How do you, as a parent, deal with the anger? Son has sarcoma

I think that is a normal reaction to a scary diagnosis. Last year one on my older grandkids (a 20 something) was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. She was so angry and I couldn’t blame her.
It’s just that it makes it hard for us to know what to do or say. 😥

My daughter, now 24, had a complete synovectomy in her left knee in Dec 2023. In March 2024, they had to do a knee replacement as the chondrosarcoma infiltrated her knee. She had 3 seedings around the knee in Sept and Nov 2024. She also had a Staph infection, which took months to beat. In January 2025, a CT scan showed it had metastasized to her lung. It was removed, and she also received a new prosthesis. She is having her next CT scan in early June. Her cancer is very aggressive; we do not get time to adjust! Chondrosarcoma doesn't respond to chemotherapy or radiation, it is "detect and destroy."
She manages her diagnosis as well as you can imagine. She took a sabbatical leave this year and will return to the University next year. As a family, we stand together, but it is VERY difficult. We haven't got an idea what is lying ahead. There is not much literature on the destruction path of Chondrosarcomas especially now that it has metastasized.

How are you coping @bkayk? And your son? My heart goes out to your family! Not knowing is another kind of death sentence. The fact that my daughter can't be a carefree young woman with unlimited dreams of her future is so unfair! Her father is a Neurosurgeon, and I am a pharmacist, and we can do NOTHING to cure her. My whole outlook on life changed. If people complain about nonsense, I want to hit them! Everything seems insignificant against my daughter's cancer. My priorities have drastically changed as well. Why couldn't it rather have happened to me? I had a normal knee replacement in 2022, and everything went smoothly. My knee is fantastic. Why!!!!

@elmarie, being a young adult diagnosed with cancer can be lonely. There is a virtual support group for young people with cancer led by social workers at Mayo Clinic, Arizona. Your daughter is welcome to join. She doesn't have to be a Mayo patient.

They meet the first Thursday of every month. The next meeting is on June 5. See details here:
- Young Adult Cancer Support Group Meeting: Y.A. Me Too https://connect.mayoclinic.org/event/aya-adolescents-and-young-adults-support-group-meeting-y-a-me-too-1-5d5a2cb5/

I just wanted to express my sincere feelings of support for anyone who is dealing with Sarcoma !!!

It's the worst cancer out there and is increasingly prevalent amongst young adults. Soft tissue Sarcoma can grow right back after it has been surgically removed, and can baffle Sarcoma Specialists !!!

I know, because my daughter who was 29 went to the ER on December 26th, 2024 and passed away from Sarcoma and its complications on March 6th, 2025 - 71 days and 2 invasive neurological surgeries between her shoulder blades to remove the Sarcoma tumors from the under side of her T2 vertebrae !!!

Sarcoma SUCKS !!!

God be with you all that are dealing with Sarcoma !!!

Absolutely recommend you need to get a counselor who can help you get through these difficult times.

As a parent of a 29 year old Ewings Sarcoma (bone) patient, I understand your anger and pain. After 14 cycles of chemo at a major cancer center, and some hope in Feb. this year, when he got a good 3 month post chemo checkup, there was hope. Unfortunately, after being back to work for only 2 weeks, my son woke up semi-paralyzed and 3 brain tumors were discovered. Six weeks after that, 2 new brain tumors were discovered. The sarcoma specialist told my daughter-in-law that Ewings Sarcoma rarely spreads to the brain. Unfortunately, in this case, it has. All our lives feel like a living nightmare. I am truly sorry for your loss. It certainly isn't fair.

Mom here- my son is 19 and has synovial sarcoma. Oddly I have no anger. I don’t know why, and I certainly don’t want to minimize your anger. But for me, two things happened- first just a massive adrenaline kick and jumped into “go mode”. It kept me in action mode rather than feeling. And, second, I also think the lack of anger is from seeing my stepfather - diagnosed 20 years ago with a rare cancer and given a 1% chance of survival of 1 year. He went to an amazing cancer center and He’s with us 20 years later. I know that will not be the case for everyone, but I’m determined to ensure my son gets the best care and doctors- and then trust that beyond that, it is out of my hands. It’s all we can do- and hope for the best. It is possible. That said, we also purposefully did not get a prognosis for him- I read enough to sink real fast, and thenjust shut off computer and walked away. We Hope for the best. But accept the worst could happen. Cancer treatments can change drastically in a short time. Hugs to you all.

I want to add- that although I don’t have anger about his cancer- it is no freaking walk in the park. I’m exhausted. Emotionally this is so hard on him- and to see him sick or emotionally down is incredibly hard. I can put these doctors in front of him and they can diagnose and treat at the cellular level- but how can I care for the emotional side of him? He already struggles with some emotional issues. And His bad days are ours. But sometimes, I do admit I’m mad at him. I hate to say that. He’s at the rough age of 19 and I have to let him make some choices. And that’s hard when I don’t agree (stopping a cycle short because he’s sick, or refusing something). I want him to fight through brutal sickness- and sometimes he can’t. That’s hard. And it all freaking sucks- brutally. But I guess I try to carry him when he can’t. Guide him to good choices but respect he’s the one going through it all. So Let him decide some things too. And when days are good- I melt and rest. No time for anger about cancer- it’s here -and it’s real, and it’s a bad one. i just feel the roller coaster of it all. Im also determined to have good family time mixed in. To make either a crappy situation tolerable and memorable, or create memories if the worst happens. None of its easy- just so many emotions- the one and only thing I can chose to hold on to is hope- while accepting the reality too.