Lost my best friend

In reply to @mommacandy I am profoundly sorry for your loss, and I cannot imagine how you are feeling about the loss of your friend. I have lost many of my own, and while I never believed that "time would heal all wounds," I found that in due time it does, and it may take a long time for you, just as it did for me. Grief is like a spiral and comes in waves, and we often don't know what stage we are in it, only that we are in "it." Be kind to yourself. I had to learn how to do it as well.

Mommacandy,
I'm so sorry for the death of your good friend. That's so hard. My husband died two months ago. I know the sorrow you are feeling because I'm feeling the same. However, also be joyous! Your friend and my husband are up in Heaven with God and Jesus and are happy! They are totally out of pain and they both know that we will be up there with them eventually. It's just hard at the moment for us. What you do now is pray to God about how you are feeling and ask for his help during this lonely time. I do that and I get that help from God.

God and only God decides who dies when no matter how it looked like your friend forecast his own death. He just figured it out. You didn't leave your friend in that hospital. You left his shell that he lived in. He was already up in Heaven by the time you left. There was a TV preacher I used to watch who always said, "Sudden death, sudden glory!" I believe that is so true and was so for your friend and my husband. My husband died in front of me in our home. I knew he was up in Heaven even when they got his heart going again. I was right. His heart stopped again.
Mommacandy, you and I have to just keep praying and being thankful for the loved ones we have left here on earth. Love your family and your pets and enjoy each day with them. You never know when it may be their last or yours. Give yourself some time to heal.
I wish you and your family the best. I'll remember you all and the pets in my prayers.
PML

My condolences on your loss. I lost my wife two years ago. She passed suddenly in my house from a stroke. I took a GriefShare course, which helped me go from grief to joy. I’m grateful for the life we had together for 49 years and each new day that God brings. Blessings on your recovery.

It’s truly heartbreaking to read your stories about the death of cherished loved ones, the pain n is so acute that I feel it inside of me. I’ve grown up my whole life feeling a strong sense of loss because I didn’t have any relatives, you see most of them were killed in WW11, innocent men, women and children taken from their homes and murdered like unwanted trash. I had some old photos from my mother and when she was alive we would sit together and she shared stories about them, it helped me to get a sense of who they were, in some way it helped to give them life, in my dreams I would see them and share my thoughts with them. As I grew up I struggled a lot with anger and resentment and it was slowly eating up my life and robbing me of feeling happiness. I watched my parents make a good life for me and themselves, good friends to share with and taking all that life has to offer. Sometimes I didn’t understand how they were able to do this but when I explained to them how I was feeling it was it was said to me that for those of us who survived the holocaust have an obligation to live life to the fullest because we are the ones who were left behind to carry on for ourselves and also for those who didn’t have the opportunity to do so. So it seems that in doing so we are paying tribute to our loved ones because they want this for us. On a final note I truly believe that they are never far away from us and that they are enjoying life with us. I realize that my story is about loss of loved ones in a different context but it’s loss all the same. I do know that time is the healer of all things and having faith will give you the peace and strength to carry on, trust in God and the answers will come to you, amen.

in reply to @mommacandy You know, I was thinking about you post all night, and I wanted to plant a seed in your head/heart. It took me a long time to resolve my grief over losing a very close friend. However, I discovered that it is possible to have grief and gratitude at the same time, one hand to hold each. It is an interesting concept that I hope you will discover once the rawness of your friend's passing feels a bit gentler.

i heard my phone ding this morning and the first thought i had was "he's awake, wonder what he needs" before i remembered...you see he had been staying with us while he was sick...in essence my hubby was helping take care of me while i took care of him but in truth both hubby and my adult kids had been taking care of both of us...we're going to his place this weekend to get it cleaned up etc and TRY to get as much done as possible...prob will take a few days to get everything ready for taking him home to the "holler". We have a LOT of mowing, weed eating, chain sawing etc to do, cleaning, a flagpoie to set, a monument to build and so forth before we take his ashes back to his home to their final resting place.. I own the land there and that was his request...
Thank you all for listening to this silly old woman who should have it pulled together by now but i don't and i don't know how long its gonna take before i do...i know my hubby has to be tired of me crying...the photo is him before he got sick...when he was still strong and working on his dream homestead...

Frouke,
I'm so sorry to hear about your family. That must have been terrible for you and your parents! I understand how you felt lonely and lost. It's hard to imagine that there could be such evil in this world but it has been there from the beginning as it states in the Bible. Unfortunately, back then communication was very limited; (no computers or TV) and often no one knew what was happening! That's why President Eisenhower said when they discovered the concentration camps to take pictures of all this or those bastards (his word, not mine) will say it never happened! And some of them do say that today. My father was in WWII in the Navy. He was very upset about all of that which took place in the holocaust. He said it just made him fight harder.
I'm glad you found some peace. Your family members are all up in Heaven with God and Jesus. You will be with them eventually. I wish you the best.
PML

Thank you so very much for your kind words, I was feeling unsure about what I had written and started doubting myself. I’m not in a very good place these days and I’m aware that my comments are getting more personal, it feels like more of my past is wanting to come out. Thankfully I finally have an appointment with a psychiatrist which took so very long to get, perhaps this will be a good thing for me. I feel very grateful that you reached out to me so I may rest easier now, you’re a good person.

Frouke,
I'm glad that I could be of a little help with the way you are feeling. Your comments were very interesting albeit sad too, about your family that you never had a chance to meet. Have you ever read the book called "The Wall" by John Hersey? It's an account of how the holocaust went down in Poland. They literally built a wall around part of Warsaw and imprisoned the Jewish people in there! It's a true story and gives one an understanding of what happened there in 1939. It's been a while since I've read this book. I'm going to read it again. We should never forget the evil that took place in our world and must try and do everything to ensure that it never happens again.
I'm glad you have an appointment with a psychiatrist. I hope it helps.
I'll say a prayer for you.
PML