Does anyone feel old and useless with age?

I am 55 years old, I was a fairly fit person up until 4 years ago. I kept finding myself out of breath, I was diagnosed with interstitial lung disease and was given a lung transplant. I left the hospital with a walking frame at 51 years old. I was forced to retire leaving the income to my wife 9 years my junior. At first, everything was fine, and it was accepted that my abilities had diminished somewhat. However, now it is as if I never had a lung transplant. I do as much as I can, but my mind wanders. I take so many pills I rattle when I walk, the effects of which are not good. My ability to remember and plan is not good, however, my wife seems to go through a cycle like she has had enough. I will have a nap and awake to doors slamming etc... and ask what is wrong and get nothing. She has suddenly decided that she wanted the house (entire) clean, and I didn't do it. Having come this close to death I have no fear of it and some days am comforted by the thought it is close for me. After being treated like this I feel belittled, useless and let down. I worked since I was 14 years old, my wife was a stay at home mum and looked after our two kids. But it seems now she has to go to work things aren't what they seemed. It leaves me wondering how much longer I can put up with this, I have nowhere to go but I do know how you feel. These days they treat people like cars, once you are worn out and breaking down, they don't want you. You are not alone.

Do you belong to any kind of religious group. They are always looking for volunteers. That may help you meet new people and get involved with something.

@dorothy1914 - I know how frightening it is because I have experienced the overwhelming anxiety, panic and stress from not sleeping. None of this is your fault and there is an imbalance in your body causing this. Have you tried Benedryl, Ambien or Xanax temporarily until you can get the sleep issue under control? Sleep deprivation wreaks havoc on our mind and body and I am seeing a doctor at the end of the month to discuss other possible sleep drugs to try until I can get my insomnia under control. It was better for about 6 months and now is back and worse than ever. The Rhodiola helps me with some of the stress and anxiety but without decent sleep I am just putting a bandaid on things. Have you tried some natural supplements like Tryptophan, Ashwagandha and Rhodiola? Take some deep breaths and don’t give up trying to find something that will help you sleep because sleep in the key. Some women find Progesterone helps with sleep. Unfortunately it didn’t help me. Find another doctor preferably a psychiatrist who will work with you to find a solution. Most GP’s don’t have enough experience with sleep and anxiety medication. Maybe your provider can give you a referral to someone to get you in faster. I know here in Arkansas it takes a couple months to get in and see someone new. Sending you prayers.

Thank you so much for your kind words. My husband feels the loneliness and isolation, too, as the male friends he had in our neighborhood who organized the “guys’ night out” get togethers have passed away. My husband has one friend left who is 95 years old but he doesn’t live nearby. Both my husband and I are extreme introverts so we just can’t go out and make friends. My anxiety is at such a heightened state that every little task I have to do makes me feel ill. I have a therapist I can talk with and have told him everything about my life as an abused child. I don’t have the strength to make it to some of my appointments as I am frozen with fear. Thank you for your prayer. Yes, I would like continue to communicate with you.

Hi Dorothy and husband,
I hope today was a good day for you two. I'm sorry your husband has Parkinson's. That's awful to deal with.
It's hard when you don't have a lot of friends and probably don't really feel comfortable with a lot of people in your life. My husband and I were that way also. All of our friends and there weren't many have all died. My husband was 83 when he died of lung cancer. I'm 78. We preferred just to be with each other. Now it's just me.

I'm sorry about your anxiety over different tasks that you have to do. Have you tried talking yourself through them? Sometimes I do that. I just tell myself out loud, "I'm going to start the laundry and then go make the bed. After that, defrost the hamburger for dinner." It puts things in perspective and they don't seem so overwhelming.
That is terrible that you were abused as a child. But that was then and not now. Maybe it's best to try and forget about it as much as you can. It could be that you are afraid of the therapy appointments because that's where you re-live the terrible abuse that you had done to you.

Have you and your husband done anything fun lately? Like making popcorn and watching something on TV that you both enjoy? Or perhaps doing a jigsaw puzzle together. My husband did both of those things together. We also made cookies together. It makes things easier to cope with and we all need enjoyment in our lives!

I wish you both the best. Keep praying and so will I.
PML

Do you belong to any kind of religious group. They are always looking for volunteers. That may help you meet new people and get involved with something.

Yes, I do .... I'm 80 and in good health with the exception of a knee replacement and I had a small lump removed from my breast about 9 months ago. My kids are all grown, I have moved down to be near them but since they work I rarely see them, I no longer have a car (accident which totaled it), live in a less-than-desirable senior apartment, cannot find a church which "fits." I do a lot of reading and walking and I'm starting to do an aerobics tape I did several years ago. Otherwise, I feel like I'm just biding my time til it's over. I know that is awful to say, but it's true. I do see a Psy.MD for depression and anxiety and take meds., but it doesn't take the sense that I'm sitting in a corner somewhere watching the world go by without me. Barb