1. < Depression & Anxiety

Best "Senior" Antidepressants

Posted by briarrose @briarrose, Oct 29, 2023

I just posted a question re: weaning off Paxil 10 mg. and with my reported "brain fog" forgot to ask a further question. Sorry about that.
I am in search of a new antidepressant for my severe anxiety and depression. I was on mirtazapine 30 mg. for 22 years and found through GeneSight I was not metabolizing it at all. Thus the switch to Paxil 10 mg. which is not really working well for me. I am a female, 68 years old and sensitive to all medications. Any thoughts on what is tolerated the best for seniors? I will run this by my psychiatric nurse practitioner of course but reaching out to others for thoughts.

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scain | @scain | Apr 4 10:33pm
In reply to @mrmacabre "I really don't understand it, my wife and I are both in our 60's. I've been..." + (show)
@mrmacabre

I really don't understand it, my wife and I are both in our 60's. I've been retired on SSDI for almost ten years now, and she still works full time. Our kids both have families of their own, but they have both gone above and beyond to help us in more than one way ever since I had to retire. We took a huge financial hit when I did that, and we had to live with our son and his family for 2 years, but that's what families do for one another.
In 2001, my wife and I had to fly down to LA from where we live, north of Seattle, and move her mom up to Washington state so she could move in with us because my mother in law's 2nd husband bailed on her, and she couldn't afford to live on her own.
So we flew down there, rented a truck, drove up to Crestline, CA where she was staying with her other daughter, and loaded her stuff. Then we drove over 100 miles to my MIL's sister's house to pick up some more stuff, loaded that into the truck, and started driving north on interstate 5. Just to make things more interesting, my MIL was bringing her car, which had a manual transmission. By the first time we stopped, my wife didn't want her mom to be alone during the trip, so I had to drive her car, and my wife drove the truck with her mom in the other seat because she couldn't drive a stick.
Long story short(too late) we moved her up here to Mt. Vernon, Wa. and she moved in with us. Not long after this happened, our son and his wife and their 18 month old daughter had to also move in with us because the business he and someone else had started went under, and they had to declare bankruptcy and sell their home.
So at one point, we had 4 generations living under one roof. It wasn't easy, but we made it work. Our son moved out after a couple of years, and has been very successful ever since, and my MIL lived with us for over 11 years before she passed away in 2013.
This is what a family does for each other.

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I am actually finding comments about our adult children to not be helpful now that we are old and need some help comforting. I thought that it was just my 2 kids so hearing that other people have this problem too helps me to understand that I raised them right and it is just some common society thing. I don't have any answer and I also think will they just feel guilty when we are gone! It is heartbreaking but at least know that you arent alone with this dilemma.

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briarrose | @briarrose | Apr 5 9:23am

Yes, your family situation, although difficult, proves what a family should do for one another.
Lovely to hear it...all families should be like yours! Wishing you continued family bonds and family love.

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blueh2o | @blueh2o | Apr 6 11:51am

I’m 69 years old. Have been taking Paxil/generic for several years now after a five year pause. The dosage was 10mg, recently upgraded to 20mg. Feeling better, as the sadness and anxiety had increased. The one side affect is I dream a lot more. I’ve always been one to dream but it is much more now. I do hope you find a medication that works for you. Also being around dogs seems to help the anxiety. My family has several dogs, golden doodle, English golden retriever and two herding type dogs. Wishing You well.

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n2blues2002 | @n2blues2002 | Apr 6 12:21pm
In reply to @briarrose "mrmacabre: Truer works have never been spoken. When we were growing up family was everything. We..." + (show)
@briarrose

mrmacabre: Truer works have never been spoken. When we were growing up family was everything. We all lived close to one another, Sunday dinners, big holiday gatherings with immediate and extended family and personally I called my mother just about every day to check in on her.
Today? These 30s and 40s adult "children" are so self-absorbed and are completely clueless on being there for their senior parents - especially when help is needed due to sickness or other issues where a parent needs some assistance. It is not asking too much...they SHOULD be more than willing and able to help their parents. But it is like pulling teeth. It's like only their lives matter at their age - and the heck with the "aging" Mom or Dad. Yes, social media to blame but that's only part of it. It's a mindset they have and no idea why they all (mostly) became narcissists.
We certainly didn't raise them that way! And I have found this behavior really comes out once they reach the 30s and 40s. Just when we are moving into our 60s and 70s. Yes, will they realize all this when we are 6 feet under or blowing in the wind? Who knows. I never found my aging mother to be a burden. I did everything I could for her...by her side when she lost my father and as she went through the aging process with multiple health issues. In my opinion, this is a MAJOR issues in our society today - it shows up in all ways.
And it is more common that we think - we have expectations about our adult children - "normal" expectations and they don't step up to the plate. It is very sad...

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I completely understand how you feel. My husband and I have been there for all the family, but we’re almost always on our own when we need help. I know my children and grandchildren love us, but they stay really busy with their own interests and tend to forget about us.

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dycana | @dycana | Apr 7 1:16am
In reply to @briarrose "I have already posted to you previously but that's OK. Just some extra thoughts in responding..." + (show)
@briarrose

I have already posted to you previously but that's OK. Just some extra thoughts in responding to your new post.
My main issues were severe panic disorder and a bit of depression, but it usually lifted in a few days. Unlike you, I did keep up with housework. Antidepressants are the first line of treatment for anxiety. It's a lot of trial and error to find the right medication to help your particular symptoms. I hear you about health issues with family members & lots of death, job losses, etc. Loss is a tough one especially for us seniors. It's all around us in one way or other. You mentioned your "horrible pig pen"...that home environment alone can make you depressed and unmotivated to do anything, make you feel exhausted mentally & physically...you are in a vicious unhealthy and overwhelming cycle.
Can you get your 4 adult children to help you clean up and throw out your junk? Are you able to afford a biweekly or monthly cleaning lady? If not...can your 4 children help MOM with chipping in some money to do this? Are you a hoarder or just not able to summon the resolve to get up and clean? You have to get your home in shape, this in turn, WILL make you feel emotionally better and more motivated. Depression is like that...you feel you should be doing "something" and then you do "nothing" at all. Can you get outside for short walks? A bit of exercise is healthy for the mind and body, of course. Can you get yourself into therapy? You certainly need it! I was never on Auvelity...perhaps you mixed me up with another poster. I am on Zoloft 200 mg. daily. Zoloft is considered "safe" for seniors. It has definitely helped me as my panic attacks & anxiety has decreased. I still have moments of "despair" because of my son's mental condition, he's not getting better and not listening to me...that's MY heartbreak right now. Plus on my 70th birthday I received a call with the results of my breast biopsies. I have cancer in both breasts. I was in shock, most of my adult life has been focusing on my heart disease now this. Bilateral mastectomy will be done. Yes, no matter our age, life continues to throw us curveballs. A therapist with help you with coping skills. Ask for help, you surely need it! Hope you can clean out your house...you will feel better, it's not the complete answer to your mental state but it will help.
I can tell you clutter affects me in a bad way, so I get it. Best of luck to you, keep me posted 🙂

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Hi. I really appreciate your note to the other lady. I have osteoarthritis along with some other lables. I know how the other lady feels. Looking at the mess made me feel overwhelmed and tackling it put me in pain for a couple days. But if I didn’t do it, I would beat myself up and get more depressed. So doing it, even just one thing a day, will feel good. A sense of accomplishment.
I’m on Zoloft 50 mg which helps but am staying at my sons families place due to him having a couple months left to live. I’m a mental basket case right now and staying in a place that is utterly disgusting I’m finding makes my mental health worse. I’m crying all the time on top of trying to keep my son’s bed clean, his clothes clean and make sure he eats. His wife has never cared about cleaning and states she’s lazy and is fine with that. She doesn’t cook either and expects the boys to cook for her and themselves. Kd is the main staple. I could go on but I really wanted to say thank you both for sharing. Big hugs to you both.

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briarrose | @briarrose | Apr 7 7:29am

O my dycana. so very very sorry your son has just a few months left to live. My heart goes out to you, can't imagine what you are going thru emotionally. This is an unimaginable time for you (& all the family) now.
No doubt, you have started the grieving process but unfortunately - it's only human - the real grief & mourning will begin once he is gone. I truly hope there are bereavement support groups in your area. Is he on hospice?
If not, he surely should be as you/the family can get support from them and resources as life moves forward. And it does, but you must literally take one step, one moment at a time. As hard as it is, try to close your eyes to the house condition. It's not important now. And forget your son's wife...she's in her own world whatever that may be. It's not your job to figure it out, don't argue with her, not worth it now. Continue to focus ONLY on your son. Make every moment count while you can. Try to stop crying and instead focus on the present moments and the time you have left with him. Make them the best you can as you make his bed and clean his clothes. Do the best you can to help him eat - he simply might not want to as he is in the process of dying. Do not stress out if he is not really eating. All this is normal, don't give him stress over it. Make him as comfortable as possible, make his surroundings calm. Play relaxing, soft music for him. Do whatever he asks of you. Tell him you love him forever and forever he will be in your heart. And as your heart is breaking, try to make each moment with him precious. Just sitting with him, holding his hand is a comfort to him and will be for you. Just being with him is enough. Focus on him...not the house, not his wife or what she is demanding of her boys. Let it all go...this time you have with your son, you will never get it back. Make every moment count! Change your mindset. Read inspirational readings when you can to help yourself face the inevitable. You will need emotional support once he is gone...do reach out for help with friends, family or professional grief counseling.
Not everyone gets "time" with their dying loved ones. My friend's 39 year old daughter - her only child - died suddenly in her apartment in NYC from a brain aneurysm. She never had the chance to say good by to her daughter or be there for her. Make every moment count, make every moment the best it possibly can be.
Find strength and courage. Be strong. Have faith His Hands will hold your son and you as you travel this last road together. You and your boy are in my prayers. Blessings always.

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dchrzano | @dchrzano | Apr 7 10:50pm

16 yrs ago I started my ssri journey with Paxil which was wonderful for a while then just stopped working. Coming off of it was difficult due to brain zaps and other weird feelings but it was possible. I gained 100 lbs in one yr from Paxil and the doctors kept telling me it wasn’t from Paxil. Well yes, it was and also is with every other antidepressant except Wellbutrin which didn’t help w my panic attacks. I’m 61, Cymbalta helps but also makes you hungry and gain weight. I’d like to come off Cymbalta bc of the weight but only missing one day I had bad withdrawal. Not sure what to do.

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2 replies
briarrose | @briarrose | Apr 8 7:10am

dchrzano, with all SSRIs and SNRIs, there are very few (if any?) that you can suddenly stop.
Speak with your ordering physician/NP about weaning off of it.
You must have a plan in place to gradually decrease your dose over time. And it may take months for you to come off it without major distress to your mental health and awful withdrawal symptoms. But it can be done.
I have found some prescribers wean you down too fast. Be careful of this. Go nice and slow despite the length of time it takes. It will take cutting the pill in small increments to wean off. Suddenly stopping one pill (or pills) will not work as you found out. Get a pill cutter...you will cutting it in tiny pieces for a length of time on a daily basis.
Good luck and have patience!

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dalexis00 | @dalexis00 | Apr 8 8:03am

I'm in my own cause my son and family are too busy. I'm 74, concerned about the future and having to find a younger person to take over my executor papers.
I have no idea what to do or how to find someone. All my ppl I could ask are also my age.(They did say yes, they can help) but think a younger would be helpful as a second person.
I really don't know what to do.

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1 reply
daveshaw | @daveshaw | Apr 8 10:10am

Try Zoloft and Wellbutrin. They are very complimentary.
So much so that they call the combination Welloft. I also take Buspar and clonazepam. I recently cut my dose of Zoloft to 50mg from 100mg with no side effects.
Good luck to you.
Good luck to you.

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