1. < Mental Health

I am bipolar II, therapist convinced my late mother was bipolar I

Posted by Barb @amberpep, Oct 1, 2016

I mentioned this in a post I answered earlier this morning, but it's way down the list, so I wanted some input from you all. I've been seeing my therapist for 12 years and a Psychiatrist for about as long. I won't go into detail, but I was an only child in a very sick, alcoholic family .... all of them way back the maternal side. Life was not fun .... I lived in total terror because I knew my mother was going to "pack my suitcase and put it on the porch when I came home from school and I should just get the h___ out." In my 7 year old mind, I knew she meant it. I spent the weekends at bars .... those old beer smelling, foul languaged, joints they had years ago, and I hated it. Abuse ..... physical, sexual, emotional (you rotten little SOB), mental ... I lived 100% of the time in total fear, often hiding under my bed. I had no friends as I rarely took a bath or brushed my teeth. My therapist is convinced, even though he has not interviewed my mother since she died at age 60 from liver failure, that she was Bipolar I ..... and now here I am Bipolar II.
For me it's heavily on the depressed part of the line .... I rarely wake up feeling good, alive, and ready for the day.. The "up" part for me is not the manic state often thought of in Bipolar I, but it's more a very high state of anxiety.. The meds. I take help that so it's bearable to get through another day.
I am glad to have found you all ..... I have no friends down here, go nowhere and have no "oomph" to do so .... and sadly, my kids totally avoid anything even edging on anything about mental health .... no matter where it comes from. So here I am 3-4 hours from where I lived up til a year ago and loved, in a place I don't like, and feeling worse than ever.
Another pity party, I know, and I'm so sorry ..... I just don't think some days it's worth the energy. Thank you so much for listening ... it helps.
Abby

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Moderator
Colleen Young, Connect Director | @colleenyoung | Oct 1, 2016

@amberpep, thank you for starting this discussion about bipolar, specifically bipolar II. I am tagging fellow members who have also talked about bipolar disorder. @trouble4343 @birdbear @lindabf @bbams @lesbatts @tomgrinley @grandmajan @jbyrd @trainwreck54 I hope you'll read Amber's message and share your experiences.

Amber, we're glad you found us here on Connect too. It is all too common that the people around us avoid talking about mental health. It's not a taboo subject here 🙂

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Barb | @amberpep | Oct 1, 2016

Thank you Colleen ... I am very glad I found this site ..... yes, often we/I feel very much alone. It's hurtful with my kids because I know at least part of this is genetic.
Abby

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safetyshield | @safetyshield | Oct 3, 2016

@amberpep living with bipolar is very difficult I had a friend who is bipolar and seen others with bipolar in families and work. It is very difficult to live with the ups and downs and I am glad to hear that you are seeing a therapist and it sounds that even though you have these bad moments that you are aware of them and want to get better. I know it is hard to see it now but it also seems you are in better control of your emotions than others who just deny there existence. I know there are meds coming out that are for bipolar depression and maybe continue talking to your therapist about changing the meds. Each person is an individual so one med may not work on you like others. Sorry I do not have a ready answer for you but depression hits people in other ways. So keep in contact with us and work with your therapist. Best of everything

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2 replies
Barb | @amberpep | Oct 3, 2016
In reply to @safetyshield "@amberpep living with bipolar is very difficult I had a friend who is bipolar and seen..." + (show)
@safetyshield

@amberpep living with bipolar is very difficult I had a friend who is bipolar and seen others with bipolar in families and work. It is very difficult to live with the ups and downs and I am glad to hear that you are seeing a therapist and it sounds that even though you have these bad moments that you are aware of them and want to get better. I know it is hard to see it now but it also seems you are in better control of your emotions than others who just deny there existence. I know there are meds coming out that are for bipolar depression and maybe continue talking to your therapist about changing the meds. Each person is an individual so one med may not work on you like others. Sorry I do not have a ready answer for you but depression hits people in other ways. So keep in contact with us and work with your therapist. Best of everything

Jump to this post

Hi Colleen ..... Yes, I saw on the TV today an ad for a med. called Latuda which is for Bipolar II Depression. I wrote it down to ask my Psychiatrist about next week when I see him. Mine definitely leans heavily in the depression side ... the manic side is 99% of the time high anxiety.
I don't mess around with anything re. my health .... it's too precious at my age. I do what needs to be done ASAP. Having just moved here not too long ago it's more difficult. I'm due for my annual Gyn. check, mammo., skin check (gosh all sorts of dots and spots show up at this age!), and I'm in the process of getting dentures. No fun with that as I have to either grind or puree all my food. I think I have Cream of Wheat coming out of my ears!!!! (nice picture, huh).
Take care my friend,
Abby

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Minnie1971 | @lesbatts | Oct 4, 2016
In reply to @safetyshield "@amberpep living with bipolar is very difficult I had a friend who is bipolar and seen..." + (show)
@safetyshield

@amberpep living with bipolar is very difficult I had a friend who is bipolar and seen others with bipolar in families and work. It is very difficult to live with the ups and downs and I am glad to hear that you are seeing a therapist and it sounds that even though you have these bad moments that you are aware of them and want to get better. I know it is hard to see it now but it also seems you are in better control of your emotions than others who just deny there existence. I know there are meds coming out that are for bipolar depression and maybe continue talking to your therapist about changing the meds. Each person is an individual so one med may not work on you like others. Sorry I do not have a ready answer for you but depression hits people in other ways. So keep in contact with us and work with your therapist. Best of everything

Jump to this post

I tried Latuda and it didn't do a thing for me.

REPLY
Barb | @amberpep | Oct 4, 2016

I'm sorry to hear that. I wonder if, as time goes on, it will be that way for all, or most, who take it.
Abby

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