How do you deal with aging?

Posted by prcrowe @prcrowe, Jan 1 10:04pm

How do you emotionally handle aging and knowing that you only have a limited number of years left in your life? I'm turning 80 years old in 5 months, am in quite good health, work fulltime, and am incredibly grateful for the life I have. But, I find myself obsessed with the thought that I only have "x" amount of years left in my life. I've never figured out how to live one day at a time. Any suggestions from those of you around my age or older would be SO appreciated! (I'm "kind of" spiritual, but not really religious so that's not something that seems to help with my fear.)

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Sisyphus wrote: "BUT learning attitude is also an indication of being open to new experiences=Curiosity. The most human trait that defines us -- and we pay dearly (in diseases and early disability both mental or physical) when we let it starve."

Yes!
Our minds can be continuously growing, our horizons can be ever expanding.
At 75 my mind-world is the largest it's ever been, and perhaps it will continue to grow until my last day. The thoughts with which I reach out are more gentle and accepting of all I perceive.
I can't do much to change the world, but I can try to know and love it better.

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@gloaming

Not trying to be confrontational, just hoping to orient you to what is to come: what will you do when the time comes when even a scooter is no longer sufficient for you to 'cruise 3 or 4 times a year?' The answer, of course, is to STILL not travel. Sssooo......................................................................

The missus and I just got off an HAL Mediterranean 18 day 'romantic' cruise that took us from Civitavecchia/Rome south to Malta, east to Turkiye (Kusadasi/Ephesus), Athens, Katakolon/Olympia, Sarande Albania, back top Malta, Sardinia, Naples/Pompeii, Civitavecchia again, Corsica, Villefranche/Monaco, and we disembarked in Barcelona. It was crowded, busy, blazing hot (for we denizens of the PNW), and hectic......but we got 'er done. Unforgettable. 😉

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Good for you folks. Glad you could do all of that. Scooter issue aside, Mild as my problems are compared to many others, I cannot sit for an extended period of time. The 4 to 5 hour trip from home to port of LA/Long Beach Would now be six or seven hours. And air travel is for all practical purposes out of the question.

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Thank you for your notes. I need to read you notes everyday to remind nyself of the positives! Thank you, thank you and thank you!!!

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@edsutton

Sisyphus wrote: "BUT learning attitude is also an indication of being open to new experiences=Curiosity. The most human trait that defines us -- and we pay dearly (in diseases and early disability both mental or physical) when we let it starve."

Yes!
Our minds can be continuously growing, our horizons can be ever expanding.
At 75 my mind-world is the largest it's ever been, and perhaps it will continue to grow until my last day. The thoughts with which I reach out are more gentle and accepting of all I perceive.
I can't do much to change the world, but I can try to know and love it better.

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What a sincere and valuable outlook @edsutton, Curiosity certainly drives my brain and my body. I appreciate your contribution.
Chris

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What gets me (male, 84) is the fear that short-term memory problems may be pointing in an ominous direction. Maybe it´s (just ?!) brain fog as part of my LongCovid ? Also, there is the fear of keeping driving for just one fateful day too many.
Yes, fear, fear. But all that also is my trademark cowardice, when I look around and see health problems far, far, far worse.

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@cmdw2600

My husband and I have made one trip out of the country together (Italy) seven years ago. It truly was life changing and I reminisce about it frequently. Since then, I had cancer and he developed Parkinson’s. I so wish we would have explored more of the United States and beyond while it was easier.

He, like you, does not want to use walking poles or other aids so here we are. If you really have interest in traveling while you still can, I suggest finding methods to do so even if you may appear elderly.

Best wishes,
Cindy

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Oh, I have only failed to visit Maine. Been to the rest, often several times. Hawaii three times, Alaska twice. Forgot. Sent to work in Hawaii in the early 80s, so four times there. Through my work I spent anywhere from a couple hours to several weeks in 37 states. I traveled so much that I avoided getting a passport so I could beg off the several times I was asked to fly to European, Central and South America and the Middle East once. Still, I miss traveling.

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The recent hurricane news has shown me things I had not imagined could happen. We did not sustain damage here (Durham), but places we've visited and enjoyed have been destroyed, places that were considered "refuge" from climate change/global warming.
We aren't in a flood zone, but we could have damage from falling trees and tornadoes, and could loose power and water for long periods if a similar storm passed closer.
[And I've just learned that a distant acquaintance is planning to stop treatment for advanced myeloma, which should lead to death in a few days. It seems he's ready to go, and is glad to have a quick way out.]
So, if I needed a little reminder of suffering to balance my world view, I've gotten some. There is no guarantee against disaster, and we will all leave one day, probably with some degree of discomfort.
A little while ago I filled a bucket with water from the shower spigot. Pure, beautiful crystal clear water, dancing into the bucket. Right now people in what remains of their homes and towns are lucky if they have a few bottles of water.
So this is our world, a world of thousands of miracles we take for granted, and also a world of suffering. I've lived here for 75 years, and still seek to know what to do, day by day.

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