Does your depression feel like a heavy weight draining your energy?

Totally agree! Important to acknowledge that YOU are indeed worth the "splurge" and it does not have to be outrageously expensive. Identify what that splurge would be for you, and it can be more than one activity/item. Rotate the chosen item/activity. For me, I discovered a yogurt brand Noosa, and although it really is not all that healthy, I absolutely love the lemon flavored one. (Kinda pricey for a small container, but sooooo good!). All I need is about a couple of teaspoons mixed into my Chobani yogurt, topped with a sprinkle of crushed toasted pecans. I then place the small ramekin into the freezer for about 6 mins or so, to get real cold and even firm up. That is my favorite dessert since I don't eat ice cream. Benefits: the protein in Greek yogurt is very helpful indeed, as well as that of the pecans, which can be substituted with toasted crushed walnuts (rich omegas). Sometimes I splurge a bit further by squirting a bit of Red Whip (fat free) on top, then mix into the icy cold yogurt. Creamy and so yummy!
Other splurge possibilities: Find a reputable nail salon in your town, check out possible discount days and treat yourself to a pedicure. I love the massage of feet/legs which are included, and the final result of smooth feet sans the nasties that the deft attendant removes from around the nail, etc. Perhaps you may want a manicure? Ask about mani-pedi specials.

There are many ways that one can "splurge" without costing much (or maybe absolutamente nada).
Start out by identifying what "splurge" means for you, make a list, check off the ones that are doable, and then go for it.😊

I feel this way since my husband died. He was the only man in my life and we had a long marriage - 59 years. Now I am empty. I just leave the dirty dishes on the counter because I don't care. Eventually they get in the dishwasher. Most days I don't even bother to get dressed. Because why? I have no desire to go anywhere or see anyone. Trips are only to the grocery store, bank and library. I have a couple of friends I see on occasion and we go out to lunch. While I do enjoy this, I am always happy to be back home in my peace and quiet. I am not a believer in drugs, mostly because I usually have a bad reaction to them. I just turned 90 years old so my time on earth is limited. I don't care.

Hi, Shelley. I'm sorry you feel that you're nothing. I'm sure that is not actually the case!

When I'm feeling worthless (which happens more often than you might think), the first thing I remember to do is show myself compassion.

It's not easy, especially since becoming disabled. Six years of constant pain has left me exhausted, more tired than I would have thought possible. Add to that the social cost of isolation; loss of purpose; financial worries; frustration of being unable to participate in my hobbies; etc. etc.

Then I take a step back. It's hard to be objective about myself; I'm far too self-critical. I had to learn to appreciate myself, and most of all, to *forgive* myself.

Have you done that? Have you forgiven yourself? It's a good place to start.

Excellent post! Thank you.

Here's one way to splurge on yourself -- show yourself compassion.

For years and years (and years), I would beat myself up over my imperfections. I finally learned to accept my faults and to be patient.

It helps a lot!

As someone said, "Would you be friends with someone who is as unforgiving and critical of you as you are of yourself?"

That's a good reality-check for me.

scottrl
Nope 👎🏼 I blame me for being so weak. In 2005 I had 2 recreational accidents that ended life as I knew it. Had to eventually sell my business...who wants a cognitive impaired person preparing their complex tax returns? Then the full disability came. I am so useless it's ridiculous. I completely understand your situation, loss of hobbies, isolation etc. It really feels like I'm being punished 👿👿 ShelleyW

I hear you about the "punished" sentiment. I have to remind myself that in my case, that is a perception, not an objective reality.

Sometimes I also remind myself that my life in like the movie "Flight of the Phoenix". Have you seen it?

In the meantime, I'm giving you an assignment.

Visit my YouTube channel and listen to the Bonus Episode, "Scott's Talk at TCU". (It's audio only.) I want you pay particular attention to the part where I talk about three dimensions of recovery:
Survive
Sustain
Succeed

I am very interested in your thoughts. They would be very *useful* to me. (See what I did there?)
You can comment on YT, or here, or email me.
I'm completely serious.

Click here: http://www.youtube.com/@srlucado/videos

(Same goes for anyone who reads this.)

scottrl,
Thanx, I really appreciate your help...today was a complete meltdown, so in bed early. It may be a little bit, but I will listen to your YouTube. Your "useful " trick wasn't missed, it actually made me grin, to think I am of any use to anyone.😴💤😴

Have a good snooze.

If you're anything like me, after some decent sleep things look brighter, or at least a little less gray.

I look forward to your comments!

scottrl,
Okay, I will agree that a little less gray. Brighter hasn't been in my vocabulary for a longggggg time. Decent sleep, is that still a real thing? I have not had a decent night sleep since....forever it seems.💤💤💤

Come on now Shelley!!!! You have been of use to so many here on Mayo Clinic Connect. Offering advice, insight, encouragement, and experience. I just wish you could take your own advice. You beat yourself up everyday. I hope there comes a time you find you can forgive and offer yourself compassion.