There is much wisdom in this line: "do not let lactose control your life/decision making".

Many of us burdened with severe stomach issues need to make mature, deliberate, sober decisions about what we should be putting in our body vs. what we think we need based on our relationship with food and societal expectations.

That said, on the topic of this line:
"My gut gives me grief with sour cream, yogurt and cream cheese. So I can't eat yogurt for the good probiotics!! (I loved my greek)"

Does normal milk from Lactaid or other lactose-free milk give you issues? What about a hard cheese like boring old cheddar? Since you didn't mention these specifically, I wonder if your issue isn't the lactose, but perhaps additives in sour cream, yogurt, and cream cheese. (I think my local Whole Foods also sells a lactose-free sour cream if you want to run that experiment).

As someone else mentioned, thickeners found in yogurt, cream cheese, and pretty much ALL milk alternatives (guar/xanthum/carob bean GUM) are undigested by you and digested by your gut flora instead.

My instinct is that you may need to do some more experimentation to figure out exactly what the culprit is.