Spouse with MCI insists on using computer technology without help

Frustration is typically the loss of “executive function”.
Planning, organizing, preparing, and the like…typically it’s a sign of dementia. So a patient with dementia/MCI will get frustrated when trying to solve a problem.

When my husband first started struggling with things related to MCI and other disabilities I tried to step up and help. That backfired. I had to wait until he realized on his own that he needed assistance. It's frustrating for you, I'm sure, to watch your wife's struggles with technology, but I'd suggest letting it go for now if you can within reason. As things progress (which I hope they do not do in your case), she may find herself feeling grateful for your help.

I honor and celebrate you for having the backbone to stand up to the honest reality of your husband’s cognitive decline and resulting safety issues with driving, putting himself and other in danger.
I finally found the backbone- quietly changed the car registration to both names, took it to the dealer and sold it back to them, and got a ride home. When he noticed the car was gone, I told him we had to sell it because we needed the money. I hid the second set of keys to my car, hid the first when I wasn’t in the car, and naturally took the driver’s seat when we went out.
He was really angry at first, I kept repeating we needed the money, he eventually accepted that, and neither he nor any innocent pedestrians or other drivers got injured or killed. That was the bottom line for me.
Anybody remember that terrible accident years ago in CA where a senior drove into a farmers’ market and killed and injured many people? Turned out his family knew he was a danger but didn’t want to address it because it would have “made him really mad”.
Kudos to you for standing up and doing the very hard thing that needed to be done to protect him and the rest of us. Go You, Judy 🏆

I agree. My dad was beyond furious, but we had to endure it. He still occasionally demands the keys though he’s probably not able to get out of the door without assistance, but we stand firm. He has no access to keys.

My wife lost her use of computer, car, and most of her ability to use her cell phone in less than 2 years. She also had to give up alcohol in that period. Alcohol was the hardest. She doesn't miss the computer. Her mci just accelerated.

My wife had a similar issue but with her smart phone. Was ordering useless medications and responding to spam emails. I finally convinced to not do that but still have to monitor. She will have noting to do with her laptop and comes to me if she needs something printed or forwarded.

My husband has the same technology issues with his laptop and cell phone, and he rarely used them before he developed dementia, either. He doesn't even know that the small, plastic rectangle on the table is a phone. If he did try to use his devices, it was usually not good. He'd do things like answer spam email or reply to business texts he had answered months earlier. Little by little, I've been finding ways to distance him from his devices.
For example, when he couldn't remember his password to unlock his computer, I told him it was probably broken, and I put it away "until we could get it fixed." He has forgotten about it.
I erased contacts from his phone, and, when he complains he can't find them, I offer to call family members on my phone. For important business contacts (doctors, financial planners, etc.), I suggested he switch contacts to my phone "because it works better."
If necessary, I used a Power of Attorney we had done years ago, to have permission for access.
@geppetto , I hope some of this helps, though I'm still learning, through the wonderful support on this site, that things will keep changing.
I found a wonderful quote a while back - author unknown - that serves as a good reminder to me to go with the flow:
"Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape."

Reading all these messages is very helpful. My husband is legally blind and drives a mobility scooter - it is scary, but he refuses to give it up as this is his only independence since losing his driver's license. He now spends hours on his tablet, and so far, he is not doing anything but watching Utube. I control all the finances. But as his dementia gets worse, I will have to face both of these issues. The other day, I reminded him of something, and he accused me of making it up and lying to him! He is a big guy and angers easily, and I am physically disabled. His family is not involved as they live in different towns.

@mdcatlin This goes back a few years to simpler devices, but when my Mom struggled, we sat down together and wrote down the step-by-step instructions in language she understood. To avoid "losing them" they were in a full-sized spiral notebook with a label on the cover, on her desk, with tabs for the computer, the printer, the remote control the phone.

Do you think some version of this could work for her?

I took the initiative and wrote to the Department of Motor Vehicles when my mother kept telling me my father's driving was dangerous and that he shouldn't drive any more. My thinking was that if the DMV determined he was a safe driver, that would be good enough for me. I lived about 125 miles away in a different city. The DMV contacted me for more information that I didn't have. All I had was his name, address, and DOB; I did not have his driver license number. They did call him in to be re-tested. He could take the written test three times; he took it twice and failed both times. He said he couldn't remember the question when he was reading the suggested answers (multiple choice). He did not go back for a third testing. His reaction was to say that he hadn't hurt anyone by his driving up to that date and that he wasn't going to hurt anyone in the future. My mother then called me and asked me to come get their car because otherwise he would forget and would drive somewhere. Neither of my parents know I wrote to the DMV - as far as I know.