No more Driving

Oh Judi, can I relate "Now he's a front seat driver and it infuriates me, because he's telling me how to drive and commenting on every move I make." We have always shared driving, but there are many more situations now where I take the wheel, as he is confounded by instructions from the GPS, especially when he won't wear his hearing aids. And in unfamiliar surroundings or heavy traffic he gets very flustered.
Now I put my brain on "bypass" when he starts in; think of something pleasant or concentrate on the traffic. If he accuses me of not listening, I say "Oh my tinnitus is really loud today, I didn't hear you."

My husband is also a front seat driver.
I always thank him for his help and tell him I appreciate it;-)

Thank you, California. I've written before re this issue. A diagnosis of ALZ is an immediate ending of driving for a patient in CA. The DMV is advised by the neurologist. In retrospect, my husband drove longer than he should have. I was the "navigator" and told him where to go, his own personal Siri. He began his sundowning escapades while still driving and went off in the car for 6 hours. This is before he had tracers on his keys or phone. I finally found him in a grocery store parking lot listening to music. He didn't remember how to start the car and he didn't want to go into the hotel (grocery store.) Terrifying experience. As much as I don't like to drive, I am thankful he is off the road for his own safety and the safety of others.

Dear(s) @johnna16 & @sueinmn & @trishaanderson & @billiekip

Dear(s) @johnna16 & @sueinmn & @trishaanderson & @billiekip

Alright, I got it with you guys… know, I have no idea… hmmm… wait… “No More Driving” & for me “NO MORE Riding MCs again”

I’ve seen some of what you guys wrote, like…
1) he’s telling me how to drive
2) he’s a danger
3) My husband is also a front seat driver
4) ALZ is an… ending of driving

Well, for me, I do #1 to - even yell at my wife to do this or that, for our safety… she hates that when she is the driver…

I can’t driver anymore from my TBI accident 12 years ago. Part of my eyes only work to the left-side eyes, but walking, there’s nothing there on my right-side eyes.

For me, for “normal” people, that can drive, helps themselves & other folks. That’s 90% of “normal” folks everyday going to food, doctors, working, church, new car, and in. I’m not there, but, thankfully, my wife does a lot of these things.

Thx,
Greg D… @greg1956

Hi Greg - Please don't yell at her - I hate that!
When you said "Part of my eyes only work to the left-side eyes, but walking, there’s nothing there on my right-side eyes" that is common after stroke and TBI. Yours would be called "right side neglect" - your eyes may see things on the right, but fail to inform your brain. My Mom had it on the left, which is why her car had to go - she would pull out into oncoming traffic and not even know it.
After all this driving talk, we retook the safe driving course yesterday and passed it - I might even have learned a thing or two - beyond relearning how much I hate computer-driven courses!
I expect my spouse will be driving for a while yet, the balance will just gradually continue to shift. And I do the night and unfamiliar-big-city driving. But he is far better than I am at backing up our camper.
On the other hand, my same-age cousin's car keys are permanently "lost" because any discussion of stopping driving are met with terrible outbursts. But the thought that she just mislaid them works for right now.

I am dealing with a daily issue of driving. My husband has always loved cars. He has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s with a lot of characteristics of Lewy bodies. He wants to drive every time we get in the car. He thinks he can just go buy another car so he can drive. Back in March I signed him up for the driving evaluation and he failed big time. The neurologist told him he could not drive. He argued with him that he was a much safer driver that anyone out on the road.
He got so mad at me that I would not let him drive after we got Starbucks that he said he would just walk home. I could not get him in the car. He started walking against traffic on a very busy road. He fell, lost a shoe cut and bruises. I had to call 911 to come and stop him.
This is a daily issue and driving is one thing he does not forget,
I wish there was an explanation that would satisfy him but nothing seems to matter.

I went through that with my husband,too. But one day, he disappeared for 2 1/2 hours to go to a store 2 miles away. And he forgot his phone. Scared me to death. I prayed and prayed, bargained with God. He had gotten lost and had to ask directions on how to get to our street. If he had asked a policeman, they would have taken his license on the spot. I just hope that demeaning embarrassment doesn't happen to your husband. Or worse.

I have all the keys hidden. He took off walking out of the house. He ended up at the security gate about 1/2 mile. His apple tag did not work. It showed he was around the house.I would hate to see how he would drive and who knows where he would go. I’m thinking about getting a video game that has a steering wheel and a foot pedal. I’m not sure they have such a game.maybe on Nintendo. I don’t know if that will work but I’m willing to try.

This disease doesn't get better. I do all the driving now. It's hard, but I don't want to be the cause of his or someone else's injury or death.