Support for caregivers: I feel helpless not being able to fix things

Posted by jenkins @jenkins, Feb 23 6:53pm

It’s only my husband and I with a dog. My husband just went thru his first chemo infusion and he had a terrible week. I feel I’m doing everything wrong.

I feel helpless not able to fix this problem. Seeing loosing so much weight and with little energy, it breaks my heart.

Does anyone have recommendations on type of foods that can provide him with energy?

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@spunkyj2

My dad was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer June 2024...it has been a very difficult journey for him...at 83 he chose not to do any treatments of chemo or radiation...he included all of us in his decision...we all told him we support him...my mom is his primary care giver...my dad has always been an active man. Owns an auto repair shop my brothers work with him...thankfully the business is right next to our house my brothers check on them frequently during the day...both sisters live close by...me on the other hand live 3 hours away..so when I get home its so hard to see the changes in him...godbless him he is a fighter. They have awesome Drs, one of which makes HouseCalls. He is on Pallative Care has had 2 stents...bile duct and most recently duodenal stent. Mom doesn't like to leave him for any length of time, he has fallen a few times. My parents have been married for 65 years..5 kids all married...10 grandkids all married 10 great grandkids and counting...so our family is very blessed..

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Hi @spunkyj2, my dad chose not to do further treatments when his colorectal cancer returned. We, too, supported his decision and the reality of that decision. I'm so glad that your mom has so much support near by.

Seeing the changes when you visit must be hard. Your dad sounds like a fighter, but also a realist. How is your mom dealing with everything? When you visit are you able to have heart-to-heart talks with him and/or your mom?

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@jenkins

Thank you so much for your reply and kind words. You could not imagine how reading your and others comments helps me get through the beginning of these journey.
Wish you the best for you and your husband as well .

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My husband wasn't able to eat much due to a stent. After a Whipple procedure, they opened up another pathway. He is able to eat more and has gained ten pounds. We did the shakes with ice cream if he can tolerate cold. Good luck.

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@wf0439

Hello,
I am in the same situation as you. Except we have have cats 😼. My husband also has pancan and lost so much weight. He had 14 rounds of chemo and radiation. All of these are so hard on the body. Does your husband take pancreatic enzymes? This was a game changer for us. My husband has a good appetite now and enjoys his food. This is all I can ask. He eats everything he loves. I try to bake or cook his favorites. When he was on chemo he liked eggs, soups, casseroles, ice cream especially. He isnt fond of protein drinks but if I made him a milkshake I could sneak some in without too much flavor change. I hope this helps a bit. I know how hard this whole thing is, but I treasure each day he feels well and enjoys the things he loves. Hugs and prayers for you both ❤️

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Eating can be a problem. My husband had a brain bleed among other afflictions and didn't like many foods he liked before. The rehab hospital tried to give him Ensure but he hated it. His cousin, who retired as a RN in a care facility, told me to get Carnation Instant Breakfast. He liked that and even now long after his appetite is back to normal, he uses the vanilla or strawberry instead of milk on his cereal. I get the bottled high protein vanilla but I don't think strawberry comes in high protein.

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