Anyone deal with Dementia AND Narcissistic personality disorder?

I would say no.

All you can do is try to survive with your sanity intact. I did that with a husband of 58 years who was horrible the last 10 years. Yes, it was the dementia causing his real personality to be much worse, but it doesn't make up for him driving you crazy. I calmed myself by coloring in books with gel pens as he raged around me. But, recently I've started using one of the under the desk elliptical's that I'm now rather addicted to. I space out as I watch tv for hours. I've even forgotten to have my nightly margarita. It is soothing.

Yes, I am dealing with this. My situation is not as bad as yours, but mine escalates daily—narcissism and dementia are not a good combination. We do have dementia supports that meet with us every four months or so. The dementia team consists of a nurse and a psychiatrist. I keep a diary of happenings which they read so they know the progression. Although two of his children visit every month or so, they do not help with his care. I have a weekly visitor whose mother had dementia, and I can unload my feelings with her. Right now, I stop all conversations that cause him to get angry - he over-talks loudly and is a big guy. I just stopped talking after saying I was not interested in continuing the discussion. He will rage for a while, and he stops when I do not react. He has vascular dementia and is also legally blind. My doctor is worried about violence. He still does chores around the house and the garden. I also have a physical disability and lung scarring, so I am restricted in what I can do physically. I have been living with this situation for about 5 years.

I have the onset of dementia and my husband’s family has no patience/understanding re me.
I have cared for him he is blind in 1 eye and almost deaf. How can I deal with these impatient, selfish beings?
My former career was with handicapped children.
I feel so isolated/ alone and angry.
Thank u for listening.
I am furious at his brother and children.
Thank Heaven for my dog.

It isn't easy dealing with dementia and still caring for another disabled person. We have dogs, too, and they keep us grounded. Hopefully, you can find something to take your mind off of your situation. My husband, who has dementia, has taken up drawing. Can you contact someone who can get you some relief?

Hi. My mother is 93, lucid and of course with a bit of senile dementia. I am not sure the dementia aggravates the narcissistic personality disorder, because I know through research, that her personality does get worse with age, because they have difficulty dealing with the fact and consequences of old age, and of course, she blames others for what she’s going through. Becomes verbally abusive and humiliating, and right down nasty. I’ve hired a number of caregivers which she fires because they’re not good enough to take care of her. She’s manipulative to obtain what she wants. What I’ve learned is it gets worse the older she gets. People who have this disorder, are generally healthy and live a long time; so brace yourself and do the best you can without sacrificing your own health and wellbeing. Big problem is that every limit you set, they do not comply and strive to break it! even if it means that it will put them in danger, also the impulsivity that characterizes this personality disorder is detrimental to their own safety. It’s like having a misbehaved, mean child and not being able to punish their behavior. Also professional psychological help may work for a while until she decides that the professional taking care of her is incompetent and refuses to continue her treatment. Also medication like antidepressants and antipsychotics do not help much. I’m sorry I cannot give you a better outlook on the future, but this is the reality. My advice, make taking care of yourself a priority, like it should be.

It is a very long and challenging journey! How do you keep sane?

Good question. I have 2 sisters who grudgingly help at times and what I do is go out of town and relax. Also like to visit the spa and the swimming pool. What helps is my psychologist who is very supportive. It takes a while to find a mental health professional who is well versed in NP(narcissistic personality). To be frank, it’s one day at a time…