Taking care of "present you"

I think this is a very charming idea--and I love the idea of "future me" as someone who certainly isn't worrying about me now!
However, I am not that great at living in the moment, so I've devised a kind of compromise. I am living in 3 month periods--that is a season. I let myself have goals and aspirations for a 90 day period, then re-evaluate. It's fun too as I see what the flavor of each season might be--guests, gardening, holidays, tasks. I write it all down in a notebook. And I'm strict! Instead of going on a long riff of "who-knows-how-I'll be-in-April" I just don't plan anything!
Thank you--enjoyed your post.

It is 2:23AM. I am laying awake in hospital bed after my radical nephrectomy Friday afternoon. My thoughts and prayers are with each of you as you/we navigate our journeys. May somehow someway you find peace along your way

I live in today because that’s all we have! I was a planner, organizer, scheduler and facilitator my entire life having a successful career and raising 2 wonderful kids. After a stage IV kidney cancer diagnosis, I spent months in my ‘world’ trying to figure out my life now. After months of being very scared and praying a lot, I was given the gift of realizing today is all we have. I look to the future to plan travel in between dr/hospital visits. Other than that, I take moments to enjoy the moment I’m in. This was very hard at first but after a year, I’m calmer and happier! My grown kids like it too:)
Prayers for all of you that you find peace.

I COMPLETELY AGREE, Being Mindfully and Sensory and emotionally in the moment sucks the energy out of Cancer as it feeds on uncertainty and stress. Stay in the moment and appreciate as best you can.xxx

And how are you now @koke ? I hope you are well. I have seen the word prayer in different posts a few times. Yourd is the first time I read "praying" and "prayer" used in a single post. Let me pray for you too, and the others who have been in this journey for years now and those of us who "recently joined" this brotherhood. Peace and hope to all, enjoy the gift of life day, and look forward to many more years to come.

Hello! How am I now? And when did I write the above post? This is Koke and I wrote that post on 1/13/24. And all is true and continues to be true. I guess thoughts about prayer and believing is defined by each person. I know how deep I rely on prayer and my trust is in my higher power allows me to handle my cancer in a way that I didn't know was possible. But we all have our own way and my way (which is such a gift) is praying and strongly believing that my God will help me through. I don't think he can save any of us but he can help guide and give us strength and courage. Isn't that all we have? Oh yes, those drugs but other than that?
In Dec/24 my cancer returned back to lymph nodes near my lungs. I have been VERY sick with one 5 day (near death) stay in the hospital with sepsis and the other fighting a battle of pancreatitis (going on month 2) caused by my immunotherapy drug. I really thought I was going to beat this cancer and now I don't think any of us can....but we can buy time.....time to find another drug ..... another treatment .... another way to prolong my life so I can see my (adult) kids again and my 3 grandchildren. That is my goal.
Prayers for all of us. This disease is just shitty....but I believe laughing, crying, being calm and stress free and enjoying moments in every day beats the cancer down. That I believe is true and gives me a basis to start each day. Prayers for all of us to stay healthy, spread smiles, to enjoy daily life and to laugh. Koke

Thank you for this update, @koke . I was also near death many years ago, when my daughter was about 9 months old. I prayed to God, begged Him to let me live a few years more. I wanted my daughter to see me and know me for a longer period of time than I saw and knew my own father who passed away when I was 4 years old.
That prayer was answered for more than I hoped for. My daughter has now a 9 y.o. son and 7-1/2 y.o. daughter. A doctor friend told me that he knew of only three people who had the same sickness as I had - 1 died, the other became a vegetable, and I lived able to walk.
Others here in our "Prostate Cancer Brotherhood," may or may not believe in the power of prayers; I hope many do. You and I are the same -- we want to see our grandchildren grow. Both our prayers were answered before, and can be answered again. But regardless of how long or how short we live this side of eternity, there is something we HOPE for that will never fail. On the other side of the "river," there will be no more pain or tears, for these things have passed away.
Best wishes to you and your family. Let's smile and share a laugh with this one (see attached).

I don't want to offer anyone false hope, but sometimes you can come back, at least for a while.

I remember being in hospital in fall 2021 when it felt like one domino was falling after another over the first two months: stage-4 cancer diagnosis, paralysed from my ribs down (paraplegia), 10+ hours of emergency spinal surgery, post-op spinal radiation, prolonged digestive-system shutdown (ileus) and I/V feeding, stomach suction tube through my nose, temporary diabetes and insulin shots, serious blood clots (DVT), pneumonia and partial lung collapse (atelectasis), fluid build-up in my back (seroma), and hot flushes etc from starting ADT and Erleada. It was a rare day that I wasn't slid from my hospital bed onto a stretcher and wheeled out for at least one test or scan.

But then they finally decided they had stuff under control enough to move me from a critical-care bed to a bed in the rehab centre, and I started a tough 6-week training regimen of rebuilding my atrophied muscles, kindling my appetite for food again (I'd lost 40 lb), learning to live/cook/maneuver etc from a wheelchair, starting to stand holding parallel bars, etc etc.

So somehow, I made it back. I had a few more smaller health crises after I went home, but gradually I stabilised and got, maybe, 70–80% of my old health and mobility back, which felt like a miracle.

All the firsts — first time back home, first time sharing a bed with my spouse after 3½ months, first time seeing my neighbourhood again (as my spouse pushed me around), first time walking 20 metres outside with a walker (felt like a marathon), first time at a restaurant, first time driving a car, etc — felt like victories.

I see a lot of anger and resentment from forum members here, and I fully understand it. I feel that way sometimes too, and still am adjusting to the fact my cancer will never be cured. But when you've been down there, and then granted a second chance, the primary feeling isn't anger but joy and gratitude.

Low energy sometimes? Hot flushes? Urge incontinence? Sexual dysfunction? Gynecomastia? Bah! I can deal with those, as long as I get to walk down the street on my own two legs again and hear the birds sing for yet another spring. 🐦

@northoftheborder I too have been there, and been granted a second chance many years ago. (Although for a different disease.)
I was told later that had my hospital admission been delayed by an hour or even less, I would have been dead. My doctor friend told me when I was out of the hospital that he knew of only 3 cases with my disease: 1 died, the other became a vegetable, and I -- I survived and left a normal life.)
When I learned that I have prostate cancer, I was sad but more hopeful than when I had my first major health issue mentioned above. Survival rate prostate cancer is very high, not "1 in 3" as in my previous experience. We can all be really thankful with the treatments available to us.
I am very happy for you, not because of you went through (that's a lot), but because of what you are now -- an inspiration and source of encouragement for those of new in this PCa journey.
Best regards to you & your family.

I left a normal life, I meant to say. (Not "left.")