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Friend was recently removed from the liver transplant recipients list

Posted by damadecao @damadecao, Jan 30 1:20pm

My friend’s medical team has decided to remove her from the liver transplant recipients list. I am not her caregiver but a friend. I am here because I am quite shocked and have no idea how I can help my friend. If anyone could suggest or share a similar situation, I would be most grateful. I understand and apologize in advance if my post is not adequate here. 🙏

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damadecao | @damadecao | Feb 11 11:03am
In reply to @azkellyw "I'm so sorry. I lost my best friend Linda six years after her transplant. The liver..." + (show)
@azkellyw

I'm so sorry. I lost my best friend Linda six years after her transplant. The liver she received wasn't the best but she was so sick they had no choice but to go ahead with it. She got cancer and it was too late before it was caught. Thankfully she went fast in ten days and didn't suffer long before she entered hospice. It's not something that those of us that have to watch our dearly beloved friends pass ever get over. It's been a year already and I still can't bring myself to delete our chat conversations or her phone number from my contacts. It probably makes it worse but in a way I feel I still have her. We were going to be Thema and Louise and grow old together. I wish upon you all the strength it takes to live through this uncharted situation and I'm sure she wasn't able to express her gratitude for you caregiving, know she loved you. She will be looking over you forever. Hugs to you and her family.

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Thank you very much for your thoughtful words. I’m truly sorry for your loss as well. It’s interesting that you mentioned having difficulty deleting Linda's phone number and messages; I can completely relate. Just yesterday, I went back through my old text conversations with Lucy from as far back as 2017. I've also been sifting through old emails. In a way, as you said, it feels like she’s still with me. Sending you positive energy and warm wishes.
Sandrine

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Moderator
Colleen Young, Connect Director | @colleenyoung | Feb 11 6:10pm
In reply to @damadecao "Good afternoon, and thank you for your replies. My friend passed away last week, in the..." + (show)
@damadecao

Good afternoon, and thank you for your replies. My friend passed away last week, in the night between Wednesday and Thursday. At 12:12 am to be exact. I was with her. I look at her passing as a blessing in disguise. She was in much much pain. I never did find out exactly the reasons why she was removed from the list but I suspect that there were various reasons for the team to decide it. I believe that the main reason was that the disease had progressed so quickly and in a quite violent manner. She had stopped eating and by the time they last saw her, it appeared evident that she could not have survived the transplant surgery. I have tried to help her these last few months. What I learned is that the support system in this type of procedures is key. My friend did not have it. I live in Peru most of the time. Her family (her son) never showed up for her. I miss her very much but I am glad to know that she is no longer suffering. I so wish she could have made it but… I want to take this opportunity to wish all of you who are going through this type of experience much healing. I had the opportunity to visit Mayo up in Jacksonville and I was amazed by this institute. Best Wishes to all, Sandrine

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@damadecao, I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your dear friend. It is hard to see someone we love suffer. I'm sure you have been experiencing loss in bits and pieces as you supported her.

Should you wish to talk with others about loss and grief, there is a forum here:
- Loss & Grief Support Group https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/loss-grief/

What would you like us to know about your friend?

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my44 | @my44 | Feb 15 2:03pm
In reply to @damadecao "I truly appreciate your kind message! I noticed your profile picture features a cute little dog...." + (show)
@damadecao

I truly appreciate your kind message! I noticed your profile picture features a cute little dog. My friend and I both have a deep affection for dogs—they truly are the best companions! Sadly, my friend’s dog, Jimmy, had to move in with her partner. I wasn’t able to take him in myself since my German Shepherd, Trinity, doesn’t get along with other dogs. Still, both Jimmy and Trinity have provided immense support for all of us during this challenging and emotional time. Best wishes, Sandrine

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Hi, Sandrine.

Thanks for asking about the dog on my profile. I am "developing" a deep affection for puppies (not big dogs yet 😧). I had been afraid of all dogs my entire life and I just recently became less fearful of pups...and I even like them now. I don't own a dog, but the picture on my profile is the kind of dog I'd like to have if I would ever get one.

Despite my fear of them, I do notice that dogs are great companions, they're loyal, and they offer so much support. I'm sorry that you weren't able to take Jimmy in, but I'm sure he's being well taken care of by your friend's partner. Meanwhile you have your Trinity. I do think German Shepherds are smart, good-looking dogs. All the best to you!

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