Caregivers: Early Onset Alzheimer's, diagnosis age 19 to 65
Per the mentor's suggestion, I am starting a thread specific to Caregivers whose Loved One (LO)/spouse/ partner has been diagnosed with dementia while they were younger than 65. This diagnosis is quite different from geriatric Alzheimer's in that it strikes able-bodied people in the prime of their lives while they are still building careers and caring for families. This creates a different set of challenges and the effects of the disease can be physically, emotionally and financially devasting to the patients, their spouses and children.
Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers: Dementia Support Group.
Thanks for your response. I agree with your thoughts about living with confusion and not wanting to drag it out. My husband and I talked about that quite a bit when MCI first started showing itself. He doesn't want it to prolong the suffering and initially refused the Donepezil for that reason. I encouraged him to try it, though and he agreed. About the idea of antidepressants, my husband has many many other ailments, including major depressive disorder, so he's already on various (ineffective) antidepressants. I can't get him to exercise, but at least he's eating healthier than he had been. The family is all out of state. Best life? I know that's what I should aspire towards for both of us. I'm failing. But, I'm still trying. Again, thanks for your honest reply.
My husbands PCP is also a close friend. I think he was in denial until I told him I wanted my SO to see a neuropsychologist. His friend then referred us to a geriatrician who specializes in dementia. That is where we got the diagnosis of MCI in March 2023. We then saw two neuropsychologists for months after. Never saw a neurologist. No medications just a ton of supplements all prescribed by the neuropsychologist.
Along with continued exercise, a Mediterranean Diet that includes meat, socialization, and brain games. We do it all.
When I asked the geriatrician whether he needed to start Aricept or other meds he said- no. Continue whatever you are doing. He knows little about any of the supplements but felt good about what we are doing to keep things from progressing too fast.
Every individual with cognitive impairment has a different brain and body and needs a good doctor to SEE THEM. Some may need helpful meds, but for others meds may not be helpful.
Balanced exercise is the best medicine that all his docs agree on. My husband goes to the gym and walks. But all that may be prolonging life in his body. We need the brain to keep up.
This disease that causes confusion to the patient also is confusing to caregivers and doctors.
In the end all we can do is enjoy the moment.
Give yourself a barrel of grace. You can take a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Would moving closer to family be an option? Try to do things that make you happy, so he can get a booster by osmosis. I can only offer walks, swimming, art classes which he turns down.
My goal is to keep him clean, safe and fed. If I can accomplish that, I've done something. Anything else is gravy. He was an architect and preferred doing projects rather than interacting with people. He built our young daughters a playhouse that was shown in Sunset magazine. They loved it, but I wonder if the girls might have preferred a game of catch or reading a book together instead. I still get advice about keeping him stimulated and engaged. I can assure friends that put into a group environment, he would be detached and very unhappy to be there. It didn't work before ALZ and it won't work now. ALZ patients are not the same; they bring their lifelong habits and lifestyles with them. Do all you can do, but all you can do is enough. Put "should" in your pocket and just look for tiny wins in a day. I have an active social life online with friends all over the country; at 80, I even have a pen pal I've never met. Not the same as lunching with friends, but I feel in contact with the outside world by chatting about other ideas besides ALZ. It can be all consuming. Keep your head up and keep treading water.
Thank You for your advice and words of wisdom. He used to go to the gym on a regular basis but has stopped going. We were also taking walks on a nightly basis, but we stopped after I had reconstruction surgery to my nose after MOHS for SSC. The surgery has had complications so I am not myself lately, but hopefully will start again soon!
I am trying to find a neuropsychologist in Massachusetts without having to travel to Boston. Wish me luck!
Thanks for the lovely words. I'm not surprised you have a full social life, despite not going out. I'll try to be grateful for what I have and be happy that I can still give, whether it's enough or not, it'll be what I can give.
@meitsjustme - Just wanted to say that your shared experience and efforts are heard, and I support you in your journey. What a bucketload of challenges, and I again want to give you kudos for your approach to these things.
The fact that you're "still trying" speaks volumes about your compassion, love and stamina.
Sending comforting thoughts to you.
@maryvc - Sincere "Bravo!" to you and your approach to these circumstances.
As you so aptly stated: BEING SEEN is so, so, so! essential. An informed, caring, up-to-date professional (doctor) is key to managing all this.
Warm hugs to you for...you and your husband. Thank goodness you have each other!
@billiekip - Wow. Genuinely impressed by your spirit and approach to these challenges.
Just wanted to share that. Wishing you continued wellness.
Hi @pamwill1960, you asked about information regarding early onset dementia. You may be interested in this related discussion:
- Caregivers: Early Onset Alzheimer's, diagnosis age 19 to 65
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/caregivers-early-onset-alzheimers-diagnosis-age-19-to-65/
"Early onset" or young onset dementia is a term for people diagnosed at a young age, typically younger than 65. Not to be confused with "early stage" dementia. Dementia is often desribed by stage: early, middle and late (regardless of age), to explain the progression of symptoms.
Some of the symptoms you describe can be an indication of something other than dementia, like a reaction to medications, aging, or another neurological issue.
You've been through a lot yourself. One step at a time. The first concern is to keep both you and your husband safe. Is he still having issues with falling? Were you able to find a neuropsychologist closer to home?
@pamwill1960 My husband has Early Onset Alzheimer's diagnosed at age 59. We are now beginning the advanced or severe stage at age 63. There is wisdom out there. I am in a closed group specifically for female partners whose loved one has EOAD (aka YOAD aka as Alzheimer's Disease, Presenile Onset). Let me know if that is a specific fit for you and I will help you get connected. There is also Lorenzo's House. Please make sure you have your legal/financial ducks in a row before diagnosis.
Then he would need to have a full neuro-psych work up with psych testing, labs, a lumbar puncture, MRI and Petscan. Diagnosis can take a very long time because they rule out everything else first. Good luck in your journey.