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My fiancé diagnosed with MCI and I'm being pushed aside
I was away at work overseas upon my return. I received an email from the daughter pertaining that the relationship with her father was over and I had to move out of the house. My fiancé has not spoken to me but has pulled away. I do not know what is going on and I’m so lost and devastated by all this. . Can somebody tell me what is actually going on? He was with Dr. Locke and was in the Habit course with the daughter. As she wanted to be in that course, I was not allowed to e with him as there are only one partner allowed and she was chosen over me. Since a diagnosed, the daughter has been assigned power of attorney and trustee of the estate and now makes all the decisions. However, my fiancé and I were very much in love and I care for him and I’m just so lost as I do not know what is happening. The daughter has moved everything out of the house into one room and she is going to put everything in storage, and taken down pictures, emptied his phone with all pictures of our lives together.
Why would someone do that?? Can somebody please tell me what is happening here?. Has my fiancé lost love for me in two weeks?
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I am so saddened to hear.
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1 ReactionWelcome to Mayo Clinic Connect @kivell ! I’m sure the members here will help you. One question, the title of the discussion states that your fiance was diagnosed with MCI but you made no further reference to it. Is this also something that you need assistance with?
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1 Reaction@kivell This is such a sad situation for you, how long have you been together? It is really hard to watch someone we love enter into an illness with no cure, and to know what is best for him.
First, let's address the daughter's actions - she is probably feeling overwhelmed by what is going on with her dad, and thinks she is doing the right thing. Perhaps she has been advised to do this by an attorney to protect her father's assets. Will she speak with you so you can understand? You will need to approach cautiously, make it a talk about "someone we both care about and want to do what is in his best interest."
How much do you know about your fiance's MCI? When was he diagnosed, and how has been affected so far? Do you what type, how advanced, prognosis, etc? Were you his caregiver recent events, or was he pretty independent? This can also be part of why actions are being taken now - maybe he has reached a state of stress, confusion, combativeness, or memory loss where she is trying to simplify his life.
Last, if you were residing in his home as a tenant, she must give you proper notice and time to vacate and to move your possessions. You might need to find out what your rights are so you don't make a hasty and ill-advised move.
Do
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5 ReactionsI am so sad to hear this!!! My husband ( 63 yo) was diagnosed with MCI in 2020 and then the final diagnosis of dementia caused by Alz came in 2021 and its gotten progressively worse faster than i thought it would. He also has aphasia, so I'm getting hit with all this ( and so is he) at once it seems. But taking everything away from him and packing it up doesn't seem like the answer. I have found that keeping his things around can help him and its those things that are familiar to him....only if for a moment or so at a time. I will say this journey is a learning process with a lot of hits and misses but as caregivers we are doing the best we can. And in my opinion i wouldn't remove everything. I think I would go crazy and be scared if everything i knew was suddenly taken away from me and nothing was familiar. One of the best things I did for myself AND my hubby was to read as much about this disease so I could see what i was up against. AND support groups. I can't tell you how well this has helped!! I hope things get better for you..your hubby is going to need you!!!
Love, peace and strength to you
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