Adult Grandchildren ungrateful or what?

Posted by Judyinjeans. @judyingenes, Jun 16, 2023

Am I being unreasonable to expect recognition and a simple thank you for gifts sent to adult grandkids? I am so upset right now; I’m almost making myself sick.
I am talking about my younger son’s 2 children who have never sent a thank you (even a texted one) without my son telling them to. His kids are on their own and his daughter just graduated from college. We don’t live near one another but do keep in touch through out the year.
This past 12 months I have sent Christmas and birthday gifts and again no unprompted response! My granddaughter just graduated from college and again no response for a wonderful gift that I sent to her.
Why does this make me so upset? Am I being unreasonable?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Just Want to Talk Support Group.

My problem is I said something that hurt my Granddaughter and I don't remember what I said. She is now mad at me and says she is done with me and my great grandchildren too. I apologized and said I was sorry but I guess its over. This is my only family except for my Son and grandson. Just do not know what to do now.

REPLY
@chelland67

My problem is I said something that hurt my Granddaughter and I don't remember what I said. She is now mad at me and says she is done with me and my great grandchildren too. I apologized and said I was sorry but I guess its over. This is my only family except for my Son and grandson. Just do not know what to do now.

Jump to this post

I’m so sorry this happened to you, it’s heartbreaking for you to have to deal with this. I think sometimes young people just don’t think about things the way our generation did, it’s very sad. When I was working I would actually hear young people talk about their parents and how much money they will inherit from their death, I would say to them how can you say such a thing, looking forward to money from the death of a loved one, honestly they would just stare at me with a blank face. I have four grandchildren and I truly believe that it all comes down from the parents, not enough rules and lack of respect is what’s missing, everyone is too busy surviving and they grow up too fast. Please try not to let this make you feel bad, honestly even if you did say something wrong you have apologized and that should be enough, stay strong.

REPLY

So sorry this happened to you.. Don't give up! Write and put your true feelings are! Maybe a special time that you both shared. The world has turned so heartless in alot of ways. Hugs❤️

REPLY

You are not being unrealistic to want a thank you or some kind of appreciation for the gift you gave them.
It’s very rude of your grandchildren to not acknowledge the gifts you are giving them!
I think it’s today’s society and lack of being appreciative when being the recipients of a gift.
What if you stopped giving your grandchildren a gift?
Would it cause great commotion in your family?

REPLY
@freelas

You are not being unrealistic to want a thank you or some kind of appreciation for the gift you gave them.
It’s very rude of your grandchildren to not acknowledge the gifts you are giving them!
I think it’s today’s society and lack of being appreciative when being the recipients of a gift.
What if you stopped giving your grandchildren a gift?
Would it cause great commotion in your family?

Jump to this post

It might cause a commotion...My other son tells me that's just how his brothers kids are. And I shouldn't expect anything of them. But I shouldn't punish them because they weren't brought up right.... He wouldn't let his own kids do that. But, then his family is still together and he is in touch with his kids all the time. The grandchildren (grown) that are my problem, come from a divorced couple and for many years my son didn't have much communication with either of them.
Maybe it's just me. Why can't I give for the joy of giving to them and let it go? Right? Do I need...what? Adoration? I never thought I was THAT type! Maybe I am!?!

REPLY

This is really frustrating for me, too. My brother's kids always send thank you's but my sister's kids don't even acknowledge that a gift was received which means I don't always even KNOW if they got it or not. When they were little kids I gave them the benefit of the doubt but as adults I don't give them gifts anymore for that reason.

REPLY
@judyingenes

It might cause a commotion...My other son tells me that's just how his brothers kids are. And I shouldn't expect anything of them. But I shouldn't punish them because they weren't brought up right.... He wouldn't let his own kids do that. But, then his family is still together and he is in touch with his kids all the time. The grandchildren (grown) that are my problem, come from a divorced couple and for many years my son didn't have much communication with either of them.
Maybe it's just me. Why can't I give for the joy of giving to them and let it go? Right? Do I need...what? Adoration? I never thought I was THAT type! Maybe I am!?!

Jump to this post

It’s purely an issue about common courtesy, a good character trait that is needed in all aspects of life. Good manners start at home and although I understand the way things are today with busier parents and more single parent families, we must still strive for good manners, I don’t think we’re asking for adoration, just some good old fashioned respect.

REPLY

The fault lies with your son and the values he has not instilled in your grandchildren. You should have talked to your son before now. If children are taught from a young age to send a short note it would have carried over into adulthood.

REPLY

My only grandson sometimes answers texts or it may take weeks for an answer. His grandfather is seriously ill. No calls or answers from him. He doesn't seem to care at all. I told him if his grandfather passes i won't both him because he would be buried before he got around to answering .
These young adults have no manners and show no respect.
It hurts my feelings so much. I'm ready to give up.

REPLY
@linda6491

The fault lies with your son and the values he has not instilled in your grandchildren. You should have talked to your son before now. If children are taught from a young age to send a short note it would have carried over into adulthood.

Jump to this post

@linda6491 Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect! We’re glad you’re here!

REPLY
Please sign in or register to post a reply.