Vaginal atrophy and painful intercourse: What helps?

I think the following importance in your journey back to better sexual relations.

1. USE VAGINAL ESTROGEN
2. If you can, take progesterone
3. See a pelvic floor specialist
4. Make foreplay and hand stuff a priority. It will help you relax down there.

I wish you the best

Wow, thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for all of you who had a suggestion and an answer for me. I am so touched. I still feel kinda stupid about being such a baby about my V.A. after reading about so many of you who are battling cancers, or other more serious stuff, I am blessed to not have to deal with any of that, but regardless, it means the world to me to get so many real suggestions from so many women who know what I'm going through. I felt like I was the only one in the whole world this was happening to. And I remember reading an article about 4 years before Vaginal Atrophy hit me. It was about how for some women, sex becomes painful after menopause. Well, I had not had a period in 5+ years at the time, so I thought surely it was not gonna happen to me. Would have already if was going to, right? And I remember thinking to myself, those poor gals, boy am lucky that didn't happen to me...and then a short while later, BAM! There it was. I think I jinxed myself.

Yeah, my husband is a selfish bastard, but he does love me and has made efforts lately to meet me in the middle. He is always very proud of me if I can get through it but sadly, he does still disappear once in a while. Guess that's the downside of marrying someone 5 years younger than me.

I wish better health and no more cancer to all of you suffering during this holiday season. I feel a comradery here with you all that is priceless to me, so once again thanks to you all for hearing me, validating my feelings, understanding, and supporting me in this journey. Guess it's time I realized I am an old lady and just have to accept some things. I'm blessed to look much younger than I am, but it's been a curse in this situation because I wasn't ready for this. Was not yet ready to act and be a woman in her late 50s. I was still trying to pretend I was 40. Gotta just face it. Those days are gone. Love you all, Happy Holidays!
Kristi

My breast cancer was caused from using estrogen after a hysterectomy in my 30, 40s' and 50's. I am 71 now and was told never to use any estrogens again. Not even vaginal estrogen.

@wifey5000 I've been looking here to see if you checked back in and am glad you did.

I had a therapist who I really connected with. One time I said that he was probably tired of listening to me complain and whine about my life when he had patients with real problems. I was in my 30's and 40's at the time and had never had any major illnesses. But I was having major problems in my marriage. He said that my problems were no less significant than anyone else's problems. And they are very real to me and were affecting my mood and functioning. That helped me a lot at the time because I was trying to convince myself that my problems were nothing to complain about.

So I will validate that what you are going through is real and significant for you. I turned that corner into post-menopause a few years after my period and sex with penetration became very painful. I was about 60 years old at the time. Like you I've been told that I have aged gracefully and look much younger than my 72-years. I'll take it but my body sometimes does not agree. I do what I can to take care of myself including regular exams with my doctor (my yearly physical wellness exam is this afternoon), dental appointments, exercise, healthy diet. But it's also genetic as my father looked more than 10-15 younger in years too so I think I inherited that.

I practice acceptance most days. What other choice do I have? I'm going to age day-by-day and all I can do is try to do so in a healthy way.

Finally, this. I did use vaginal estradiol for about 5 years and found it to be very helpful. I learned from the nurse educators at Mayo Clinic not to follow the directions where you plunge the applicator deep - I learned to put a little on my fingers and rubbed it in to the vaginal opening and surrounding areas every night. Just like applying moisturizer to face and hands before bedtime. I also learned from my doctors and from reading scientific literature that vaginal estrogen is not absorbed into the blood stream. It's topical and safe to use but I'd check that out with your own doctor if you think you'd like to try that.

Happy Holidays to you, Kristi. Will you please come back here and update us?

You never have to accept living like that, and you are not an old lady!! I had some vaginal issues develop years after menopause (burning, having to go pee excessively, etc.) and went to a urologist who recommended estrodial. I told her I had tried that before, and it just burned. She then explained that what was suggested on the box was all wrong. I followed her instructions on using a pea size amount every other day and low and behold after months and months of suffering my symptoms all went away. I’m 72 and have an incredible sex life now!! I also changed my diet, eliminated all processed food and sugar, and started exercising! I feel amazing and lucky!! Never accept age as an excuse. You can find a way out!!

@kpederso I see you mentioned that your doctor "ordered a sequence analysis of 9 genes & my cancer diagnosis combined." I would be very interested in that testing to see what info it would show based on your experience. Do you know what that test was called? Thanks!