How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

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@samcal9977zz

by the way, re the aging body failing (I am 63, going on 134)...I am in the process of drafting a complaint to original body manufacturer. If the Big Boss relents and agrees to give us all an upgrade, I will let the rest of the folks know.

I am presently searching for a bribe package to present The Big Boss. Not sure how to approach things, though here in Jersey, we usually start a good bribe session with some pastries.

What do folks think? Cheese Danish or an Apple Fritter? hmmm, maybe some apple cider donuts...those are pretty good....

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I'd send him two slices of cake one called Mortal Cake that gives the pleasure of being mortal; the other reverses the state of mortality.

I think a boss of all bosses stuck-in immortality would appreciate it from a mortal.
(oh, don't bother telling which is which; a BOSS must know it)

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@captboat

Even a fooler and be fooled more than once…

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"Pity the fool !"
---- Mr. T

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@sisyphus

I'd send him two slices of cake one called Mortal Cake that gives the pleasure of being mortal; the other reverses the state of mortality.

I think a boss of all bosses stuck-in immortality would appreciate it from a mortal.
(oh, don't bother telling which is which; a BOSS must know it)

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How's the boulder business going, Sisyphus?

One step forward .... and one step back?

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@sisyphus

I'd send him two slices of cake one called Mortal Cake that gives the pleasure of being mortal; the other reverses the state of mortality.

I think a boss of all bosses stuck-in immortality would appreciate it from a mortal.
(oh, don't bother telling which is which; a BOSS must know it)

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I had a slice of immortal cake the other night for dessert ..... it'd been in the back of the fridge for months .... all-but-forgotten ... my wife swore I'd get sick if I ate it. Proved her wrong ... still here!

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@samcal9977zz

by the way, re the aging body failing (I am 63, going on 134)...I am in the process of drafting a complaint to original body manufacturer. If the Big Boss relents and agrees to give us all an upgrade, I will let the rest of the folks know.

I am presently searching for a bribe package to present The Big Boss. Not sure how to approach things, though here in Jersey, we usually start a good bribe session with some pastries.

What do folks think? Cheese Danish or an Apple Fritter? hmmm, maybe some apple cider donuts...those are pretty good....

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I couldn't wait any longer for the Big Boss. A month ago, I had a complete left hip replacement at the Veterans Administration Hospital in Madison, WI (thanks, Uncle Sam!) and, therefore, am no longer in possession of all of my OEM parts. Before they sent me off to dreamland, I asked the surgeon, "Hey Doc, can I keep the stuff you saw off of me, you know, for posterity?"
The guy was very quick and said, "Sorry, pal, but I'm working on your hip, not your butt!"
I had surgery at Mayo-St. Mary's in Rochester in 1984 and they were great. Kudos to the VA. They were just as good.

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@itchyd

I couldn't wait any longer for the Big Boss. A month ago, I had a complete left hip replacement at the Veterans Administration Hospital in Madison, WI (thanks, Uncle Sam!) and, therefore, am no longer in possession of all of my OEM parts. Before they sent me off to dreamland, I asked the surgeon, "Hey Doc, can I keep the stuff you saw off of me, you know, for posterity?"
The guy was very quick and said, "Sorry, pal, but I'm working on your hip, not your butt!"
I had surgery at Mayo-St. Mary's in Rochester in 1984 and they were great. Kudos to the VA. They were just as good.

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You sound more “bionic” than the rest of us. Do you drink WD40?

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@captboat

You sound more “bionic” than the rest of us. Do you drink WD40?

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Only when I'm REALLY constipated.😁

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A few women Comedians

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Phyllis Diller Quotes
https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/phyllis-diller-quotes
Includes:

“Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.”

- Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller • Classic Standup Routine • 1965, The Merv Griffin Show


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Joan Rivers Quotes
https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/joan-rivers-quotes
Includes:

“People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”

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Joan Rivers on the Carol Burnett Show, 1970


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Carol Burnett Quotes

Includes:

I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?

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Early Carol Burnett Stand-up (1958)


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An elderly man was lying in his hospital bed with a concerned look on his face.
A nurse stopped by and asked him what his problem was. He spoke softly in her ear.
"Oh", she said, "I'll check"
She went to the foot of the bed, lifted the sheet, looked and felt around.
"No, I don't see anything wrong," she said "You're fine"
He smiled at her and replied, "That was very nice, dear, but are my test results back ?

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@samcal9977zz

Yes, it is the Mayo Clinic, mentioned in some on screen comedy...from the movie "Airplane"

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oh so funny!

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