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What to do now? Son relapsed after rehab
I have a 37 year old son, who has struggled with Alcohol and Xanax for 10+ years, or more. Presently unemployed, as he cannot hold a job. Has been in rehab twice. Both short term, but successful when he sticks to it. Relapsed 4 months ago, and refuses any help. We are at our wits end. We are beginning to feel despair, depressed, and desperate. Where do we turn, or what can we try?
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@michael88
Your in a tough situation, you want to help your son, but he has to be ready to change. There is a very good discussion on how to help relatives with addictions.
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/meth-addiction/
Even though title mentions Meth, most advice can be applied to anyone addicted to any substance.
I strongly suggest Al-anon to connect with people in similar situation.
https://al-anon.org/
Is your son living with you?
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4 ReactionsHe is not. I’ve offered, but he declined. Thank you for the links.
I would suggest getting involved with Alcoholics Anonymous. I say "getting involved", rather than just going to AA. I had 2 sponsors, that helped me 37 yrs ago , to restart my life toward sobriety.
Your job is to never give up hope, never quit praying for him.
Do not financially support him and his current lifestyle.
Treatment centers tell you the things you will need to do to stay clean and give you a safe place to stay clean while you're there.
Until he is ready to do whatever it takes to stay clean he will probably live his life the way he has been living it.
Like said above, you should go to alanon, in person.
al-anon.org
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1 ReactionAl-Anon is for friends, family and relatives of alcholics. Nar-Anon is for friends, family and relatives of drug addicts. Two programs to choose fro or both! Go. Time to get the focus back on yourself. Then, if you are ever asked for help, you will be better able to appropraitely offer it.
Going to AA or NA can be informative and help you learn about the disease of alcoholics, but for your OWN recovery, Al-Anon or Nar-Anon, or both.
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1 ReactionAlso, the lovely thing about Al-Anon and Nar-Anon is we do not give advice. We share our experience strength and hope with one another to find answers for ourselves. No one can really tell me what to do if they aren’t in my shoes. You can easily find Al-Anon meeting lists online, go in person, go on zoom, go through email. Choices abound for us to help ourselves.
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1 ReactionSorry to hear about your son's journey. As you know, there is nothing you can do to force his sobriety, but there are many things you can do for yourself. Learn to Cope, a peer-led support network offers education, resources, and hope for family members and friends who have loved ones affected by substance use disorder. It saved my life!
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3 ReactionsI would add checking out anything about codependency and vulnerabilities . An addict can be vulnerable to many things and people that can contribute to relapse. Enabling is part of codependency.
I am reading this on what would have been my son’s 40th birthday. He died of an overdose in 2016. His go to drugs were opioids and Xanax. He had been in and out of rehab and jail. I couldn’t save him. I went to Al-anon and saved myself. I listened and talked with people who got it. He will forever be in my heart but, I am living and trying to help others. My heart goes out to you and your son.
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3 ReactionsThank you and sorry for ur loss.My son lost his battle Jan 4th. Yesterday would’ve been his 37th birthday. We are all struggling and looking into programs that may help.
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