33 year old F, I’m so tired of living

mariagmerlino, I am old enough to be your Mama. Please take this from a loving Mother's heart, ok?

Praying for you right now. You are loved and God loves you very much. He made you special (Psalm 139:14). Yes, I am a Christian and I love you and I haven't even met you. I'm sure other people love you too. You have got to love yourself, ok? I am sure you have a lot to offer this world. There is nobody else just like you. We are all different and that's what makes us all so special. We compliment each other with our differences & strengths.

Sometimes we can all get hyper-focused on things about ourselves that we don't like. I'm sure that other people are not noticing your nose nearly as much as you are. Please don't be so hard on yourself. Don't compare yourself to others or you will be miserable, ok?

Is there someone you can go talk to that you feel confident and comfortable with? A Pastor? A Christian Counsellor that will be honest with you? Your words scream out depression and I pray that you get some help. Here is an Anxiety Hotline: 1-800-950-6264 and Crisis Hotline# 988. Sometimes just talking your feelings out with someone that will listen and encourage, makes a world of difference. I'm not sure what kind of insurance you have, but, if they can get you into counseling that would be wonderful to help you out of this dark time in your life. Promise me you will not do anything to hurt yourself please. I care.

Find at least 5 things every day to be thankful for. Journal your feelings. It is an anxiety reliever to write things out. You'll be amazed of what you have to be grateful for.

Exercise, eat as healthy as you can and drink plenty of water. It makes a difference!

I am sorry for those that have hurt you. People can be cruel can't they? I apologize on their behalf.

I can also tell you are lonely. To have friends, we must be a friend. Reach out to others. I guarantee you their are others that are lonely and will understand. You never know who the Lord may put in your path....just for you! Please don't let a few that have hurt you cause you to withdraw from life and people. There are many nice people in this world.

Community Colleges are wonderful. You must be very talented to want to do art. I can't draw a lick! One of my children got their nursing degree at a Community College and has done quite well. It's ok if you are later in life finding your "niche". My other child was also late in life finding their "niche" and that was ok. They found it later in life and are doing well too.

There are so many loving people on this website that really genuinely care. Please keep us all updated young lady.

I am signing off for now. Keep me posted. Love & Prayers, Mama

Hello @mariagmerlino and welcome to Connect. It is easy to get focused on an area of your appearance when you are feeling down about other areas of your life. So, let's take one thing at a time.

You say that you are getting free tuition at a community college. That's wonderful! Believe it or not, an associate's degree can really take you farther in some fields that a bachelor's degree and without the long commitment of time in school and tuition costs. It all depends on your field of study. Once you get that degree and a job, then you can focus on your love for art and becoming involved in groups where you can enjoy art.

A drama club might be a great place for you to learn confidence. Art clubs like this are great ways to meet accepting people where you can grow in confidence and have people in your life with similar interests and goals.

When you say, "Or maybe I just need to get out there more" I think you are on the right track.

Mental health issues can certainly get in the way and make your thinking fuzzy and negative. Do you think that it is possible that this is your problem right now? Try seeing if your community college has a counseling department. Perhaps you can talk with someone who can offer you a new perspective. Is that possible? If you belong to a church, talk with a pastor.

What do you think about the options that may be available to you right now?

If you think your face and nose are holding you back, I would strongly encourage you to do an online search for images the of following: Jimmy Durante, Igor Stravinsky, Karl Malden, Adam Driver, and Adrian Brody. You are who you make yourself out to be. Don't sell yourself short. God doesn't make junk.

Please take heart. You are very young. I know it doesn’t feel like it today, but you are young. Your life can definitely change for the better.

I agree with others who mention it’s great you are going to Community College. Try to talk to someone there about what courses may open doors to a well paying career.

When you’re down, it’s hard to see the light. But the fact that you are going to school, and recognize you need to “get out there” gives me great hope for you.

Keep going, keep trying, things can get better.
Sending love and good vibes to you right now❤️

Dear @mariagmerlino

@a young person@ and I read most of what you wrote. You are alive the most important: You are alive, this moment.

@I bless@ a lot of other Mayo Clinic members; people help people every minute within Mayo logins. And Bless

@You are a@ great, beautiful person thatpurpose for your coming future - day-by-day; every minute!

Thx,
Greg D.

PS: You said you have a “giant nose”; come on, young lady, you are 33 year-young human person. I’m double-age than you…

@But, do you know@, I keep my hair over the top of my left-side head? According Drs, my wife, and me, I have a >>>large hole<

Here’s the rest of what I wrote (this program doesn’t allow uses like ‘> ‘

@ Large hole@ in my head/brain the bicycle accident was/id 12 yrs ago… an according I began a TBI person. I’ve lost 80% of my memories, ability, understanding - shoot, l lost the words of what I wanted to write this.. daggoneit..

@mariagmerlino I know you’re in a difficult place now and just don’t know how to get out of it. I feel like I was in your place some years ago. Every time i made some friends, we would move again, and I would have to start all over again. Then in my 30’s I started school and majored in nursing. All through school, i just couldn't imagine how I, a quiet, insecure person, could possibly be a nurse. But, I stuck with it. The school , a community college, helped all of us by the way they structured the program. And I graduated!
And you ask, “How far will an AA get me?” Well, it got me to where I am now. I recently retired as the director of the Cancer Center at our local hospital! And you know what? YOU can do it too!! I have great faith in you!

gregd1956, God Bless You greatly Mr. Greg. Praying for you right now. What sweet & kind & encouraging words. Blessings to you....

As per google: "Stunning and elegant, Academy Award-winning actresses Meryl Streep, Natalie Portman, and Viola Davis all have larger than average noses"... not to mention Barbra Streisand, Lady Gaga, Adrian Brody and Owen Wilson (to name just a few). All with big noses who did not let it get in their way! These folks let their beauty shine, despite not being what is typically thought of as picture perfect. Carpe Diem, young lady.... Carpe Diem! You have a lot to offer to the world!

May He hear every word she has prayed. It's two mother's hearts asking Him now.