How and when to discipline a 16 year old with Bipolar 1?

@babyblues262, I can imagine the tight rope that you are constantly walking or, as you say, walking on egg shells. It's hard to distinguish what is "normal" 16-year-old behavior that could benefit from parental guardrails and what behaviors require nuanced understanding of the bi-polar diagnosis and possible triggers. His past suicidal intention is likely always on your mind. None-the-less, there are things that are not okay and boundaries that need to be respected. Am I getting the scene sort of right?

While not bi-polar specific, I found the practical examples and tips in this book really helpful when my daughter was a teen.
- Parenting a Teen Who Has Intense Emotions: DBT Skills to Help Your Teen Navigate Emotional and Behavioral Challenges by Pat Harvey and Britt H. Rathbone https://www.newharbinger.com/9781626251885/parenting-a-teen-who-has-intense-emotions/

I also found it helpful to talk to a therapist for ME to give me tools to communicate better with my teen and to choose different listening and word choices that didn't set her off. I wasn't able to join a parents' group, but would've liked to do that. Do you have any supports for you, either one-on-one or in a group?

Thank you for the reply. I will definitely look at the book you suggested. I do have my own therapist, but we're working on healing from childhood trauma before starting anything else. It's been a long, exhausting year both emotionally and financially. Thankfully I have a very supportive family.

@babyblues262 my daughter was diagnosed with bipolar 1 with psychotic features at age 17. I took her out of school and she got a GED. Later on we found a distance diploma at North Atlantic Regional High School. She is a dancer which helped. Eventually she got into every college she applied to. (College was admittedly bumpy and she left, did community college, a degree completion program and graduated at 42. She is talented working with trouble kids.)

Does your son have accommodations at school? Have you considered taking him out or finding an alternative? When the brain undergoes a significant change like this, normal functioning at school can be difficult. Meds help in the long run but can be an adjustment in the short term. He may do fine eventually.

My other kid had epilepsy (related to BP in the brain I was told, my father had both) and was in and out of school. I actually saw a lawyer. We arranged for teachers to prepare a packet every day of work done in class, homework, tests, reading materials etc. whether she was in school or not, so she could go in and out as she was able. We also arranged for her to continue to act in plays, whether in school or not. That was important developmentally and socially.

Is there something your son loves to do that could be a focus at this time? (Again dance helped my daughter.) Often something physical helps. Martial arts?

How does your son refuse admission: if your son is under 18 aren't you able to commit him? And at any age, if someone is suicidal you can get him pink slipped. (I know it can be just 3 days!) There are many adolescent programs that last a month or so, with family support and those around here also have a school.

We went through one suicide attempt with an overdose of lithium which is very dangerous. Lexapro was added in the hospital and things have gone pretty well in recent years. Just to give you hope.

Feel free to PM me !

Thank you for the reply. He does have accomodations at school, which have helped some. The big problem is he falls behind, gets overwhelmed when his grades slip, then the manic/depressive cycle starts and he falls even farther behind. It's a vicious cycle.
In the state of Wisconsin a patient over the age of 14 has to be voluntary for admission. I could petition the courts to admit, but that is a road I'd prefer not to go down unless absolutely needed.
He's been getting a bit more sleep than he was this time last year-which has been helpful. I'm struggling with knowing when to push him to get his school work done vs let him try to find the motivation to do well on his own. He is incredibly intelligent and is close to failing. He just doesn't try. The harder I push the more his mental issues come out.

One of my client’s teen took equine therapy (horse care and riding) and it really helped her in all areas. She had been diagnosed with several disorders.

" He is incredibly intelligent and is close to failing. He just doesn't try. The harder I push the more his mental issues come out."

Does he have psychotic symptoms at all? Is he on meds that affect cognition or energy?

I would not blame a kid with this diagnosis for "not trying." As I said, I had to take my kid out of school. They can learn to manage this disease but it IS a disease and a disease of the brain, so academic expectations may need to change for awhile.

Also we were told 95% of people with bipolar 1 have ADHD- another challenge.

If pushing him brings out symptoms, it is probably a good idea to stop pushing.

Maybe he could do some classes online with flexibility. See vhslearning.org. Maybe your local NAMI could provide ideas-?

If he is 16, is he truant if he does not go to school? Working helped my kid a lot.