Loveless marriage

I can make a comment about my marriage. Arguing over politics current events etc. I never wanted to do this. Today with tears I realized we and especially me lost a precious commodity. Time. It was hard to stop this as a couple. I wanted couples therapy early on. He refused. I am the one who got help. Do the 2 of you have any shared interests or hobbies? One suggestion I have is trying to start saying thank you to each other. Have you researched the 5 languages of love?

Yeah tried lots of things.
I fear we are past the point of no return but the next step is somewhat unthinkable (yet likely the best alternative).
What price to pay for happiness…
The thought of growing old and being miserable and alone in the same house is terrifying.
I saw my parents go down that road.
Extra tough over the holidays.

Love covers covers all, dont give up! there is hope if both want your marriage to work, some marriage come to a point of no return. This happens because one are both believe that the things one are both in the marriage hate about the marriage will never change. Things must change my friends Don't give up !!

I hope things can be salvaged, but either way I’d get a legal consult with a family law attorney, so you can get info on your rights and responsibilities.

How do I do this? He seems to be letting current events consume him. I am changing what I can. It seems he is giving his power away to this. I start orgional medicare on 1/1/25. I am checking on direct primary care membership. Etc. I am aware of an apparent tsunami of changes coming. I just see him bringing up the worst. He is a good man

I was in medicare advantage. Not a good decision. For 4 1/2 years my plan slowed care billed me etc. I filed complaint after complaint. It worked. By the way I am the sole source of income in my marriage.

I don’t think either one of us feels we can truly be happy with each other. It’s more a situation of convenience where the cost of a divorce and living separately is prohibitive despite the fact that we have saved our money over the years. So, we are left with Acting like icebergs under the same roof because the cost of change seems overwhelming.

Do you BOTH feel this way? Is it more of a sexual problem than an emotional one? If so, can you make an arrangement where you will continue to live together to share expenses and insurance but see other people? I know several couples in open marriages with different rules for each one (some are DADT, some are "tell me everything," etc.) but they're still going strong after 20, 25 and 30 years. It's no longer the 1950s or 1960s and there are lots of different types of relationships available. Where I live no one would bat an eye at any of them.

I think a trap a lot of people fall into is expecting one person to provide EVERYTHING they need and that just doesn't happen. Also, in general, it seems women get a much worse deal out of marriage than men. For example, when I was researching the emotional aspects of having cancer I read that "a woman is six times more likely to be separated or divorced soon after a diagnosis of cancer than if a man in the relationship is the patient."

Thank you. In terms of both out moral compass I don't believe it will work. I can't seem to get him to see or respect that the current poltical situation or effects of non stop toxic media has the power to destroy.

@scottbeammeup what you said:

“I think a trap a lot of people fall into is expecting one person to provide EVERYTHING they need and that just doesn't happen. Also, in general, it seems women get a much worse deal out of marriage than men. For example, when I was researching the emotional aspects of having cancer I read that ‘a woman is six times more likely to be separated or divorced soon after a diagnosis of cancer than if a man in the relationship is the patient.’”

That. is spot on!