has declined all offers. I would be comfortable riding with her in those situations of low speed driving. I would not want her to drive on the freeway or far from home. I understand there is a certain amount of liability in what she is doing now, but feel it is balanced by her remaining partially independent. I appreciate your question.

It is a bit of a fine balance. We just bought a new car with all the safety features … lane drift control, auto braking, etc so I feel a bit better, but I’m still not comfortable driving at high speeds or in new settings with him. Thanks for your honesty. I am feeling stronger today and believe his doctors will help guide me… through most of the hard decisions. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻. I’m taking a deep breath and trying to be present.