1. < Just Want to Talk

should I break up with my boyfriend?

Posted by help541 @help541, 1 day ago

Hi,
My boyfriend pressures me to do things I don't want to do... like s3x and stuff. He can also get super mad and angry to the point that he slams things. He's a gentleman and treats me well, other than the pressuring part. I've been starting to lose feeling for him. He's a senior in high school, and I'm a junior. He's graduating in a week and a half. Next year he will be at college, and I want to focus on my senior year and not on a boyfriend. We've been dating for 6 months, and I don't want to break his heart, but I also don't want to lead him on.

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help541 | @help541 | 22 hours ago
In reply to @naturegirl5 "@help541 You are the best judge of you. Since your feelings for your boyfriend are very..." + (show)
@naturegirl5

@help541 You are the best judge of you. Since your feelings for your boyfriend are very ambivalent primarily because he pressures you to do things you do not want to do then I suggest you talk with a mental health therapist or a trusted adult (probably not your mother at this point in time) and work out how you are feeling. I do not recommend putting his love to the test by by tricking him into the jewelry store ruse. Why? Because it is dishonest. For your own personal growth I think it is better to work out how to best honest with yourself and your boyfriend. This will be helpful to you as you learn to navigate relationships in your future.

One last thought. He will be graduating soon, right? You can certainly break up with him, if you want, by telling him you want "space" while he is away at college. In this way, you are being honest because you do want space and at least he won't be in your daily life. Of course there is summer ahead and I don't know when he plans to leave for college. This is a good time, as I wrote above, to examine your feelings and how you want to proceed.

Finally, assuming you have said "no" many times when your boyfriend pressures you then he does not respect your personal boundaries. I am a woman and I can honestly tell you that from experience you will advance into adulthood as a strong woman if you start now.

Let me know what you think about what I wrote and what you decide, OK?

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i broke up with him yesterday, and he took it well.

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2 replies
Scott R L | @scottrl | 21 hours ago
In reply to @help541 "i broke up with him yesterday, and he took it well." + (show)
@help541

i broke up with him yesterday, and he took it well.

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Good for you!

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Mentor
Helen, Volunteer Mentor | @naturegirl5 | 19 hours ago
In reply to @help541 "i broke up with him yesterday, and he took it well." + (show)
@help541

i broke up with him yesterday, and he took it well.

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@help541 Thank you for letting me know. It's possible he may try to come back and try to get you back in his life. If that happens, remind yourself why you broke up with him and stay strong in yourself and what is best for you.

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willows | @willows | 5 hours ago

Remember, you don’t owe him any explanation for your decision to leave him, if you decide to do that. The decision is yours and yours alone.

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