What are your tips for staying independent at your own home?

Many people say they’d prefer to grow old in their own homes. What are your tips for remaining independent as long as possible. What do you do to:
- Keep up with home maintenance and housekeeping?
- Avoid injuries around the house?
- Combat loneliness or stay connected?

Any other tips?

October 25, 2023: Update from the Community Director

The knowledge exchange shared in this discussion helped to create this article written for the Mayo Clinic app and website. Knowledge for patients by patients and beyond Mayo Clinic Connect. Thank you for all your tips.

Aging at home: Advice for staying independent

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

@colleenyoung

Here's my tip: light bulbs, ice cream and lunch

Huh? you ask. Well, this isn't really my tip but a quote from neuroscientist, Daniel Levitin, who wrote the book " Successful Aging: A Neuroscientist Explores the Power and Potential of Our Lives."
https://www.cbc.ca/radio/thecurrent/the-current-for-jan-13-2020-1.5424683/a-neuroscientist-s-tips-for-helping-the-brain-age-well-1.5425549
Let me explain:
"When it comes to planning for quality of life in old age, Levitin recommends people ask themselves and their aging family members three simple questions posed by Joseph F. Coughlin, director of MIT's Agelab:

- Who will change my light bulbs?
Meaning, who can do the chores around the house that become difficult or dangerous as we age? Who can you call for help? If you need to pay someone to do those tasks, how much will that cost, and what services are readily available to you?

- What if I want an ice cream cone?
As people's social circles shrink in old age, Levitin said, it's a good idea to set up their lives in a way that makes it easy to walk down the street for an ice cream, a coffee, or a trip to the local pub. That's about leaving room for spontaneity, he said, and guarding against isolation.

- Who are you going to have lunch with?
"Are you living in a place, and have you arranged your life in such a way, that you have somebody to have lunch with once or twice a week?" Levitin asked."

What's your lightbulb, ice cream and lunch?

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I live alone in my own house, but hire help for some things; such as replacing light bulbs, etc! Also cleaning floors, windows, flower beds, moving furniture. Anything I can no longer do. I have a couple who work for $25 an hr. each.
As for groceries, my daughter and son-in-law take me to buy groceries, pick up meds., see Dr., go to library, sometimes to Church. Lunch is usually here alone.

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I live in a rural area but in my own home, which I do not want to leave. I had 2 strokes about 18 months ago and spent 5 weeks in a nursing home. My daughter and hubby brought me home and moved in with me for 4 months. I was using a walker, but gradually got off it. They live 7 miles away and check on me frequently; also take me to grocery store, Dr., library, chair yoga class, sometimes Church. I have a nearby couple who do anything I can't manage for $25 an hr. I will be 88 next month, so thankful!

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@llynch17056

I live in Louisiana. My community is very walkable and friendly and there’s a community pool and two lakes. My minimum steps a day is 5,000. Today I have 9,000. Sometimes more. Louisiana is a very green and plant colorful “tropical” climate. Plants and lawns love it. Normally get enough rain for everything to be happy. Spring is fabulous. Warm and colorful. Summer is a hot humid beast. I cannot walk outside from sometime in June until sometimes well into October. I walk the stacks at the library. Fall is wonderful and fresh especially after the brutal summer. Summer is always brutal, but now I have pool access. Yay. Winter can be drizzly, but only a few times gets really cold, below 35 and it warms up quickly. Just rnough cd to appreciate the warmth of Spring. If it weren’t for Summer it would ve great.

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Where in Louisiana are you? I am also in Louisiana, but don’t consider my area walkable.

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@walk4life

Where in Louisiana are you? I am also in Louisiana, but don’t consider my area walkable.

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I am in BR

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I'm 83. I recently lost my husband of 58 years. I survived treatment for breast cancer soon after that. I have scoliosis and peripheral neuropathy caused by the chemo which really bugs me! I live alone on 25 acres in an area of 30 homes behind a security gate. All of us have 20 to 60 acres .
My son comes out on weekends and repairs things for me. My health insurance takes me to doctor appointments.
My son takes me to the store occasionally and to get my hair cut.
I buy a lot from Amazon.
It is beautiful here and I love it.
My health insurance pays for a device that I can call 911 with if I fall.
My daughter 8 miles away will buy me food and takes me to Costco. I'll stay here until I can't.

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@dorisjeanne

I live alone in my own house, but hire help for some things; such as replacing light bulbs, etc! Also cleaning floors, windows, flower beds, moving furniture. Anything I can no longer do. I have a couple who work for $25 an hr. each.
As for groceries, my daughter and son-in-law take me to buy groceries, pick up meds., see Dr., go to library, sometimes to Church. Lunch is usually here alone.

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I have groceries delivered after an online order. Not expensive and saves me a lot of trouble.

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My wife and I moved to VIrginia in 2020 (from VT).

It was difficult for me to connect with people here. At first, that was Covid. I made slow progress since
then; but then my wife divorced me (in March). She and my stepson and our dog were, essentially, my whole
life. I do have health problems and had one flare up during our 4 years here.

I moved to a nearby town, more to offer. But I still found it difficult to connect with people.

I keep fairly busy, but don't see a way forward from here. I feel like I've come to the end of the line. As if this weren't enough, I had my drivers license suspended 3 weeks ago. I have had some trouble with driving since the divorce stuff started. I've struggled with isolation much of my life, but nothing like this. There are a couple of places I go which are on the bus line. I will be trying to get a pt time home health aide and start looking at other senior housing options, maybe with an extra support or two and some number of activities.
Almost anything would be an improvement.

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@jefflv123

My wife and I moved to VIrginia in 2020 (from VT).

It was difficult for me to connect with people here. At first, that was Covid. I made slow progress since
then; but then my wife divorced me (in March). She and my stepson and our dog were, essentially, my whole
life. I do have health problems and had one flare up during our 4 years here.

I moved to a nearby town, more to offer. But I still found it difficult to connect with people.

I keep fairly busy, but don't see a way forward from here. I feel like I've come to the end of the line. As if this weren't enough, I had my drivers license suspended 3 weeks ago. I have had some trouble with driving since the divorce stuff started. I've struggled with isolation much of my life, but nothing like this. There are a couple of places I go which are on the bus line. I will be trying to get a pt time home health aide and start looking at other senior housing options, maybe with an extra support or two and some number of activities.
Almost anything would be an improvement.

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Please do seek a compatible senior living arrangement. My mother, who was lost after my Dad's death (53 years) and losing the ability to travel, selected a series of senior living arrangements, and learned what was important to her as she aged.
Finally, she chose an apartment in an organization that offered a "continuum of care." At first she was quite independent, choosing only to have her main meal in the dining room, and participate in activities and use their shuttle to do her weekly shopping. As her health declined to the point where us kids were not "enough" she had daily visits to help her dress, undress and shower, med management, and 2-3 meals a day. If she had needed it, she would also have been eligible to move (within the building) to Memory Care, or a few miles to a skilled nursing facility.
She was able to participate as she desired in the activities, and discovered a talent for watercolor - in addition to finding friends to play cards, work puzzles and have coffee. I can tell you that as a man in that setting, you would be welcome company. My Mom and her friends often mentioned missing the (platonic) company of men and were happy with the few male residents, who changed the tenor of many activities.
I miss the many lunches and activities I shared with my Mom and her friends there, and will not hesitate to seek such a home if I find myself alone and needing both help and company.
If you are looking for a place, be sure to ask to visit at mealtime and share a table with residents - more than once if possible. Also, if you are of a particular faith, check out these resources within your faith community. My friend's parents have been in their continuum of care home for 20 years, and as they age having pastoral services right there is a blessing to them (they are 95 and 100 years old now.)
Good luck finding a good place to land.

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my son kindly put up a handrail in an area i kept tripping. besides being helpful to get safely up to steps the love behind it works too. he put up a nice hand grab so it is also stabilizing. i try not to have too many throw rugs i can trip on. i use a walker without wheels i am new to walking aids. also, i need help for a number of reasons. my frustration is real with most usually easy things. there is a group you can pay for called TENT in my community who work for the community volunteers step up and do lots of nice things. i hope you can find something in your community to help like they are. sometimes they make my bed or sweep.

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I just turned 90 and live in my own home. I am pretty much independent. I have a housekeeper who comes every 3 weeks and thoroughly cleans the house. I have deliberately started to move more slowly because I am afraid of falling. Having said that, I am able to do everything else necessary. I drive wherever I need to be. I have a medical appointment this afternoon. It is 23 miles away and I will have to drive on the freeway but I know that I can do it. I do all my own shopping, cooking, laundry, etc. I am extremely fortunate that I have no major illnesses and no signs of dementia. My husband died after 62 years together. My grief is deep and although I have had counselling it is hard for me to accept his death.

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