Assisted-living, memory care: How did you find a good facility?

@SusanEllen66, I made your post into a new discussion to help gather tips from people who have looked for assisted living and memory care for themselves or for a loved one. You're so wise to start looking now.

@trishaanderson @sueinmn @bayviewgal @maryvc, can you start off the discussion? How did you get started to find assisted living care? What were your non-negotiables? In looking at facilities, what have you learned to look for?

I’m not sure where you live, but in my state (NC), there is financial help from the state to pay for Assisted Living and Memory Care facilities or units. Most Memory Care units in our state are located inside Assisted Living facilities, but not all. Most Nursing Homes also have dementia sections. But nursing home residents get their help from Medicaid for those who qualify.

The assistance here is called Special Assistance and there are income and asset criteria for qualification. You might check your state to see if there is a comparable program. An estate planning attorney might be able to explain legal ways to qualify. And, the director at a facility can help provide info on this too.

My state has a website that list all the Assisted Living and Memory Care facilities, along with the results of their state inspections, along with recommendations and followups. They provide a star rating to show compliance with rules and guidelines. You can search by name, city or county to see how facilities fare.

I searched for a facility in a more rural county when needing to place my cousin, because it was smaller and the operator was experienced as her own mother had had dementia. Their staff had been there for years with little turnover. It was old, but very clean. I went for visits without my cousin, prior to her admission. The place I selected treated us like royalty. I toured 4 other facilities too. The one I chose was not the most luxurious, but felt right for her and I never had any regrets.

Good luck with your search. I hope you find what you are looking for.

We looked up all the places within our preferred geographical range, essentially in our city and surroundings. Then visited the ones that looked appealing. We visited a number of them. Most were ok; one was smelly. We went with a large corporate-owned one. It was very good but did not have the personal attention we wanted. So we found a residential care house, several residents in a large house with professional aides. Their cooking is also professional and a world of difference from the large, corporate place! It's been perfect.

Trust your gut and your eyes and ears. Visit every potential candidate, and visit their website to see if there are any negative reviews. The State Board may have a rating or even public records of censure/fines/infractions. The AARP might help, FB and Twitter might have pages dealing with this type of search.

Food quality is sometimes hit and miss. It might be brought in from a commercial kitchen, it may be cooked on the premises. Neither case is predictive of quality. Too salty, too much breading, too much fat, there may be many complaints.

@SusanEllen66
I applaud you for planning ahead. I found a good government resource about long term care facilities. Toward end of article are list of resources that should help find out what is available in your area. There is also a link with tips on how to choose a facility.

National Institute on Aging:
https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/assisted-living-and-nursing-homes/long-term-care-facilities-assisted-living-nursing-homes
You might also search your state's Human Services website.

Do you have a timeframe when plan on moving?

@SusanEllen66 When we needed to find care for my mother-in-law, my husband couldn't leave work during the day, so he arranged to visit at or after supper time. It turned out to be a perfect strategy! We saw how the staff operated after administration left for the day, and the level of staffing on hand during the very heavy care time. It was very revealing, and quickly narrowed his choice to just one place. We also needed assurance that medical assistance was accepted after her funds ran out.

When my Mom was making her own choice, she knew exactly where she wanted to go, a continuum of care facility that was familiar to our family (long history of residence) that again would eventually accept MA. This place was also close to my sister and me, and coincidentally by the time she moved in my daughter was a staff nurse.

What attracted Mom, and us, was open friendly staff who interacted with every resident on their level, activities that appealed to her, meals made on-site from scratch, on-site hairdresser, and it was clean and bright. Also location was important to Mom - away from busy roads with homes and trees outside the windows, not parking lots and high rise buildings, and a safe yard/patio for relaxing and visiting with energetic great-grandchildren.

Finally, important to me as the money person, each place had an on-site bookkeeper/ accountant. When services needed increased that was important for me to get answers for new charges (and sometimes to dispute them)

I started with touring a Memory Care facility. And i made sure I had all my questions ready...from how often can i visit, how often can i take my husband out and about...to, what did they do to calm him down or to refuse to do what is asked of him. I made it very clear I didn't want sedation!!!
I really liked the director...the layout...and also met another "young" resident. My husband is only 63 and most of the residents looked to be in their late 70's - 90's so it was nice to see someone else in their 60's.
My suggestion is maybe ask around, read reviews, etc. but mainly tour the facility and see how things are run and how the nurses interact with the residents.

Can all the contributors share the name of the facility and state? It may be helpful to someone.

That would be helpful!