1. < Caregivers: Dementia

Patients "act out" when it's just you there?

Posted by robertwills @robertwills, Sep 11 10:37am

Has anyone experienced the phenomenon where a dementia patient will "act out", like misbehave like a child, but then will behave when someone else appears? Is this common? How does a caregiver deal with it when they are alone?

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jmg60 | @jmg60 | Sep 15 10:03pm
In reply to @rjchambliss5 "Oh wow 😮 same with my husband. We are now arranging for help to come in..." + (show)
@rjchambliss5

Oh wow 😮 same with my husband. We are now arranging for help to come in several times a week, and as mentioned in a separate post, we are now seeing the neurologist, a psychiatrist and a counselor. The neurologist is not as helpful with the “bad behavior” as the psychiatrist and counselor. They are the ones keeping ME sane.

Jump to this post

Yes, staying sane...it's the hard part. I have made great progress in realizing my limitations, as a regular human, in dealing with this. It's ok to get help, hire help, do respite, do Memory care, it's all ok. Keep them safe, keep yourself sane. However that can happen is ok!

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bayviewgal | @bayviewgal | Sep 23 9:03pm
In reply to @laurie22 "Just a thought. My husband was angry and argumentative much of the time around me. Then..." + (show)
@laurie22

Just a thought. My husband was angry and argumentative much of the time around me. Then I learned that I was frequently correcting him, telling him he was doing something wrong, etc, instead of letting him do for himself and make mistakes. If mistakes are made I no longer give him a "what were you thinking?!!" attitude. So I have been working to change my attitude. He is my husband, not an inconvenience I live with. Instead I just don't argue back, don't constantly correct him, and when something doesn't go well, I stay calm even if it means more work for me. Things are a great deal calmer now. I remember that I do things wrong, too. I remember to be loving.

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My husband gets upset and starts swearing when I have to repeat myself when asking him to do something or just a general request. Not all the time, but a lot of the time. I'm repeating myself because I don't think he heard me and then he can just go off on me and then it sets my buttons off. It is sooo very frustrating cuz he was never the type to really swear... especially out of anger. It's taken me some time to accept it and walk away but it's hard sometimes without yelling back(no swearing tho) when he acts this way. After the episode he'll always say he's sorry and tells me i'm the bestest. It's just another one of the many adjustments i've had to make.

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