How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

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Therapist: "You need to learn to love yourself"
Client: "But I'm not my type."

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@kamama94

"Borrowed" From Louie, who probably borrowed them from itchy's and my favorite person, Somebody Else:

I hate it when I tell someone I`ll be there in 10 minutes, but they continue to call me every half-hour anyway.

A house is not a home until you can find all light switches in the dark.

Had a great time horseback riding today but then I ran out of quarters.

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More classics from you! Much appreciated!

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Accordionist goes to the mall.

Parks his car and heads in.

About 10 minutes later, he realizes he left the car door open, with his accordion in the back seat.

So, he races back to his car.

But it is too late.

By the time he gets there, someone put another accordion in the back seat....

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What is the definition of perfect pitch?

When you throw a banjo in the dumpster and it hits an accordion.

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Why do bagpipers walk while they play?

- they are trying to get away from the noise

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Theme from 'Shaft' - The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain


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Introducing the Baroque Theorbo


(for comedic purposes, please engage with the comments)

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The original Technoviking video


(for comedic purposes, please engage with the comments- but watch first, so the comments are that much more delicious)

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Today I'm haaving a vision problem: I can't see myself doing anything at all.

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@kamama94

"Borrowed" From Louie, who probably borrowed them from itchy's and my favorite person, Somebody Else:

I hate it when I tell someone I`ll be there in 10 minutes, but they continue to call me every half-hour anyway.

A house is not a home until you can find all light switches in the dark.

Had a great time horseback riding today but then I ran out of quarters.

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Some unsolicited replies to your 3 funny jokes, Kamama:

1. Alan Shepard would have probably found your first joke humorous.

2. Reminds me of that famous Satchel Paige quote about another Negro League great, Cool Papa Bell:
"Bell was so fast he could flip a light switch and get into bed before the room went dark!"

3. Similar thing happened to me last Sunday while watching my favorite football team.

I always enjoy your wonderful sense of humor ...... and so does Everybody Else!

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@kamama94

Today I'm haaving a vision problem: I can't see myself doing anything at all.

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Today I'm halving a vision problem: I just got a new monocle.

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@samcal9977zz

Comic Relief - I Am Amazing

I passed the bathroom mirror.

I looked at my reflection and said, "You are Amazing! Everybody else? Not so much..."

My wife was passing by and heard me.

She started to laugh.

Then, she started to laugh more.

And then, she was laughing so much she had tears in her eyes.

Then we sat down to watch TV. And 15 minutes later, she started laughing again.

And 15 minutes after that.

I said, "What's so funny?"

And she said, "You said, out loud, that you were amazing..."

And she began laughing again. And this time she laughed so hard, she got a muscle cramp in her stomach.

I said, "serves you right."

And she said, "I don't care...it's worth it...you said, 'You are amazing!' "

And she was off to another round of hysterical laughter.

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Dracula never told that joke.

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Dear @samcal9977zz

What you wrote and the video at the end - that was killin’ me…
That man with no shirt and wild hair/beard and his “muscles” and his dancing and doing crazy, oh, crazy.

I was excited and inside my kitchen room, I took off my shirt and wood go out on the back yard, I would start dancing outside… then just before going outside, my belly is bigger that I thought & my skin is white-over-white & my beard is super-short than others and then the lady, who lives the other house, making faces, I think it’s me, putting her nose & her lips looks like she thinks I’m doing the same crazy person…

I’m Crazy, really Super-Crazy Person,
Greg D. @greg1956

PS: That’s me on that photo…

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Here’s my photo of what I eat out there, then I move my human body during the day…

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@gregd1956

Dear @samcal9977zz

What you wrote and the video at the end - that was killin’ me…
That man with no shirt and wild hair/beard and his “muscles” and his dancing and doing crazy, oh, crazy.

I was excited and inside my kitchen room, I took off my shirt and wood go out on the back yard, I would start dancing outside… then just before going outside, my belly is bigger that I thought & my skin is white-over-white & my beard is super-short than others and then the lady, who lives the other house, making faces, I think it’s me, putting her nose & her lips looks like she thinks I’m doing the same crazy person…

I’m Crazy, really Super-Crazy Person,
Greg D. @greg1956

PS: That’s me on that photo…

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I am pretty sure that everyone has done the full blown, fun freak out at some point.

I am a former stand-up comedian. We are a fully insane lot.

One time I was on stage at a very fancy cafe. In the front row, a woman was eating this huge piece, of this gorgeous chocolate cake. This was 25 years ago. But in today's dollars, I think that would have been a $15 slice of cake.

And I realized that I could leave the stage, go down there, sit at her table and eat her chocolate cake, as part of the act....though the real motivation was just to eat the cake.

And I did it.

And I got a huge applause for doing it.

I never had that coordination between the emotion of music and dancing. In other words, I am a terrible, terrible dancer. But I always wished I could. Must feel very freeing. I remember some line from a Marty Balin song where he said something like ...he just felt like dancing. And I remember that he actually had been a professional dancer. Must feel great to have that facility.

Maybe in another life...

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