Hi @tsoy. For quite a long time I was able to do 1-person transfers even when my wife was unable to assist in much of any manner. In our case a bear hug and transfer worked for quite awhile.

I worked hard to get her to agree to let me do a transfer --- only 1 a day --- before she needed it so she knew what was going to be coming later. It seemed to help especially in those early days of 1-person transfers.

When we went to 2-person transfers it was a caregiver and me. They were a challenge since we were then trying to coordinate three peoples' motions, but it got the job done. 2-person did not last long, just a couple of months, before she was unable to withstand the efforts needed to move her, even with two people and she refused --- REFUSED to use the Hoyer lift we had. She saw that as far too much of an indignity but that was just her and her fighting spirit.

It still amazes me how much she had to give up and accept...

Peace, courage, and strength

Me too. Alzheimer's disease

@pearlandpeacock

My husband has dementia, too, and I am his sole caretaker. His dementia has been quite slow-moving. Looking back, I think we are at least six years into it, and, more likely seven or eight, since symptoms could be noticed, but only about four and a half since diagnosis. His confusion has increased more rapidly in the past several months. Occasionally my husband, too, mistakes me for someone else, or does not remember we are married. He has begun wanting to go home, when we are at home. His sundowning often begins in early to mid afternoon, around the time I need a little rest, and then he may become very active, agitated, confused, difficult to handle. As yet, he is on no medication to help calm him.. For some reason, the doctors we have seen seem unwilling or unable to prescribe a very mild sedative for him. He has an appointment with another doctor in mid-December, and, hopefully, that one will be more understanding and helpful.

It sounds as though your husband's dementia is moving much more rapidly. My father's dementia moved rapidly, too. I would say that it was only five or six years from our noticing that something was wrong, to him no longer knowing me. He knew he had a daughter by my name, but he was looking for a very little girl - worried about her if she wasn't home near dusk, wanting to go out looking for her. At least I know he loved his little girl, and tried to protect her. I think he knew my mother a little bit longer.

I have read that many types of dementia are grouped under the title of Alzheimers. This seems problematic to me. Until researchers work very closely with caretakers, or immerse themselves in the lives of the victims, 24/7/365, documenting various individuals' symptoms, behaviors, stages, similarities, differences, they will not be able to accurately categorize these illnesses. Documentation, documentation, documentation, from the people most intimately involved, on a regular basis, is necessary to accurately differentiate these illnesses. I guess it bugs me that seemingly different dementias are sort of thrown into one box. I think there needs to be more and better distinction and categorization in order to get to the roots of the causes. What bugs me most of all, is that it has been fifty-some years since the onset of my father's symptoms, and there is still no cure, and very little and temporary treatment.

In any case, we're in this, too, and any hints or advice we can share with each other may be helpful and appreciated.

Take care.

Macbeth

Yes my husbands father, whom I never met, had it 60 or so years ago, It wasn't even diagnosed. Richard (my husband) told me about his dad, how he was "crazy" and couldn't remember things from one minute to the next, etc. years ago, and the paranoid hallucinations his father had. For example, he thought his wife, Richards mother, was sleeping around...he probably got this notion 'cause she did have a child out of wed lock (in the late 30's), Richards half brother. His father would lock her in the house, the poor woman, and back then she didn't know what to do about it, she was timid and shy and there wasn't the help for abused women. At first I thought his dad had brain damage from chemicals as he was a miner before he retired to the city, married and bought an apartment building. But now it makes sense. His dad had fairly early onset Alzheimer's. I wonder if chemicals may have contributed to it?

It seems to be common now, just wondering if modern environmental factors contribute? Or maybe people are living longer. My own Dad is 88 and has NO signs of it, though.

@pearlandpeacock
My gut feeling is that chemical exposure has something to do with some of it. For example, Vietnam vets have had a higher incidence of ischemic heart disease (Agent Orange exposure). Since there is nothing in the makeup directing that specifically toward the heart, it could build up anywhere in the body, including the small blood vessels to the brain. That's my gut feeling about what is happening to my husband. With my father, if you put it on a graph, with year one on the left, and year 11 on the right, the decline would be represented by a pretty straight line from the upper left corner, to the bottom right corner. In my husband's case, of course, there is no end year, but the line from the upper left corner would show a much slower, much less direct decline, and rather than being straight, it would be very wavey, until recently, when the waves have turned into more like jagged lines, much closer together, with deeper lows.

That is a great way to describe things. Thank you for helping us on our journey.

I am new here but want to acknowledge all of the caregivers here, our struggles and strength. Prayers be with you all and take each day at a time sometimes each minute at a time . Just know you will get through it although some days it doesn't seem like its possible. I find the more I make it through, the more confidence I have , and the stronger I feel about myself don't get me wrong , because there are days I find myself thinking I am the weakest person in the world, and at my wits end......
I have been with a man for 12 yrs. He is 60 now, I am 54...I chose not to get married again as I was for 25 yrs and am widowed , My husband died in a car accident when he was 44 and I 42. He died on Thanksgiving in 2004 and was buried on my Birthday Dec 1.
The man I am with now is 520 lbs, and 6 foot 7...I am 150 lbs and 5;5..as you can probably guess this has caused some other problems with caregiving . He started acting weird, saying things to people like what a nice butt they had or they shouldn't wear that in public, or talking about things he just shouldn't be talking about in public and I asked the Dr about it because after a yr it also became aggressive, He would get so angry when I would try to put the mail on his table when he wanted to take a piece off the table, simple things like that . He would throw things, say mean things , show no empathy, talk about things from past continuously , and accuse me of stealing his pills or money when I don't even have access to his money and don't need his pills.
They did a CT and found he has atrophy in the temporal lobe (Intra orbital ) They have called it Picks disease and I am not sure what that means for the future. I already do everything, and I mean everything , he is on commode, can hardly walk, is morbidly obese, has A Fib, and Diabetic.( type 2 ) and addicted to food and to spending money we do not have. He just got out of the rehab place after 3 months and was in hospital for a mo before that ,
I am at my wits end as he doesn't have a will or a POA , and refuses to get anything to help me as I believe he thinks in his paranoia that I will take his money or hurt him in some way which couldn't be further from the truth....I am at a loss,
I am talking too his Dr about all this at his next visit and hoping the Dr will recommend his getting affairs in order. Thanks for letting me vent. I have no one else , and he has no family that can help me.

We have the Roskamp Clinic here in Sarasota , Fl. Please if you can google them. They are doing cutting edge research on all forms of dementia (Alzheimer's , Picks disease , FTD (frontotemporal Lobe Disorder).
We are all in this together. I have a stroke survivor. The debris hit the right front part of his brain. The personality changed from this damage very very quickly.
Know you are doing your personal best. Know that any help or information you can get is a lifeline. A sympathetic doctor or hospital social worker is heaven sent ! Take the best care you can, this is tough sledding ! We are all with you!!

Thank you @ladycat, I appreciate any help I find here and Thank you so much for your support !

bvFTD is what I believe he has , We have just found out with CT scan that he has Frontal Lobe damage. I believe he had a stroke about a yr ago , as he woke with slurred speech, couldn't get up , and acted very strange. I have been a CNA for 25 yrs , and I kept checking his vitals, and they were fine so I let it wait a bit as he refused to go anywhere and to let me call anyone. A few hrs later he seemed fine again but I do think that was the problem. He has also taken his meds twice now, a whole bottle of klonipin, and a whole bottle of Vicodin, 40 at a time ...I also thought maybe he took his meds wrong again. He wont let me do his meds for him , although I have separated them so that hopefully this doesn't happen again. I especially worry because now he is on OXy, Vicodin, Morphine, and antidepressants .........ugh, It is very difficult dealing with such a big man, and super stubborn and no empathy in him at all any more. My family is put off by him because of the things he says, sexual things , and I do worry with the grandkids around he will say something that will be awful. It has happened and I covered the best I could but one of these days I don't know....and he wont let me tell them what is wrong with him , so it makes it difficult. Everyone just thinks he is nuts , and mean to me when it is a medical thing. ...He is with it most of the time, he can dress himself , and do his teeth , and reads, but I gave up arguing with him , as I found if I just agree to whatever he says , it keeps me sane, and also just because he says something wrong , I do what I have to anyway , and even if he is wrong in something he says , if I agree , it stops the arguing and I still don't have to agree with him but it just makes it easier and no fighting for an hr. This may be the wrong way to go but I don't believe he knows what he says and an hr later he usually changes his mind about it anyway ,