1. < Cancer

My Anger is overwhelming

Posted by Denise @denisestlouie, Feb 20 8:56pm

I'm so angry. I've felt this way off and on for 3 years and that was before my Crohn's diagnosis and my cancer diagnosis. I don't have a clue where its coming from. I've been in therapy since 2021. I've worked with 2 different therapists with different approaches. I'm taking buspirone. I used to take an Lexapro but that didn't help me.

Since my cancer diagnosis the anger is more intense. I fired my GI I'm constantly thinking about firing my oncologist. I haven't stopped any cancer therapy. I'm focused on my health. I'm doing things to strengthen my body. I think that's one positive thing that I do.

Sometimes I think about selling everything and move away to be by myself. I honestly don't think I would miss anyone, except my daughter.

I have days that are worse than others. Today is an exceptionally bad day. There was no trigger. I woke up angry.

I've been told anger is a secondary emotion that help us deal with other emotions. I don't know what it would be. It's not depression. I think one of the therapist would have identified depression.

My anger is so in your face other people dont want to hear what I'm saying not do they understand. That's probably why they don't want to hear me talk about the things and people that agitated me.

I'm writing in my journal trying to calm myself. I post here regularly for an outlet.

When I'm angry I'm either fierce or I cry. It's confusing. It's lonely when I'm not alone. I don't drink anymore. So it's not alcohol. I just don't know what else I should be doing.

I used to be a very happy person. I've never been easy going. I've always had passion for my work and now I couldn't careless. I hate this. I hate that I'm a different person. I'm some one I don't even know anymore.

I sometimes think I'm angry about the way my life turned out. Honestly on the surface I've done pretty well for myself and my daughter.

I think maybe it's just me. Maybe I don't like being me.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Cancer Support Group.

Denise | @denisestlouie | 6 days ago
In reply to @josmio "Hi. I went through anger after the shock of being diagnosed with cancer. I just couldn’t..." + (show)
@josmio

Hi. I went through anger after the shock of being diagnosed with cancer. I just couldn’t believe it. I have no family history of cancer and I wind up having cancer. I was scared and I was dealing with another illness that I was diagnosed the year before. My autoimmune disease completely changed my life. I wasn’t able to work. I had lost my balance, my hearing and my 20/20 vision. I was limited to staying in bed because I get easily fatigued and so much more. I did everything I could to get better in which I did improve but then I had cancer.
It’s so overwhelming. I went back to therapy but I went to the Cancer Wellness Center and I signed up with the support groups and other programs they have. It helped me deal with my anger constructively. I learned other coping skills along the way so now I’m better in handling my emotions.
I hope that you find a way to work with your anger. I’m glad that you’re giving therapy a chance. Take care.

Jump to this post

You story sounds so much like mine autoimmune disease diagnosis. Changing lifestyle then bang cancer.

Thank you for sharing

REPLY
josmio | @josmio | 6 days ago

Hi, Denise. Thank you for reaching out. I’m glad that you understand. My family did not understand this autoimmune disease. They think that the symptoms were all in my head and I’m depressed. Not everyone knows much about it. I had to look online to find my own answers.
Thank you again. I hope things work out for you. Take care.

REPLY
1 reply
Denise | @denisestlouie | 6 days ago

The really strange thing about my autoimmune disease, Crohn's, it was silent. I had no stomach issues at all until a bowel obstruction. Not having prior symptoms made it very hard for the doctors to know what was going on and I refused to let them perform surgery unless they know where to look. I had a consult with a GI while I was in the hospital but he wasn't an expert in IBD and I could get an appointment with an expert for months. My primary kept harassing the GI to do something. 6 weeks after the bowel obstruction and 2 emergency hospitalizations numerous CT scan the inability to eat or work or really being able to do anything the GI orders and IME. the following day I had surgery

I'm sure I had the disease for more than a decade. I was inflamed in all my joints. I'm sure the inflammation, lack nutrient absorption that immune supporting drugs is way cancer developed.

You can not tell someone your sick if you don't recognize that your sick

REPLY
1 reply
isadora2021 | @isadora2021 | 4 days ago
In reply to @edl189901 "Well, your anger sounds more like frustration than anger to me. It happens to everybody. I..." + (show)
@edl189901

Well, your anger sounds more like frustration than anger to me.
It happens to everybody. I am in Canada. In February, many of us become so frustrated with the weather that we have invented a name for our frustration: February Blues.
Whatever the name, it may depend on the idea that we have a right to something, like better weather or a healthier body.
Let us realize that we don’t have any of those hypothetical rights.
Because, in reality, we are born in a place on the planet, and there is no perfect place on it. Nowhere!.
Our genetics shape our bodies, along with the random conditions of our mother’s body, our nourishment, health history, the purity of the water we drink, the rhythm of our lives, the financial circumstances of the family, and the healthcare provided to us by the government—you name it!
Can we be angry with someone for all that?
My mother used to say to me, "When you feel frustrated, look behind you. Countless people will take your place in life immediately!"

Jump to this post

@edl189901 Anger is a super complex mental and psychological issue, with many possible causes and various physiological responses. Frustration is only one emotion that can accompany or trigger anger. Not everyone experiences anger in the same way or for the same reasons and therapy is s helpful to get to the root cause and learn to manage it.

It is indeed interesting to consider what anger is, what are some of the triggers for anger and some of the tools to manage it.
https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/the-nature-of-anger
https://www.healthline.com/health/anger-issues

REPLY
josmio | @josmio | 2 days ago
In reply to @josmio "Hi. I went through anger after the shock of being diagnosed with cancer. I just couldn’t..." + (show)
@josmio

Hi. I went through anger after the shock of being diagnosed with cancer. I just couldn’t believe it. I have no family history of cancer and I wind up having cancer. I was scared and I was dealing with another illness that I was diagnosed the year before. My autoimmune disease completely changed my life. I wasn’t able to work. I had lost my balance, my hearing and my 20/20 vision. I was limited to staying in bed because I get easily fatigued and so much more. I did everything I could to get better in which I did improve but then I had cancer.
It’s so overwhelming. I went back to therapy but I went to the Cancer Wellness Center and I signed up with the support groups and other programs they have. It helped me deal with my anger constructively. I learned other coping skills along the way so now I’m better in handling my emotions.
I hope that you find a way to work with your anger. I’m glad that you’re giving therapy a chance. Take care.

Jump to this post

Hi Issdora. I’m glad that it’s helpful to you.

Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPhone

REPLY
josmio | @josmio | 2 days ago
In reply to @josmio "Hi. I went through anger after the shock of being diagnosed with cancer. I just couldn’t..." + (show)
@josmio

Hi. I went through anger after the shock of being diagnosed with cancer. I just couldn’t believe it. I have no family history of cancer and I wind up having cancer. I was scared and I was dealing with another illness that I was diagnosed the year before. My autoimmune disease completely changed my life. I wasn’t able to work. I had lost my balance, my hearing and my 20/20 vision. I was limited to staying in bed because I get easily fatigued and so much more. I did everything I could to get better in which I did improve but then I had cancer.
It’s so overwhelming. I went back to therapy but I went to the Cancer Wellness Center and I signed up with the support groups and other programs they have. It helped me deal with my anger constructively. I learned other coping skills along the way so now I’m better in handling my emotions.
I hope that you find a way to work with your anger. I’m glad that you’re giving therapy a chance. Take care.

Jump to this post

Thank you. I needed that.

Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPhone

REPLY
josmio | @josmio | 2 days ago
In reply to @josmio "Hi, Denise. Thank you for reaching out. I’m glad that you understand. My family did not..." + (show)
@josmio

Hi, Denise. Thank you for reaching out. I’m glad that you understand. My family did not understand this autoimmune disease. They think that the symptoms were all in my head and I’m depressed. Not everyone knows much about it. I had to look online to find my own answers.
Thank you again. I hope things work out for you. Take care.

Jump to this post

Thank you.

Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPhone

REPLY
josmio | @josmio | 2 days ago
In reply to @josmio "Hi. I went through anger after the shock of being diagnosed with cancer. I just couldn’t..." + (show)
@josmio

Hi. I went through anger after the shock of being diagnosed with cancer. I just couldn’t believe it. I have no family history of cancer and I wind up having cancer. I was scared and I was dealing with another illness that I was diagnosed the year before. My autoimmune disease completely changed my life. I wasn’t able to work. I had lost my balance, my hearing and my 20/20 vision. I was limited to staying in bed because I get easily fatigued and so much more. I did everything I could to get better in which I did improve but then I had cancer.
It’s so overwhelming. I went back to therapy but I went to the Cancer Wellness Center and I signed up with the support groups and other programs they have. It helped me deal with my anger constructively. I learned other coping skills along the way so now I’m better in handling my emotions.
I hope that you find a way to work with your anger. I’m glad that you’re giving therapy a chance. Take care.

Jump to this post

Thank you.

Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPhone

REPLY
josmio | @josmio | 2 days ago
In reply to @denisestlouie "The really strange thing about my autoimmune disease, Crohn's, it was silent. I had no stomach..." + (show)
@denisestlouie

The really strange thing about my autoimmune disease, Crohn's, it was silent. I had no stomach issues at all until a bowel obstruction. Not having prior symptoms made it very hard for the doctors to know what was going on and I refused to let them perform surgery unless they know where to look. I had a consult with a GI while I was in the hospital but he wasn't an expert in IBD and I could get an appointment with an expert for months. My primary kept harassing the GI to do something. 6 weeks after the bowel obstruction and 2 emergency hospitalizations numerous CT scan the inability to eat or work or really being able to do anything the GI orders and IME. the following day I had surgery

I'm sure I had the disease for more than a decade. I was inflamed in all my joints. I'm sure the inflammation, lack nutrient absorption that immune supporting drugs is way cancer developed.

You can not tell someone your sick if you don't recognize that your sick

Jump to this post

Hi. You have been through so much. I understand and can relate. Hang in there with me. I’ll be as supportive as I can. I will listen and respond when you need me.

REPLY
2 replies
josmio | @josmio | 2 days ago
In reply to @josmio "Hi. I went through anger after the shock of being diagnosed with cancer. I just couldn’t..." + (show)
@josmio

Hi. I went through anger after the shock of being diagnosed with cancer. I just couldn’t believe it. I have no family history of cancer and I wind up having cancer. I was scared and I was dealing with another illness that I was diagnosed the year before. My autoimmune disease completely changed my life. I wasn’t able to work. I had lost my balance, my hearing and my 20/20 vision. I was limited to staying in bed because I get easily fatigued and so much more. I did everything I could to get better in which I did improve but then I had cancer.
It’s so overwhelming. I went back to therapy but I went to the Cancer Wellness Center and I signed up with the support groups and other programs they have. It helped me deal with my anger constructively. I learned other coping skills along the way so now I’m better in handling my emotions.
I hope that you find a way to work with your anger. I’m glad that you’re giving therapy a chance. Take care.

Jump to this post

Hi. Thank you for the hug.

REPLY
View MoreView Less
Please sign in or register to post a reply.