Safety First!

Posted by pml @pml, Sep 12 8:18pm

My husband died two months ago and after 30 years with a wonderful man that I love very much I find myself living totally alone! I began thinking, "What if something should happen?" So I started taking precautions to prevent things from happening:
-I put the phone in the bathroom nearby when I take a shower in case I fell and had to call 911. I also leave the back door unlocked when I shower. If the police have to come and can't get in, they will knock the door down! The rest of the day and night, all doors and windows are locked!
-I have a car alarm to guard against theft.
-I go shopping very early in the morning. I live 15 miles north of Seattle and all their drug using population who are now drifting up into our area. But early in the morning, they are all passed out and it's safe to shop.
-I don't have garage sales. I don't want strangers to know where I live!
-I have no decorative shades on ceiling lights so it's easier and safer to change a light bulb. (I get dizzy if I look up too long.)

That's about as far as I've gotten regarding my safety. Does anyone have any other suggestions that I could consider? I'd really appreciate it!
PML

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Just Want to Talk Support Group.

Good suggestions about the car. I also always look thru the back window to be sure no one is in the back seat before I get in.

To protect your stuff, never leave anything inside the car that will temp a thief. Lots of smash and grabs. I never leave my purse in the trunk as some do. I never set my purse in the grocery cart. I take a light purse and wear it cross body. I always use a zipper purse for added protection.

Don’t let someone watch you put stuff in the trunk. When I was a kid we went to visit family at Christmas. Came out from the hotel and all the presents in our trunk had been stolen. Someone probably saw them when we took the luggage out. So as an adult, if I put shopping bags of stuff in the trunk and need to do more shopping, I always move my car at least a few rows before I continue shopping. I don’t let people watch me put stuff in the trunk and then walk away.

REPLY
@covidstinks2023

pml, You have done some very smart things. Thank you for sharing them. Still praying for you in the homegoing of your husband.

If you have a landline number still, I would keep it in my husband's name if it is posted online or in a phone book. People look for women's phone numbers listed in their names in the phone book and that lets them know that the woman lives alone. I had a friend whose husband passed away and she left the phone number listing in his name.

Never sign a funeral home visitation book when visiting a funeral home to pay respects and put your name and address on the guest book. Our house was almost broken into one time due to us giving out our names and address in paying respect to someone. The person robbing houses, stole the family visitation book and we were next on the list to be robbed. He was caught and he was a family member of the deceased.

God Bless You precious lady. Blessings & Prayers....

Jump to this post

Thank you for your prayers! They always help so much! You are so right about the phone listing. I will keep it in my husband's name. Thank you!

I won't sign a funeral home visitation book either! That is so awful what happened to your family just by signing the guest book! That's terrible! Don't people realize that one of the 10 commandments is to not steal? I'm glad he got caught. Maybe he'll learn from his mistakes!

PML

REPLY
@celia16

My condolences on the loss of your husband. I tend to focus on safety a lot. You probably already have these things:

I’ve read there are safety alert devices you wear on your body that will alert if you fall.

Also, doorbell alarms and outside cameras so you can be alerted to anything suspicious. Motion activated outdoor lights.

Nightlights inside in all areas of house.

A list of medications and allergies on the fridge.

A cell phone with backup battery powered charger in case phone or power goes out.

Having someone check with you daily is very important with a predetermined time. I’ve heard a lot lately of some people who fell and were injured and they laid alone in the floor for days because they couldn’t get to a phone. People called, but just thought they weren’t home.

Jump to this post

Thank you for your condolences! That means a lot!
The alert device might be a good idea. I worry about setting them off when I don't need them but I'll look into them.
I have considered getting outside cameras. It makes sense. Is there any brand that you like?
I do have night lights in the house and my medication and allergy list is easily available with several copies.
The back up battery charger for the cell phone makes sense. I'll look into that also.
My neighbors see me at the dumpster or mail box every day but perhaps I should have one of them call me.
Thanks for the good suggestions!
PML

REPLY
@scottbeammeup

I would look into getting and wearing an Apple Watch. It can detect falls and will call Emergency Services automatically. Plus, if you fall, you may not be able to reach your phone. I don't know if other watch brands can do this. There may be some that do and are less expensive. Apple Watch, though, is MUCH less expensive than a service like Life Alert.

Also, the odds of you being injured by something as simple as a slip and fall are hundreds of times higher than someone coming into your home to harm you. Make sure you don't have any slippery area rugs or things like that. Make sure all the lights in your home are bright enough for you to see well.

Finally, is there someone--a friend or relative or maybe a local senior center--that you can ask to call you once a day to check on you? You could set two times. If you don't answer the first time because, perhaps, you're taking a nap or don't hear the phone, they would call you at the second time and only then if you didn't answer would they send someone to do a wellness check.

Jump to this post

The Apple watch sounds good! I didn't know they did all those things. Do they replace cell phones? I'll look into getting one.
I don't have any area rugs at all for the reason you stated. I keep the rooms in my home free of clutter that you can trip on.
I love bright lights! I have more 100 watt bulbs than most people but I see well with them!
I will look into having someone check on me daily. Other people have suggested this to me also. It makes sense.
Thank you for the good suggestions!
PML

REPLY
@roch

All great ideas.

Daily checkins by someone I think is important. I used to call my mom everyday just to make sure OK. Sometimes I got concern when did not answer, but it was always because she was out doing things.

I had one elderly neighbor who would but a sign in her window every morning that was something like "I am OK" , and remove later in day. If neighbor did not see sign the next day they knew they needed to check on her.

Not big fan of ever leaving door unlocked. Do you have a trusted neighbor to leave a key with. If do call 911, and emergency vehicles show up, the neighbor would see and offer key. I have keypad locks on my doors, so if able to call 911, I could give them the code.

There are many articles on internet about home safety, the National Institute on Aging has a checklist for home safety that has some good ideas:
https://www.nia.nih.gov/sites/default/files/2023-04/worksheet-home-safety-checklist_1.pdf

Jump to this post

I think you are right about daily check ins. Several people have mentioned this to me. I'll look into setting that up.
I'm re-thinking about leaving the door open even though it's the far back door and hard to get to past the trees and foliage but still open is not good! Possibly I could find a secure place outside to hide a key in case I had to call 911 and couldn't get up.
Thank you for the link to the National Institute on Aging. I'll look into that! I didn't know there was a National Institute on Aging!
PML

REPLY
@darleneporter

My prayers are with you, Just one thing, I would never leave my back door unlocked while showering, better to have the police break it down, than have a stranger come in on you, might help to have a security camera or alarm. God Bless You

Jump to this post

Thank you for your prayers! I agree with you about not leaving the back door unlocked when I shower. I've been re-thinking that and won't do that. I'll just find a safe place to hide a key in case I have to call 911 if I fell in the shower. I've never fallen in the shower and I'm steady on my feet but you never know what can happen.
I will definitely look into a security camera like you mentioned.
God bless you also!
PML

REPLY
@pml

The Apple watch sounds good! I didn't know they did all those things. Do they replace cell phones? I'll look into getting one.
I don't have any area rugs at all for the reason you stated. I keep the rooms in my home free of clutter that you can trip on.
I love bright lights! I have more 100 watt bulbs than most people but I see well with them!
I will look into having someone check on me daily. Other people have suggested this to me also. It makes sense.
Thank you for the good suggestions!
PML

Jump to this post

@pml. I have an Apple Watch and an Apple iPhone. The Apple Watch can be synced with your iPhone with bluetooth and you have to have your iPhone in range of Apple Watch to use it as your device for calling and receiving calls.
You can also get an Apple Watch that is set up for cell phone service. That's what I did. There are additional charges with your cell phone company if you decide that you want an Apple Watch to use for messaging (texts), email, and phone calls when you don't have your iPhone with you.

Compare Apple Watch Models:

-- https://www.apple.com/watch/compare/

REPLY
@californiazebra

I agree with others to lock the door while in the shower. I live in a condo and lock my door at all times.

Easier to use text check in than phone calls. I had my mother send me an email every morning just to say she was up and okay. If I didn’t receive a message by noon then I would call. If no answer then I’d go check on her because she fell a lot. Just be sure you keep your message cheery. My mother started using it to vent about everything every morning and that was a hard way to start my day.

Keep your phone with you at all times not just the shower. Or the Apple Watch or emergency alert. You know Murphy’s Law.

When cooking, don’t ever leave the kitchen. My mother was frying meat and went to the bathroom. She fell and couldn’t get up. Luckily she listened to me about keeping her phone in her walker so she was able to call me. We had a neighbor come in and turn off the stove. I moved in with her after that scary episode.

Again when cooking or baking, stay in the kitchen or sit at the dining table if you need to sit so you don’t forget you’re cooking and don’t accidentally fall asleep in a comfy recliner.

Only give your car key to the mechanic or valet. Never leave your house key on the ring.

I always check the doors before I go to bed to be sure I did lock them.

I keep a nightlight in the bathroom so I’m not walking around in the dark.

Do you have grab bars in your shower? Especially needed if stepping in and out of a tub shower.

I’ll keep thinking about precautions I take.

Jump to this post

Thank you for all the good suggestions! You are right about locking the door. I don't think it's a good idea to leave the door unlocked either. I can hide a key outside in case I have to call 911 and can't get up to open the door for them.
That's too bad about your mom complaining every day but maybe she didn't have a lot of people to complain to and you were handy. That's nice that you moved in with her.
I always have a phone nearby. These days you have to.
You are right about staying in the kitchen when you are cooking. If I have to go to the bathroom, I turn everything off. If I have the dryer or dishwasher going and want to go get the mail I turn them off too. You never know when something might short out.
You are right about giving only the car key to the mechanic.
I'm like you, checking the doors before I go to bed. I also turn out the inside lights and look out at the neighborhood to make sure everything is Ok. It always is but it's reassuring. You can see more what is outside with your inside lights off. Then, of course I turn the inside lights back on.
My husband and I put in a walk in shower and it has grab bars in it. They are so nice to have! There is a clock with a bright green light in the bathroom and it doubles as a night light.
Your suggestions are wonderful! Thank you!
PML

REPLY
@gingerw

Be aware of who is around you, in the store or any place public. If you are speaking to a friend, and share information about your husband's passing, someone might be listening.

When you take your car in for servicing, remove the registration and insurance documents from the glove box, plus any other personal identifiers. Give only your car key to the service department.

The first thing to do when you get in your car is to lock the car doors. Likewise, when you unlock your car, open only the driver's door, not all the doors.

Remove all throw rugs in your house if possible, to help prevent slips or falls. Use small nightlights at key spots, like bathroom near the floor, kitchen counter, near the doors. Do you have pets? Make sure you collect/pick up their toys each night before bed, so you don't trip over them.

My father lived in a senior apartment complex. He raised the American flag each day. If it was not up, someone would check on him. Likewise he had severe hearing loss, and could not hear a smoke alarm. They installed a flashing light to indicate the smoke alarm after he burned toast and never heard a thing. The manager used master key to get in and make sure he was okay.
Ginger

Jump to this post

What good suggestions! I am very careful about not mentioning my husband's passing in public places. I do watch whose around where I am. That's why I go shopping so early because the "shady" people don't seem to be around at that early time or at least, not so much.
You are so right about not leaving personal items in the car when it's being serviced and only giving the key to them.
I have no throw rugs and no pets. I have night lights handy.
That's too bad about your father not hearing good. It's nice that he had a good manager in the apartment where he lived. Good for your father raising the American Flag every day! I live in a mobile home park and the only American Flag out is mine. Unfortunately, the world has changed and not necessarily for the better.
Thank you for your good suggestions!
PML

REPLY
@naturegirl5

@pml. I have an Apple Watch and an Apple iPhone. The Apple Watch can be synced with your iPhone with bluetooth and you have to have your iPhone in range of Apple Watch to use it as your device for calling and receiving calls.
You can also get an Apple Watch that is set up for cell phone service. That's what I did. There are additional charges with your cell phone company if you decide that you want an Apple Watch to use for messaging (texts), email, and phone calls when you don't have your iPhone with you.

Compare Apple Watch Models:

-- https://www.apple.com/watch/compare/

Jump to this post

Thank you for the information about Apple Watch! It sounds interesting and useful! I'll look into it. Thanks for the link too.
PML

REPLY
Please sign in or register to post a reply.