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Narcissistic partner, struggling to cope as I am leaving.
Mental Health | Last Active: Aug 31, 2024 | Replies (59)Comment receiving replies
Hi all. I did leave, I can't believe it, but I did! When I posted first, I planned to go in 2 weeks, it took 5 weeks. I am missing my partner, I am so sad, tired, and worried about my future, but deep down in my guts, I know I made the right choice. I don't think all I had was a trauma bond, there was a real connection, lots of good times, our love for our cats and losing them bonded us, and ease of traveling together. 10 years of life. But, the cheating, the drinking, the way he can switch, like Jekyll and Hyde. I learned, to know more about people, get in a car with them, and let them drive. Watch how they drive and treat other drivers on the road. He always feels entitled and thinks everyone drives badly, and should give him way, inpatient, and points out everyone's mistakes. He would not think that people are different, and that some people need more time to do their stuff on the road. If someone cut in front of him, it would enrage him. He always drives with lights on during day time. He told me this is for safety, but I think it is to intimidate people. Anyway, I do feel lost and really missing the home I left, I need strength to stay away from him and build my life again. If anyone going through the same or did in the past and wants to chat about it, do write a private message. I don't really talk to anyone about it, just my manager, so she knows why I am not myself at the moment. Thank you for reading my story.
Replies to "Hi all. I did leave, I can't believe it, but I did! When I posted first,..."
How courageous! I admire you for your strength in supporting yourself and what you know to be true for you.
I also want to commend you on making a big decision about your life and especially the future that you want for yourself. It takes tremendous courage to do so and so many people are not able, it’s kind of like an addiction, I’ve been through this too and once you take the first step just keep on moving forward, don’t look back because the past is over, it’s now all about you and making new friends, planning things that you want to do, best wishes for a happier life.
Yes I have. I had cosmetic violence treatment and therapy about 6 years ago The dark triad traits- narcissism sociopaths machieavellianism- typo exist on a spectrum. Keep yourself safe. Fact check everything. Beware who you listen too allow in your life and allow to influence you .You are very brave. Create your future.
I typed cosmetic I met domestic. Violence.
Red tulip, it’s hard to let go
of the familiar, bad or good. But you will find each day gets easier if you focus on seeing YOURSELF as deserving a kinder and less stressful life. I always gravitated toward that sad partner who needed to be saved, rescued. Well, it’s not my job to rescue anyone and what I ended up with was a lot of heartbreak. You don’t deserve to wake up every day wondering who you are going to get: Jekyll or Hyde.
Move forward! Don’t be afraid and don’t look back. Go girl!
@redtulip54 I've been wondering how the process was coming along. Have you ever talked with a therapist? Now might be a good time. One thought running through my mind is the grief process. Leaving a dysfunctional situation could certainly cause grief, in fact you mention the sadness you feel. Care for yourself.
Jim
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Ya gotta do what ya gotta do.
Congratulations on taking the big step.
You raise an interesting point, about being in a car with someone. I always thought that the best of someone's true personality is how they are behind the wheel. It should be a part of every job interview.
For relationships, it's amazing how many times I heard women say, 'I like him, but he drives like a maniac." Then they marry him, and guess what -- he turns out to be maniac.
Good luck to you. Stay strong.