1. < Depression & Anxiety

Narcissistic partner, struggling to cope as I am leaving.

Posted by redtulip54 @redtulip54, Aug 16 5:45am

Anyone out there going through same stuff? I am leaving my narcissistic partner after 10 years, it is so tough how someone can be so secretive and cold and abusive.

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brandysparks | @brandysparks | Aug 24 3:32pm
In reply to @rashida "@brandysparks I hear you - and can relate! I am 78 and still feel that “general..." + (show)
@rashida

@brandysparks I hear you - and can relate! I am 78 and still feel that “general sense of grieving and awareness of loss”, and trying to “keep your head above water in spite of the cast iron weight of that constantly there to pull you down” which you have expressed in a way I couldn’t!

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Wow @rashida !!

Thanks so much for sharing that. Common experience means so much...sharing gives us additional (& gravely needed!) buoyancy!

Hugs. Appreciate hearing more as we go along here. Hugs again!

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brandysparks | @brandysparks | Aug 24 3:43pm
In reply to @daun44 "I try to heal some of the sadness by joining kids in play. Jumping in leaf..." + (show)
@daun44

I try to heal some of the sadness by joining kids in play. Jumping in leaf piles, swinging on swings etc.I was melancholic more than depressed so I went on antidepressant and it really helped. Besides my father my brother too is narcissists and still alive so I limit my contact and leave out anything to do with feelings. I needed to become brutally honest with myself. If I feel attracted to someone I step back and wait until I figure out why. You can go on Quora for a month free trial and learn more about people recovering from a narcissists relationship. Empathy is genetic some people are born without it. I'm careful not to be too nice to people.Any one can act sweet, ask him to do something he doesn't want to do to help you. Develop your own hobbies separate from him. I like to hike and I bought a shirt that says , It's not the destination, it's the journey.Find your own brand of spirituality. Education about psychology helped me. Stay with therapy. Sometimes after I feel it's not doing any good I'll then have a major breakthrough. Eat well, get some exercise, go out in nature and give up sugar. It's the journey

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@daun44 - Thank you so very much.

I really appreciate your specific suggestions; they are really helpful.

Besides being here on MCC, may I ask if you've had any success through your life finding friends, even acquaintances, you feel safe enough with to share these life experiences?

I've found few, if any, who can look past the outward appearance of my life & my family & hear what I have tried to share has been so unrelentingly sad, grief-filled, and heartbreaking, yet invisible.

Appreciate your sharing any experience & how to find real-life persons - outside of therapists - who could be a source of calm, assurance, and maybe even safety. (With all due respect, any religious setting is not going to work for me. )

Thank you, thank you!

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2 replies
daun44 | @daun44 | Aug 26 8:07pm
In reply to @brandysparks "@daun44 - Thank you so very much. I really appreciate your specific suggestions; they are really..." + (show)
@brandysparks

@daun44 - Thank you so very much.

I really appreciate your specific suggestions; they are really helpful.

Besides being here on MCC, may I ask if you've had any success through your life finding friends, even acquaintances, you feel safe enough with to share these life experiences?

I've found few, if any, who can look past the outward appearance of my life & my family & hear what I have tried to share has been so unrelentingly sad, grief-filled, and heartbreaking, yet invisible.

Appreciate your sharing any experience & how to find real-life persons - outside of therapists - who could be a source of calm, assurance, and maybe even safety. (With all due respect, any religious setting is not going to work for me. )

Thank you, thank you!

Jump to this post

Oh, crap I gave you a long reply and that damn survey erased it. I'll try again tomorrow

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daun44 | @daun44 | Aug 28 9:50am

It got erased again. I'll send it in sections

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daun44 | @daun44 | Aug 28 9:56am
In reply to @brandysparks "@daun44 - Thank you so very much. I really appreciate your specific suggestions; they are really..." + (show)
@brandysparks

@daun44 - Thank you so very much.

I really appreciate your specific suggestions; they are really helpful.

Besides being here on MCC, may I ask if you've had any success through your life finding friends, even acquaintances, you feel safe enough with to share these life experiences?

I've found few, if any, who can look past the outward appearance of my life & my family & hear what I have tried to share has been so unrelentingly sad, grief-filled, and heartbreaking, yet invisible.

Appreciate your sharing any experience & how to find real-life persons - outside of therapists - who could be a source of calm, assurance, and maybe even safety. (With all due respect, any religious setting is not going to work for me. )

Thank you, thank you!

Jump to this post

Finding friends has been a lifelong struggle. I have one friend of 50 years who understands but doesn't give advice. My husband is very supportive but doesn't understands. I've come to accept its my own completely

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daun44 | @daun44 | Aug 28 10:01am

Each person helps in little ways. I have a big issue with loss also so I try not to get too attached to any one person along the way except my therapist. Most of my social life is online where I connect with people with similar interests

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daun44 | @daun44 | Aug 28 10:07am

It really helped me to develop my own hobbies that relax me and give me something to be proud of. I'm careful not to compare myself with others. I've found the loneliness and feelings of loss are just part of the package and they do lessen over time

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daun44 | @daun44 | Aug 28 10:21am

It's important to me to finda way to connect myself to a larger sense of life's meaning and my own value in being part of it. I explore different religions and focus on the parts that ring true. I take parts of different Protestant and Jewish teachings and toss anything about sin, punishment and having another person having authority over me. It has evolved into becoming the best version of myself in the time I have left to live

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daun44 | @daun44 | Aug 28 10:32am

Narcissists are everywhere but I'm getting better at saying, I deserve better than this and dump them out of my life. You'll get better at sniffing them out. Quora is a good place to connect with many others dealing with Narcissists and recovering.When I had no ambition I started medication. It's your choice. Don't let ignorant people tell you what you should do. Find a psychic who will give you options, I ment psychiatrist.

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daun44 | @daun44 | Aug 28 10:39am

Keeping a journal, especially one that includes gratitude is helpful. Hide it. There's a group called emotions anonymous that has zoom meetings. I don't know much about them but you learn from everything. Like always, take what you need and toss away the rest

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