Taking care of "present you"

I don't want to offer anyone false hope, but sometimes you can come back, at least for a while.

I remember being in hospital in fall 2021 when it felt like one domino was falling after another over the first two months: stage-4 cancer diagnosis, paralysed from my ribs down (paraplegia), 10+ hours of emergency spinal surgery, post-op spinal radiation, prolonged digestive-system shutdown (ileus) and I/V feeding, stomach suction tube through my nose, temporary diabetes and insulin shots, serious blood clots (DVT), pneumonia and partial lung collapse (atelectasis), fluid build-up in my back (seroma), and hot flushes etc from starting ADT and Erleada. It was a rare day that I wasn't slid from my hospital bed onto a stretcher and wheeled out for at least one test or scan.

But then they finally decided they had stuff under control enough to move me from a critical-care bed to a bed in the rehab centre, and I started a tough 6-week training regimen of rebuilding my atrophied muscles, kindling my appetite for food again (I'd lost 40 lb), learning to live/cook/maneuver etc from a wheelchair, starting to stand holding parallel bars, etc etc.

So somehow, I made it back. I had a few more smaller health crises after I went home, but gradually I stabilised and got, maybe, 70–80% of my old health and mobility back, which felt like a miracle.

All the firsts — first time back home, first time sharing a bed with my spouse after 3½ months, first time seeing my neighbourhood again (as my spouse pushed me around), first time walking 20 metres outside with a walker (felt like a marathon), first time at a restaurant, first time driving a car, etc — felt like victories.

I see a lot of anger and resentment from forum members here, and I fully understand it. I feel that way sometimes too, and still am adjusting to the fact my cancer will never be cured. But when you've been down there, and then granted a second chance, the primary feeling isn't anger but joy and gratitude.

Low energy sometimes? Hot flushes? Urge incontinence? Sexual dysfunction? Gynecomastia? Bah! I can deal with those, as long as I get to walk down the street on my own two legs again and hear the birds sing for yet another spring. 🐦

I don't want to offer anyone false hope, but sometimes you can come back, at least for a while.

I remember being in hospital in fall 2021 when it felt like one domino was falling after another over the first two months: stage-4 cancer diagnosis, paralysed from my ribs down (paraplegia), 10+ hours of emergency spinal surgery, post-op spinal radiation, prolonged digestive-system shutdown (ileus) and I/V feeding, stomach suction tube through my nose, temporary diabetes and insulin shots, serious blood clots (DVT), pneumonia and partial lung collapse (atelectasis), fluid build-up in my back (seroma), and hot flushes etc from starting ADT and Erleada. It was a rare day that I wasn't slid from my hospital bed onto a stretcher and wheeled out for at least one test or scan.

But then they finally decided they had stuff under control enough to move me from a critical-care bed to a bed in the rehab centre, and I started a tough 6-week training regimen of rebuilding my atrophied muscles, kindling my appetite for food again (I'd lost 40 lb), learning to live/cook/maneuver etc from a wheelchair, starting to stand holding parallel bars, etc etc.

So somehow, I made it back. I had a few more smaller health crises after I went home, but gradually I stabilised and got, maybe, 70–80% of my old health and mobility back, which felt like a miracle.

All the firsts — first time back home, first time sharing a bed with my spouse after 3½ months, first time seeing my neighbourhood again (as my spouse pushed me around), first time walking 20 metres outside with a walker (felt like a marathon), first time at a restaurant, first time driving a car, etc — felt like victories.

I see a lot of anger and resentment from forum members here, and I fully understand it. I feel that way sometimes too, and still am adjusting to the fact my cancer will never be cured. But when you've been down there, and then granted a second chance, the primary feeling isn't anger but joy and gratitude.

Low energy sometimes? Hot flushes? Urge incontinence? Sexual dysfunction? Gynecomastia? Bah! I can deal with those, as long as I get to walk down the street on my own two legs again and hear the birds sing for yet another spring. 🐦

Hi,
You went through a lot! Good for you for getting to the point of even driving a car again! You must have had God on your side the whole time. I think that's wonderful.

What is urge incontinence? I have incontinence but I'm not sure what kind it is. I just know it's inconvenient and can be embarrassing and expensive with the high cost of those pads.

You did mention that your cancer will never be cured. However, with God all things are possible and it looks like he's already helped you a lot so maybe your cancer will be cured! It certainly will when you die and go to Heaven. My husband had cancer and died last July. However, I know he's out of pain and up in Heaven with God and Jesus and eventually we'll be together again.

I'm so glad things have worked out well for you or at least better than they were.
PML

I had Breast Cancer years ago. So far so good! NEVER EVER GIVE UP THE FIGHT!!

Thank you for this update, @koke . I was also near death many years ago, when my daughter was about 9 months old. I prayed to God, begged Him to let me live a few years more. I wanted my daughter to see me and know me for a longer period of time than I saw and knew my own father who passed away when I was 4 years old.
That prayer was answered for more than I hoped for. My daughter has now a 9 y.o. son and 7-1/2 y.o. daughter. A doctor friend told me that he knew of only three people who had the same sickness as I had - 1 died, the other became a vegetable, and I lived able to walk.
Others here in our "Prostate Cancer Brotherhood," may or may not believe in the power of prayers; I hope many do. You and I are the same -- we want to see our grandchildren grow. Both our prayers were answered before, and can be answered again. But regardless of how long or how short we live this side of eternity, there is something we HOPE for that will never fail. On the other side of the "river," there will be no more pain or tears, for these things have passed away.
Best wishes to you and your family. Let's smile and share a laugh with this one (see attached).

LOVE all the positive thoughts reminding us all to stay in the present. I often think we are a blessed group of people (I know a little backwards) that were given that piece of paper knowing saying 'we are sick' determining our end on this earth is someone defined by our 'diagnosis'. I hear us all say that is a bund of bullshit! And it is! Whether right or not, we can determine who we are today. This includes our mindfulness to living and enjoy moments in every day. AND there are so so many moments to grasp hold of and love. Enjoy today my friends.

Very difficult, no real family here, just my wonderful ❤️ husband and I.
I'm truly blessed. But I feel like a burden, I feel this way! I'm a very social person but living isolated is very bad for me!

Adding, took Nortriptyline, bad sside effects, memory!!! TERRIBLE, THAT IS ONE BIG SIDE EFFECT!! DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!