The downside is that his mother estimates calories and protein and isn't really scientific about it. Hasn't really been showing a lot of evidence she's been listening to food requirements. In addition, we live 9 mi away from Mayo Clinic where he's getting treatment daily vs 30 miles away at their house.

As for today... the pain went from about a 3 or 5 (depending on the area) to a 7 or 8 yesterday. He started taking the Oxycodone for the pain. I made him a smoothie and even that burned going past the mucositis and tonsil. He has HPV+ tonsil cancer - rather large, surgery was not possible without an enormous loss of the soft palette. He just turned 50 (I'm 48) so prognosis SHOULD be good but it's hell getting through it. He has no taste right now, pain eating, needs to eat 3000 calories daily and is terrified of a feeding tube in his stomach. Neither of us are spiritual. Can't afford anyone to help either. Both of us aren't working as we were trying to take time off to establish a business (an app - would be a retirement plan of sorts down the road to make passive income), hence the reason I'm having to seek employment ASAP once he's on the road to recovery. We're pretty locked down in terms of budget.

I imagine my husband could relate to your experience, @denise96. He cared for his grandfather by himself here prior to my moving in and there was a lot of things like that - overflowing coffee makers, fiddling with the thermostat too much, having panic attacks when not able to find his labeled lunch in the fridge. It sounded like hell.