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For caregivers of people with dementia - Strength at the Broken Places

Posted by Kim Webb @mrjohnwebb, Oct 28 8:18pm

Strength at the Broken Places

Strength isn’t the force
that carries you through untouched;
it’s the quiet resilience
that emerges in the kitchen at dawn,
the weight of a long night
still settling on your shoulders,
and yet, you rise.
You thought you had to hold everything,
keep it all from falling apart,
but the truth is, you’ve learned
how to carry what breaks
and still find grace.

You imagined there would be answers,
but now you know the power
of holding questions instead.
Strength isn’t the absence of doubt,
but the willingness to move forward
even as you stumble.

It lives in the repeated acts:
the calm voice in the face of confusion,
the gentle hand that helps them remember,
the love that persists
through each forgotten name.

Strength grows not in perfection,
but in the cracks,
where hope faltered
and was rebuilt,
again and again,
shaped by each new morning.

You do not need to be whole
to be powerful,
only present,
willing to be made strong
in the places where the world seems fragile.

There is no map for this,
but there is a truth hidden in the quiet:
what you give each day
is not diminished by weariness.
It is, in fact, made more precious
by the broken places
where your love has taken root,
where it will bloom,
because of, not despite,
the cracks that let it grow.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers: Dementia Support Group.

Kim Webb | @mrjohnwebb | Oct 30 10:47am
In reply to @labrown "So beautiful. I needed this to remind me how my husband is feeling inside. I know..." + (show)
@labrown

So beautiful. I needed this to remind me how my husband is feeling inside. I know sometimes he has to feel like everything he knows is shifting in the wrong direction. I tell him all the time it’s me and him and we are in this together… but this poem helps me to understand he has fears and he has to know I am his rock, he can always count on me to be there with him on this journey. Thank you for sharing it.

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He has you, his rock. He is so fortunate. I tell my husband the following everyday:
“I am with you. You are safe. You are loved.” It gives him comfort and helps have a better, happier day.

REPLY
rbcare | @rbcare | Oct 30 2:43pm
In reply to @mrjohnwebb "Lest we forget how this terrible disease impacts the person with dementia, here’s one from my..." + (show)
@mrjohnwebb

Lest we forget how this terrible disease impacts the person with dementia, here’s one from my husband John’s perspective:

The Quiet War Within

The battle stirs inside me,
silent but fierce,
a slow undoing of all I once knew.
No clash of swords,
no enemy to name,
just the steady slipping away
of the self I thought was mine to keep.

But in the stillness of this war,
there is a deeper presence.
I feel it in the spaces between words,
in the quiet moments when your hands
reach for mine.
A love beyond this body,
beyond this mind,
an unspoken knowing that
even as I fade,
something sacred holds me still.

I fight not against the world,
but against the tides inside—
memories washed out to sea,
thoughts pulled into the deep.
Yet I am not lost,
for I am held by more than these fragile thoughts.

Your love—
strong, unwavering,
is the ground beneath my feet.
I feel it in the warmth of your touch,
in the steady rhythm of your breath beside me,
and in those moments of grace
when the storm quiets,
and I remember:
I am loved. I am safe.

I endure not for myself,
but for the love that surrounds me,
for the hands that hold me steady,
for the faces that are still etched
in my soul,
even as my mind lets go.

And when the night closes in,
when the rage and confusion swell,
I turn to you,
to the love that binds us all—
something greater, deeper,
a force that will not break,
no matter how this war ends.

In this quiet war within,
I fight not to win,
but to feel,
to hold close the love
that is my strength,
my comfort,
and the only truth
that endures forever.

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Kim, I enjoyed your beautiful poem "Strength at the Broken Places". Your husband's wonderful words captured so completely what I believe my wife of almost 61 years has tried to express to me and we both cry and hug each other for a moment of comfort.

I am a retired Edward Jones employee. and I am blessed to have you both as part of my journey, Bob C.

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1 reply
Kim Webb | @mrjohnwebb | Oct 30 3:12pm
In reply to @rbcare "Kim, I enjoyed your beautiful poem "Strength at the Broken Places". Your husband's wonderful words captured..." + (show)
@rbcare

Kim, I enjoyed your beautiful poem "Strength at the Broken Places". Your husband's wonderful words captured so completely what I believe my wife of almost 61 years has tried to express to me and we both cry and hug each other for a moment of comfort.

I am a retired Edward Jones employee. and I am blessed to have you both as part of my journey, Bob C.

Jump to this post

Hello Bob,
You must know that I retired from Jones. Can I ask which Bob C you are? The Mayo may prevent us from sharing that info but feel free to reach out to Michael Jones for my contact info. Nice to know you are here. Let’s “Connect”.

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saa76 | @saa76 | Oct 31 3:00pm

was so tender and loving, offering insight into the last vestiges of a clear mind.

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deesdottir | @deesdottir | Nov 4 8:05pm

Who is the author of Strength in the Broken Places?
I'd like to share it, giving credit to author.
Thanks...

REPLY
Kim Webb | @mrjohnwebb | Nov 4 11:18pm

John and Kim Webb with support from Chatgpt. John has Lewy Body dementia and was an English literature major. We always loved poetry - it was kind of our thing. Now we use poetry to evoke the feelings of being a caregiver and the person with dementia. It is just the experience of one couple but of course everyone experiences it in a different way.

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1995victoria | @1995victoria | 5 days ago

I just got this from the library, I don't remember who referred me to this book, but you might find it helpful

Slow dancing with a stranger lost and found in the age of alzheimer's
Comer, Meryl

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