I need a caregiver helper.

And celebrate we did. It was one of my better ideas to throw a party for myself instead of waiting for the traditional 90th. I wanted no gifts just a memory. And boy did my friends give me a great memory. Every day is a gift. GloRo

I am a fan. I read all your comments. While I am not where you and your husband are, I learn from you and try to prepare myself. Of course, "hope springs eternal" that our journey will be easier...so far my husband remains in good spirits, is easy to be with and finds projects that keeps him content and happy. Last winter his dr prescribed 2 meds that seem to have flattened the trajectory...his memory is not improved, his ability to problem solve is not improved...so there are many skills he has lost. He seems to have stabilized and for that I am grateful.

You DO have a fan following and I am so very happy you had a good, good day!!! Happy Birthday to a wonderful lady with whom we are glad to share both both good and bad!

Hello there,
You certainly had a special caregiver and I hope you find someone to replace her. Her shoes may be difficult to fill! And if you find another caregiver like her, please let me know if she has a sister for me.

@gloro - This is wonderful, helping to make something more tangible than it is, by nature.

My sister & I have just transitioned our 94-yr old mother to "Personal Care", which is not necessarily very "Personal", but so it is with the medical and care community in general, (with all due respect to those who stand out and go above and beyond).

Fortunately we have found a local provider called "Seniors Helping Seniors" and have had 2 visitors to my mother who have become welcome breaks for her for 3 - 4 hrs a day, now 6 days per week. It does add up, and we are all thankful that there are the resources to allow for this visiting.

Nothing changes the facts of aging, though, and that is hard for my mother nearly always. Again, thankfully she is of sound mind, and can get around with a walker, and that was only after (~2 yrs ago) she fell & broke her arm because she wouldn't agree to use a walker/rollator.

Well, there's more to it, but as far as caregiving goes, so far so good. When Mom was in independent living on the same property she struggled with the idea of having a visitor come in to her personal space (home), and the self-imposed pressure of coming up with things for that person to do while there.

Now, fortunately, it seems she is more comfortable with these "Senior" visitors, and with not having to keep them occupied, but having their company.

It's a hard road, and each person's travels vary, but the common denominator seems to be being able to connect to another. And I can say, at 67, that has been my lifelong search anyway: connection.

Warm, warm wishes to all on this journey.

My mom is 98 and got dimentia 3 years ago. Up until then she was independent but of course lived near me and I visited daily. Her dimentia came on quick. I applied for Medicaid for her since she didn’t have assets, her condo I put in a trust. I luckily found an independent living place 12 minutes from me where she resides, with 24 hour live in personal care, room and board. Her SS and pension pay for room and board, I add a little into it each month. The aid is taken care of by Medicaid.

She is pretty much in full dimentia now, very happy and pleasant and likes where she is and is getting great care. I visit often and she knows me and my family, she knows her family. We celebrate holidays there and I take her out on occasion as she needs Ambulette.

I am so grateful to have found this facility - I can put my head on my pillow at night and I don’t worry anymore. My life was a nightmare from when she was age 91-96 when she lived alone for fear of falling, or not being able to help herself at night.

Caregivers are a blessing but challenging to find good caring ones sometimes.

@rolett1 - Thank you for sharing your experience...I am truly warmed by the knowledge that it can actually be a positive experience for your mother AND thus for you.

It's been said many times before, but the many trials of aging are anywhere from "trying", to relentless, to terrifying. And few, if any, are exempt from it.

Many hugs and continued blessings.

Thank you so much. My husband on the other hand has “more than” mild MCI. It is more trying when it involves conversations with him. He has pretty short term memory loss. Lots of repeating stories, asking same questions over and over, it gets tiring emotionally. I feel so bad for him as he does not recognize this aspect of his life. He can still drive and puts out garbage and does dishes in DW so I am grateful for that. He walks for 2 hours a day and speaks 6x to his best friend every day, does the NYT crossword puzzle even though things don’t come as quick to him.

He is very well read and very smart. His cognitive tests were superior in executive health, and other areas, but poorly in the memory and visual. We keep busy together when I’m not working, and he takes a long nap daily. We have a large family and they are supportive. Some live at a distance but speak to him often. We eat very clean and take a lot of supplements and exercise to stay at our best health. We live watching movies, the NYY and going to farmers market and I love to cook delicious healthy meals. Taking care of mom and my husband is top priority - and of course our large family, grandkids, and being grateful sure helps.

Happy Sunday Morning! On their weekly shopping outing, our next-door neighbor brings in the Detroit News so that I can mentally wrestle with its three large puzzles. This is one of those things that keeps me sane, but today, none were found, even with the additional search of a pharmacy's news rack. I will be forced to go directly to projects. Probably a good thing. -- On July 12th, I gave myself an 87th birthday party with my dear boy and the ladies of my Writers Group in attendance. It was perfect. Not being a slave to tradition turned out to be wise. Immediately after that great time, there was a UTI, antibiotics, and a catheter. Disrupting our norms, those pesky
bacteria are playing havoc with his dementia. Introducing a nurse and a bath aide has kept us housebound except for two doctor appointments. It all changed so fast. Thankfully, LO is not in pain. -- But there are bright spots. One of those things that make life easier was installed yesterday. New stairs and a handrail so that an Olympic act of daring is no longer required to leave through the front door. Just in time because it is the most direct route to the hose, and the planters need a drink. Another thing off the list. Then, there was my maiden voyage on InstaCart. I held off until Friday to use their services, but the time has come to stop pretending that grocery shopping is still possible. Friday, I also talked with the VA about what is available to us. It seems respite care for 10 hours a week might be possible either through them or someone privately contracted by us. A claim has been initiated. If you don't start, a favorable outcome is impossible. This is where we circle back to Instagram. The delivery woman has a CNA license and is looking for work. We exchanged numbers, and I will do my due diligence, but at first glance, this might be a solution where he will be safe, and I can return to my Writers Group and have time left to do grocery shopping. -- I took my first and only rollercoaster ride when I was sixteen. When I found terra firma, I went directly to a garbage bin and tossed my cookies. I had enough sense never to repeat the situation. But being a caregiver does not give you that easy an out. This is the rollercoaster ride that ends only when it chooses to end. So far, so good. I know we are making progress. LO just went downstairs to escape the program on the TV in the front room. He is looking for a hockey game or a golf match. Another sign of getting back to our normal. GloRo

Hi GloRo! So good to see your post.

I love that you threw yourself a birthday party. I think I will attempt to do the same for my birthday next month. Everything depends on hubby's state of mind in the moment.

I'm hoping you will be able to return to your writer's group. I love reading your posts here so I imagine you're a very good writer.

My husband is busy reorganizing some photos, articles... this morning. This reorganization has gone on for 3 years now. Things move from one box or bag to another. I then go through the trash to make sure he hasn't thrown out any "keepers" and put them in a safe place.

I'm getting tired of my isolation but his sister is coming to visit on Friday so maybe I can buy new clothes I so badly need. Online shopping has been a disaster.

Hoping we can all get to whatever is normal for us today.

Blessings,
jehjeh