should I break up with my boyfriend?
Hi,
My boyfriend pressures me to do things I don't want to do... like s3x and stuff. He can also get super mad and angry to the point that he slams things. He's a gentleman and treats me well, other than the pressuring part. I've been starting to lose feeling for him. He's a senior in high school, and I'm a junior. He's graduating in a week and a half. Next year he will be at college, and I want to focus on my senior year and not on a boyfriend. We've been dating for 6 months, and I don't want to break his heart, but I also don't want to lead him on.
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Dump him. Now.
Anyone who tries to force you to do stuff you're uncomfortable with is *not* your friend. He's a selfish user, if not abuser.
You deserve someone who will make you feel better about yourself, not worse.
What Scott said. No one should be pressured into doing anything sexual that they don't want to do and it sounds like he isn't respecting your boundaries, and may have some anger issues as well. Just be honest with him--"You are going off to college and I want to concentrate on my studies senior year so I think we should stop seeing each other."
Hello Young one, I don't feel its my place to tell you to breakup with your boy. However;
I would like to share some in site, Is his feelings hurt when he is pressuring you to do 3x things. If he love you he would not disrespect you in such a low class way. If you want to break up with him without
Hurting his feelings, You could put his love to the test, Try going to the Jewelry store pick out $2000 ring, tell him all those 3x things he wanted you to do, you throught he loved you and wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. He may claim no money, Job etc.
But this will give you a reason to never take his calls again. Many man if they can get what they want free, they are not interested in a future with you, I have seem in my day man have sex with the girl for years, even up to the week before marrying someone else. Leaving the girl friend feeling hurt, used and made a fool of.
@help541 You are the best judge of you. Since your feelings for your boyfriend are very ambivalent primarily because he pressures you to do things you do not want to do then I suggest you talk with a mental health therapist or a trusted adult (probably not your mother at this point in time) and work out how you are feeling. I do not recommend putting his love to the test by by tricking him into the jewelry store ruse. Why? Because it is dishonest. For your own personal growth I think it is better to work out how to best honest with yourself and your boyfriend. This will be helpful to you as you learn to navigate relationships in your future.
One last thought. He will be graduating soon, right? You can certainly break up with him, if you want, by telling him you want "space" while he is away at college. In this way, you are being honest because you do want space and at least he won't be in your daily life. Of course there is summer ahead and I don't know when he plans to leave for college. This is a good time, as I wrote above, to examine your feelings and how you want to proceed.
Finally, assuming you have said "no" many times when your boyfriend pressures you then he does not respect your personal boundaries. I am a woman and I can honestly tell you that from experience you will advance into adulthood as a strong woman if you start now.
Let me know what you think about what I wrote and what you decide, OK?
help541, consider being honest about his pressures and his anger. Both issues would end a relationship for me. It sounds as though you want to break up to be free in your senior year. You protect his heart the best by being straight with him. bless your choice
Hello just thinking of your email and you say ‘he gets super mad and slams things’ but he’s a gentleman, I’m sorry but I don’t think so, that kind of behaviour tends to get worse over time.. anyway best of luck with your decision, remember the world is your oyster ❤️
@help541
My son is 15. If my son treated you like that I would want you to break up with him.
It is a bad sign if a young man pressures someone for sex (verbal manipulation/physical aggression) because that shows disrespect for the other person and their boundaries. That is a huge red flag. It is also bad that your boyfriend has anger issues and doesn’t know how to control them and cope in healthy ways. He is using his anger and slamming things as a way to control you/those around him due to fear. My father was abusive and would do things like this and caused everyone around him to “walk on eggshells “ not to anger him.
Take care of you, break it off with him, and focus on your mental/physical health and self respect so you have an amazing and not emotionally draining senior year of high school! 🙂
Sounds like he's a Dark Triad-very dangerous. Feeds on your self-worth defiencies to lure you in , then, like an emotional vampire will suck you dry. Listen to Sting, Moon Over Bourbon Street and Billy Joel The Stranger who will hit you right beteen the eyes. Get help. Get out.
I feel for you.
It sounds like you already know what you want to do. Follow your gut. To stay with him would be leading him on. So, the kindest thing would be to let him go.
thank you