1. < Loss & Grief

Many Kinds of Grief

Posted by mcden @mcden, Dec 17, 2024

As you age it becomes inevitable that you will lose more people more frequently. I have certainly experienced that pain. But I am grieving for another reason. It's a reason I haven't talked to family and friends about. It somehow seems trivial compared to human loss.
I was a professional musician since I was 15 years old (total of 58 years). Then extremely rapid onset of severe arthritis destroyed my ability to play any instrument - or even to hold them. Music was my life, my living, and a seminal part of my identity. All that remains is
deep grief. I don't know how to adapt. I just needed to tell someone. Thank you.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Loss & Grief Support Group.

mcden | @mcden | 1 day ago

Thank you for your concern joetex. I truly appreciate it. The depression has indeed become much
darker. It is so overwhelming that some days I can barely function. I will definitely seek counselling.
I'm sorry you couldn't express your grief when you needed to. Best of luck to you.

REPLY
1 reply
joetex | @joetex | 1 day ago
In reply to @mcden "Thank you for your concern joetex. I truly appreciate it. The depression has indeed become much..." + (show)
@mcden

Thank you for your concern joetex. I truly appreciate it. The depression has indeed become much
darker. It is so overwhelming that some days I can barely function. I will definitely seek counselling.
I'm sorry you couldn't express your grief when you needed to. Best of luck to you.

Jump to this post

I’m glad to hear you are looking for counseling. I don’t know your thoughts on medication but I am on an antidepressant and know how much help that has been. A good counselor should know when medication would be needed. I hope you find good help.

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markaaron | @markaaron | 20 hours ago
In reply to @naturegirl5 "@mcden If you are close in age to me (I'm 72 yeas old) then we are..." + (show)
@naturegirl5

@mcden If you are close in age to me (I'm 72 yeas old) then we are of the generation where our emotions were diminished and we were told to toughen up. After all, my parents made it through the Great Depression and WWII so what did I have to complain about?

I'd like to think that my ability to find harmony with others at impromptu jam sessions is from the many years I sang in choir as a teen. What kind of music do you like to sing?

Here is a piece that our choir did last Spring. It's representative of some of the music we do and I just fell in love with singing this. I'm Alto 1 and can sometimes sing Soprano 2.

Sainte-Chapelle by Eric Whitacre (we did an all Eric Whitacre program last Spring):

-- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8zlmMuC8og

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Hi Helen,
When I posted I was not allowed to paste in a link but you did here. Why? How?
Thanks,
Mark Smith

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1 reply
Mentor
Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | 19 hours ago
In reply to @markaaron "Hi Helen, When I posted I was not allowed to paste in a link but you..." + (show)
@markaaron

Hi Helen,
When I posted I was not allowed to paste in a link but you did here. Why? How?
Thanks,
Mark Smith

Jump to this post

@markaaron Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. The reason you were not allowed to post a link is because as a new member, there is a moratorium of sorts for the first couple of weeks for you to post a link.
Ginger

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