Aging Alone—Finding Strength and Connection
As we grow older, many of us face the reality of living alone or being without a strong support system. Let’s talk about it—how do you stay connected with others, maintain your independence, and find joy in this stage of life? Are there communities, activities, or personal practices that have made a difference for you? Let’s share ideas, experiences, and encouragement to remind ourselves that we’re never truly alone.
Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.
I did. It was 45 minutes . I just lost my list of conditions. Since it was posted today..no worries.
From Mayo connect.
You are very kind. I'm wondering if I wrote that late at night when I couldn't sleep. I recognize it, but it's just a day later, and I'm in a better place. I appreciate your suggestions. I have planned to visit assisted or senior living facilities, but I have a very low house payment and I would like to pass my house along to my son, at least until I am forced to sell it to qualify for medicaid for nursing home if I have to.....I make a few dollars more than the medicaid allowance for Arkansas which is a very low income state. A friend had to move to Denver to qualify for a medicaid senior housing, because the income level is higher. I did get out more before arthritis made walking so painful. I still try to run one errand a day just to leave the house. I went to a senior enrichment class for a few years, too...but it started so early and with sleeping problems and digestive problems, I had to stick around the house early till I'm sure gut issues don't arise. (Sounds like excuses but this is what aging does). Morning church is not possible. I have gone to a Presbyterian Church book study group, but again, the arthritis pain in my hips sitting in a folding chair...even with a cushion became uncomfortable. This sounds so negative....but actually, my grandson called me this morning and asked if I wanted to go out to lunch or brunch. We did. He was so sweet....eating out costs me sometimes more than I need to spend and he doesn't realize that. But it was so worth being with him. So even though I am often as sad as I sounded in what I posted, a good morning like today makes it worthwhile. Because my son is going through his second divorce and is stuck in a house he hasn't been able to sell and isn't suitable for me, I am sticking here until something changes for him. We may have to combine homes (despite the fact I only have a 2 BR) One day at a time...sometime a good day and sometimes not so good. Thank you for your encouragement. Blessings to you for caring for your dad and condolences for the loss of your brother....TOO young. My son is 62, and I do worry about his health. Maggy
@maggybird
Maggy,
I am so glad to hear that a new day brought refreshment! And you are not being negative, I have seen first hand that the barriers to getting out and joining the day early and for as long as you would have once done, are very real and common for us as we age! It is hard to find as many offerings of fun and interesting things to do later in the day (but not too late!). Several times, I have thought that I had found activities my dad would enjoy, but they start way too early in the morning, across town (so add travel time in morning traffic)—frustrating. Our new library does have some great afternoon offerings though—that only last about an hour to an hour and a half each time, so that is great. I have a friend who lives part time here and part time in Italy. As she ages, she has been spending more time in Italy. In her village there, people grocery shop every day, walking to the market and stopping for coffee, etc, always chatting with people along the way. A slower pace where connection doesn’t have to always be scheduled and planned. Sounds so nice!
Hope you have a beautiful day today!
Oh, dear. How I envy you having a grandson.
I have no grandchildren & feel bad about it everyday.
I read a lot & volunteer but still miss my husband every day.
I think maybe there is something I am still meant to do, so I am hanging in there. Maybe your grandson is one of your
purposes...... & you have to look for others???
What happens in Switzerland? K
Yes, I know I am fortunate. At 16, he is less interested in hanging out with an 80 year old, but he does like to go out for lunch or dinner, so it gives me an occasional chance to have company to go out with. I understand about missing your husband. Mine has been gone for almost 14 years and there is not a day that goes by that I don't miss him. We were both introverts and we needed each other. I absolutely know that I've lasted this long because of his needs. In Switzerland, from what I read, you have three visits with a mental health person and each time you can talk about your decision. If and when you are ready, you are given a heavy sedative and have a quiet goodbye. Family is welcome to be with you. You don't have to have an illness, but they will do some talk therapy to be sure you are sure you want to end it.
Such a great post. Even if you have children and grandchildren, it doesn’t mean they will look after you. They all have their own lives and priorities. We’re blessed if we figure in that.
I’m so sad when some people try to guilt others into looking after them. There’s no obligation. It doesn’t work.
I chose not to marry or have kids. My choice. I had a wonderful fulfilling career and nieces who counted me as a second mum when they were growing up. I accepted I’d need to count on fending for myself when I retired. Stage 4 cancer at 58 led to an early retirement at 60.
I’ve knowingly accumulated financial resources to sustain me (if Trump’s tariffs and global down turn haven’t decimated them).
I haven’t counted on family help. Fortunately I’m still close to 2 of my 4 nieces and their husbands. They’ve been wonderful during my stage 4 cancer recovery. Yet it’s been my very close friends (6) who’ve been my main emotional support.
I don’t want to be a burden to anyone. I do my best to keep fit and healthy. I am still - for now.
I truly dread becoming incapacitated and reliant on others. I know that will be a total game changer.
I love this post for raising and showing the possibilities. Thank you.
Beautiful inspiring spirit!
I understand completely. I am alone and do not seem to make friends though I am not difficult, but too well read for many and not interested in gossip or the usual chatterings. No patience for fools, I suppose, I like sardonic, smart humour and words, walks and brain power. But I also look a bit strange due to surgery years ago that left my face slightly unpleasant and just a bit offbalance. People can't get past an aberration, and either embrace it or repel it.
Hi Robert,
That was too bad about the problem that you had with your computer that cost you $100! I have had my computer for many years and it works perfect. I bought it from Puget Systems in Auburn WA. They offer free tech support for life with every computer. Plus they mail you the computer at no charge. They make them so good that they hardly ever have to be repaired. When you do have a problem they can usually fix it online. I haven't had to have my computer repaired in over 8 years and I use it constantly! You might want to consider them for your next computer. Just do a Google search for them.
PML