To everyones who replied, Thanks
My wife is mentally there most of the time, in those times she feels like she doesn't need help, and against being doped up to function. Our family doctor knows some of what's going on, so does her health case-manager. She knows a lot more and have become friends and my wife is comfortable talking to her.
Her two daughters are too busy for their mom, One is a doctor the other in upper management in a worldwide company. My two daughters are cautious when coming around us with the grandkids and my son thinks she is crazy!
Hospital are no help, she'll talk her way out. Last time I called the sheriff to green warrant her she was released from the hospital before I had a chance to complete the paperwork.
I have explained I want a divorce, I'm her legal guardian so she needs to find someone to replace me. I get a pension from the Fire Department and S/S. All our savings are gone and my wife gets S/S only. Starting over is not a option for either of us.
I'll just keep working at it and the next time she will be arrested and I'll get her help thru the courts. She understand my stance now.
Still looking for that book.... Caregiving for Dummies 101