39 year old brother

My 55-year-old son was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer stage 4 in October '24. Fortunately he was slender and very fit. He's been getting chemo since early November and is tolerating it well. His hair fell out and he experiences fatigue. The cancer did a walkabout to his liver. His condition is terminal and the chemo is buying him time. He has a 10-year-old daughter who knows he has cancer but doesn't know how bad it is. In the US there is a non-profit group called Wonders and Worries who offer therapy for children living with a seriously ill parent. My son is still able to do the things he really wants to do and is contemplating a road trip with his daughter this summer. I experience profound sorrow but am able to model a good attitude for my family's sake. This is a very hard road to travel.

I’m so sorry , my husband 67 was diagnosed the same He was very fit and positive, he passed after 5 months

brad2531 - that’s wonderful that you are able it seems to not let your sadness be reflected too much. I’m sure you are hurting immensely and maybe a little scared like my husband. Don’t be afraid to show your empathy, but at the same time if you can keep yourself together I’ll be frank, it’s helpful. I’m 67 and dx at stage 2 in 2022, and then stage 4 shortly after surgery and first run of chemo. It moved to my liver and got that radiated, and after 6 months (same time radiation wears out) my cancer is coming back very aggressively and we just got the news yesterday and my husband in very bad shape. But this weekend I did the 5k PancCan walk for cancer (in the rain!), so I’m enjoying life until the end. I like what your son is doing with his daughter and that’s a very selfless thing to do and I pray they have a great trip. I pray that your son tolerates chemo as long as he can and continues to leave a good legacy for his daughter.

How are you doing shelleyderish? I recall your dear husband passed away last year; at the time you mentioned he had some cardiac issues that originated during his childhood. Chemo can be very difficult on the heart. I have an underlying (congenital) electrically based cardiac arrhythmia and when I was on 2 very strong chemotherapy types, it caused a lot of arrhythmia. Luckily I found an excellent cardiologist who specialized in those electrically based arrhythmias and got a good med to stop it; currently Im on only 1 mild chemo (gemzar) following my radiation treatment and I’ll either go into a clinical trial (it’s 50-50 chance you’ll actually get the target drug (6236) or go back on the abraxane which caused neuropathy since my numbers going up aggressively again. Not a lot of pretty choices there! My dad many years ago died after 8 months after we could see he had something serious after his tremendous weight loss and and 5 months after he was actually diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. The hurting you are going through must be overwhelming. Please find compassionate comfort in family, friends, and some type of faith, and don’t forget this forum where you can always receive understanding and comfort. God bless.

Thank you for your kind words. He did have cardio issues and had a cardiologist involved And aHemotologist ,as he had blood clotts from unknown sources Cancer itself can cause that also chemo. However he only had 1 chemo treatment before 1 of 3 heart attacks. We also have the tumour testing done to se if the mutations were any that targeted or trial drug available. Unfortunately there was not for his Mutations. As you know you learn so much over this process some a little to late. We wanted to have a biopsy on his pancreas when a mass was detected 2 years previous. We were told NO it was probably a cyst and that it would be monitored with MRI every 6 months and if it grew it would be biopsied then… unfortunately , when it grew we were told they never seen anything grow so fast and it was to late to do anything.
Know we know ..Listening to that advise by gastroenterologist was our 1st mistake 😢

@mnewland99 I am so sorry to hear the bad news.

Thank you, Joy. It’s always unsettling to get bad news. My theory is that only reason I could be on gemzar since January of this year was due to the fact that I had radiation treatment last October. 6 months after last radiation treatment was April 14 and then I took 1 session off to move. Gemzar alone was not enough to keep my cancer at bat is my theory. I had a guardant 360 test that only showed very minimal evidence of TP53 that was noted as most likely benign. Probably, for now only choice is to add back abraxane - maybe at a lower dose than before. There’s no way my current Dr will do that - he’s legitimately fixated on me going on the incoming trial for 6236 which doesn’t address TP53, so I once again have to go shopping for a new oncologist. Thank you for your kind sentiments and please keep me in your prayers.

Yes, it’s a battle of having cancer that’s difficult to beat unless you have the BRCA or something similar mutations and dealing with drs who are not gods and make plenty of mistakes! As cited many times in this site in order to last long you must be vigilant and advocate for yourself and have a faith to keep your strength. I got the bracelet below from doing the 5K PANCAN walk this weekend. My son joined me in the rain, no less but rain didn’t matter because I had been dying (ha ha) to do this walk for the last 2 years to hopefully raise money for research. I encourage everyone in this site who feels able to do these events to raise awareness and money for pancreatic research. It’s a national event.

It's a horribly aggressive disease, and of course I am very scared. I told my granddaughter "we will be brave, and that doesn't mean we aren't scared". I am sorry you and your husband are having to go through this. My mantra is a quote from Winston Churchill : when you're going through hell, keep going. Continue to enjoy your life as long as you can, and best wishes for your endeavor!

@mnewland99 You are always in my prayers.