Thank you Teresa. I had found a great therapist a few years ago and he helped me immensely. We relocated to a different state 2 years ago and I have not been able to find another therapist that takes out insurance, so it has been a struggle. I was dx with breast cancer the end of April and it has been tough not having a therapist to talk to.
I am so happy for you that you got therapy and are moving on with your life in a healthier way. I am sure it has been tough on you to go no contact. If you feel comfortable please share will us more on what your coping skills/boundaries are?
I have been using the Grey Rock method for about 3 months now with husband and it seems to be working quite well for me. Always a struggle though but life is a lot better for me and I now know it is NOT ME!!!!
Gardenchef (love that name) it reminds me of when we had our huge garden and we would go out and pick fresh veges and herbs and come back in and prepare them for dinner!
I always knew something was "off" with my mother. It wasn't until I was in my mid 50's did I learn about narcissism. I had heard the term, but never really knew what it meant. I just thought my mother was mean and controlling. Never nurtured, never hugged or even told "I love you" as a child or an adult. I did go to live with my dad and my step mom (who was awesome) when I was 15. I also found out my mother was institutionalized when I was around 3 years old, after my dad came home from work and found her shaking me and yelling at me. After going no contact, I learned she would push me down as a toddler and when I started crying, she would yell at me to stop crying and tell my daddy "shut that kid up". I also found out a huge scar I have above my forehead was from her pushing me into an end table as a small child. So many other things. Anyway, I tried gray rock by my therapist. It was so bad that he recommended going no contact, which I did. No notice, I just stopped all contact with her and changed my number and moved away. I felt alot of guilt at first, but I know now it was for my own well being and sanity.
My mother has made several attempts to contact me through my kids and husband and has even gone so far as to call 911 and fake an illness, yet refusing to go with them if I do not show up and go with her.
I did EMDR therapy as well. I was diagnosed with CPTSD due to the prolonged chronic emotional childhood abuse.
Then, as luck would have it, I married a narcissist at age 18. Divorced him little over 6 years later. I basically married my mother. How lucky! The gas lighting and manipulation is so debilitating. Again, I was not aware that my ex was that way, I learned when I learned about my mother. My 2 kids from previous marriage are adults now with their own kids. They do not have a relationship with him either as he did the same thing to them.
Fortunately, I have bene married 33 years to the love of my life. He treats me like a queen and is so loving and supportive of me.
Sorry this was so long.
Gardenchef (love that name) it reminds me of when we had our huge garden and we would go out and pick fresh veges and herbs and come back in and prepare them for dinner!
I always knew something was "off" with my mother. It wasn't until I was in my mid 50's did I learn about narcissism. I had heard the term, but never really knew what it meant. I just thought my mother was mean and controlling. Never nurtured, never hugged or even told "I love you" as a child or an adult. I did go to live with my dad and my step mom (who was awesome) when I was 15. I also found out my mother was institutionalized when I was around 3 years old, after my dad came home from work and found her shaking me and yelling at me. After going no contact, I learned she would push me down as a toddler and when I started crying, she would yell at me to stop crying and tell my daddy "shut that kid up". I also found out a huge scar I have above my forehead was from her pushing me into an end table as a small child. So many other things. Anyway, I tried gray rock by my therapist. It was so bad that he recommended going no contact, which I did. No notice, I just stopped all contact with her and changed my number and moved away. I felt alot of guilt at first, but I know now it was for my own well being and sanity.
My mother has made several attempts to contact me through my kids and husband and has even gone so far as to call 911 and fake an illness, yet refusing to go with them if I do not show up and go with her.
I did EMDR therapy as well. I was diagnosed with CPTSD due to the prolonged chronic emotional childhood abuse.
Then, as luck would have it, I married a narcissist at age 18. Divorced him little over 6 years later. I basically married my mother. How lucky! The gas lighting and manipulation is so debilitating. Again, I was not aware that my ex was that way, I learned when I learned about my mother. My 2 kids from previous marriage are adults now with their own kids. They do not have a relationship with him either as he did the same thing to them.
Fortunately, I have bene married 33 years to the love of my life. He treats me like a queen and is so loving and supportive of me.
Sorry this was so long.
Thanks for sharing your story with us. You are one strong woman. So happy that you met the love of your life and you are now treated like a queen. That makes my heart happy. All of us survivors need to support each other.
Thank you Teresa. I had found a great therapist a few years ago and he helped me immensely. We relocated to a different state 2 years ago and I have not been able to find another therapist that takes out insurance, so it has been a struggle. I was dx with breast cancer the end of April and it has been tough not having a therapist to talk to.
Losing a good therapist is definitely a loss, @meeshodge. I would encourage you to keep searching and I hope that someone will come on the scene who can work with you.
Do you have any other supports like support groups or journaling?
Losing a good therapist is definitely a loss, @meeshodge. I would encourage you to keep searching and I hope that someone will come on the scene who can work with you.
Do you have any other supports like support groups or journaling?
I am the person that started this group in hopes of making it a support group for all those victims of narcissistic behavior. I am hoping it continues to grow and people will use it to learn knowledge and heal.
Losing a good therapist is definitely a loss, @meeshodge. I would encourage you to keep searching and I hope that someone will come on the scene who can work with you.
Do you have any other supports like support groups or journaling?
I am the person that started this group in hopes of making it a support group for all those victims of narcissistic behavior. I am hoping it continues to grow and people will use it to learn knowledge and heal.
Hi all, can anybody share how they are doing 3, 4 or year down the track after separation from their narcissistic partner? I am about to leave my partner and I have such anxiety and pain. Is anybody going through rough patch right now? Especially after long term relationships, mine was 10 years.
Please know that you aren’t alone. We all feel that pain that you are experiencing. I have found great comfort in reading the book “It’s Not You” by Dr. Ramani. My therapist highly recommended that book. You also can find her podcast on the internet. If you can find others that can support you that would be great. Anyone that understands. We do in this group. I am in with you all the way. Please read all comments on this thread. There may be something that will help.
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Will your previous therapist zoom sessions?
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1 ReactionGardenchef (love that name) it reminds me of when we had our huge garden and we would go out and pick fresh veges and herbs and come back in and prepare them for dinner!
I always knew something was "off" with my mother. It wasn't until I was in my mid 50's did I learn about narcissism. I had heard the term, but never really knew what it meant. I just thought my mother was mean and controlling. Never nurtured, never hugged or even told "I love you" as a child or an adult. I did go to live with my dad and my step mom (who was awesome) when I was 15. I also found out my mother was institutionalized when I was around 3 years old, after my dad came home from work and found her shaking me and yelling at me. After going no contact, I learned she would push me down as a toddler and when I started crying, she would yell at me to stop crying and tell my daddy "shut that kid up". I also found out a huge scar I have above my forehead was from her pushing me into an end table as a small child. So many other things. Anyway, I tried gray rock by my therapist. It was so bad that he recommended going no contact, which I did. No notice, I just stopped all contact with her and changed my number and moved away. I felt alot of guilt at first, but I know now it was for my own well being and sanity.
My mother has made several attempts to contact me through my kids and husband and has even gone so far as to call 911 and fake an illness, yet refusing to go with them if I do not show up and go with her.
I did EMDR therapy as well. I was diagnosed with CPTSD due to the prolonged chronic emotional childhood abuse.
Then, as luck would have it, I married a narcissist at age 18. Divorced him little over 6 years later. I basically married my mother. How lucky! The gas lighting and manipulation is so debilitating. Again, I was not aware that my ex was that way, I learned when I learned about my mother. My 2 kids from previous marriage are adults now with their own kids. They do not have a relationship with him either as he did the same thing to them.
Fortunately, I have bene married 33 years to the love of my life. He treats me like a queen and is so loving and supportive of me.
Sorry this was so long.
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6 Reactionshe is not licensed in the state I moved to.
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1 ReactionThanks for sharing your story with us. You are one strong woman. So happy that you met the love of your life and you are now treated like a queen. That makes my heart happy. All of us survivors need to support each other.
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5 ReactionsLosing a good therapist is definitely a loss, @meeshodge. I would encourage you to keep searching and I hope that someone will come on the scene who can work with you.
Do you have any other supports like support groups or journaling?
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1 ReactionI am the person that started this group in hopes of making it a support group for all those victims of narcissistic behavior. I am hoping it continues to grow and people will use it to learn knowledge and heal.
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6 ReactionsI do not
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2 ReactionsHello, I just joined the group. I am about to leave my partner of 10 years, he is a narcissist
I am really struggling and feeling so alone
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2 ReactionsHi all, can anybody share how they are doing 3, 4 or year down the track after separation from their narcissistic partner? I am about to leave my partner and I have such anxiety and pain. Is anybody going through rough patch right now? Especially after long term relationships, mine was 10 years.
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2 ReactionsPlease know that you aren’t alone. We all feel that pain that you are experiencing. I have found great comfort in reading the book “It’s Not You” by Dr. Ramani. My therapist highly recommended that book. You also can find her podcast on the internet. If you can find others that can support you that would be great. Anyone that understands. We do in this group. I am in with you all the way. Please read all comments on this thread. There may be something that will help.
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3 Reactions