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Severe Health Anxiety
Hello everyone,
New here. A little nervous and scared, but here we go, long story short, I just turned 49 a few weeks ago.
I’ve dealt with anxiety and panic attacks for as long as I’ve been alive – or so it seems – I remember being in kindergarten and having anxiety so bad.
it got to the point that I started misbehaving in school so I would not have to be in a classroom and face being called on to answer questions, or give reports, or do something on the chalkboard, etc.
Start of pandemic, I started having the first symptoms of high blood pressure.
The beginning of the pandemic was the worst time to start having symptoms of anything.
Of course I was blown off and told I was just “anxious“ until I arrived one day, bright red, dizzy, heart pounding in my ear, and my top number was over 160 and my bottom number was over 100. Can’t remember the exact number.
Needless to say, they gave me a pill on the spot, wrote me a prescription, and kept me there for nearly 2 hours to monitor me.
I became obsessed with taking my blood pressure at home.
But the cuffs were often inaccurate, or I was inaccurate with how I used them.
Probably a little bit of both TBH.
Now Whenever I see a blood pressure cuff I immediately freak out.
As they are taking the reading, I pray that everything will come out normal. I even make bargains “please God if you let this be normal I won’t do XYZABC.” Etc.
I don’t even want a bp machine in my house because I will became obsessive.
now that I’m older, this has created an obsession with trying to diagnose every ache & pain. thinking that I can find something early enough so I can prevent passing away from it for as long as possible.
This has made me hypersensitive to every sensation in my body & I become very obsessed with anything that is wrong with me. Just waiting for worst case scenarios.
I try to be proactive to the point that it’s not very healthy.
Sometimes aches and pains are just that.
Even though I can see the logic and the flaws, at the moment, it’s an all consuming fear and anxiety.
I don’t even know what I’m asking here lol
I guess I’m just trying to share how I’m feeling and seeing if anybody Can relate to this in anyway
and what you all do when this type of anxiety comes up and is mighty close to overwhelming you
If you made it this far, thank you so much. I really appreciate you
☀️
* I’ve been on various psychiatric drugs throughout my life, I currently have a 0.5 mg script for Klonopin to use “as needed” and Lamictal and Lexapro, but my doctor wants me to get something different. That is a little more friendly to blood pressure.
So we are reevaluating all of the medication stuff.
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I laughed because I relate so much to what you said.
About being scared to take prescribed meds.
There was a time I would only buy pills that were individually wrapped – OTC pills -
because I was scared of them being tampered with. Even though deep down inside, I knew the likeliness was basically zero,
remembering that horrible Tylenol story from childhood..
I’m happy that I’m not as severe as I used to be, but it still creeps in there.
It didn’t help that when I was diagnosed with my high blood pressure they kept telling me that it was “only anxiety“
I found out that my blood pressure that day was 190/113
I was in a hypertensive crisis that they medicated on the spot in the doctors office
Ever since that whole ordeal, I’ve been very mistrustful and even scared to talk about having anxiety because I don’t want a legitimate health problem to be chalked up to “anxiety” for months I was having high blood pressure migraines at night that they were medicating with tramadol, and to think of how bad it could’ve gone
Good times indeed
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1 ReactionThank you for sharing all of this with me. I definitely relate to a lot of what you said and what your son is going through as well.
I started taking magnesium taurate, vegan omega-3 69, and “bio beat“ organic beetroot extract pills – only because trying to drink more than 2 cups of beet juice a day was pure torture, not to mention very high sugar content-
I did find a high-quality CBD that I trust.
I’m sooo sensitive to thc so medical marijuana did the exact opposite to me. It made me incredibly paranoid and I ended up in the ER one time. Not a good time.
So it took me a while to find a CBD that I could trust.
It helps when I’m having certain types of body pains or anxieties
Right now I’m looking for a good therapist that is familiar with anxiety disorders and PTSD
I’m so happy that your son has you to advocate for him and support him
When I was growing up, it was basically unheard of for a child to have any type of psychiatric illness. Especially anxiety and panic attack attacks.
But I remember them quite clearly inaccurately going all the way back to kindergarten. I just couldn’t express properly, but my father did tell me that he remembers me coming home from school telling him that “my heart was beating so fast, but I wasn’t running” & it started making sense to him as I got older. That all of the things my teacher’s complained about were all directly related to anxiety and full-blown panic attack attacks.
He apologized profusely, but I didn’t blame him. Things were much different in the 80s versus now. Thank goodness.
Thank you again for your kindness and for sharing all of this with me. It really helps me feel better and like I’m not truly alone. I know I’m not the only one going through this, but sometimes I just feel alone.
Sending love and good vibes to you and your family
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3 ReactionsSo many of the medications for anxiety and depression have negative side effects. My doctor prescribed Lexapro for me but the precautions reference heart disease, blood thinners and glaucoma, all of which apply to me, so I refused to take it. I recently began CBT and hope it will be of benefit. It pretty elementary so far ; I should have begun something like this decades ago. At my advanced age I wonder if I am flexible enough to modify my thinking and negativity. I focus too much on my present health conditions and am in a state of perpetual stress. My obsessive fear is that I'll become seriously ill, incapacitated and dependent.
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1 ReactionTo @starbryte
I suffer from severe anxiety and have not been able to get any relief even though I have tried at least 8 or 9 different medications in the past 8 months. I also suffer from protracted withdrawal from improperly stopping using Effexor. The Effexor was great for the 30 years I was on it but I foolishly decided I didn’t need it anymore. At least 4 Providers have also tried to reintroduce me to Effexor without success. Improperly stopping the Effexor ruined my life and my husband’s life. It is taking such a huge toll on us. There is no light at the end of the tunnel.
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1 ReactionI was prescribed Lexipro and then Celexa but neither were a good match for me.